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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Aug 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Kevin-975826 said: So then the fact remains people are not being honest with each other, and that has been going on for centuries. I would truly hope that people using a catholic dating site, were true to their word, but I guess even in the 21st century, we still cannot be honest and truthful with each other.
Kevin this is another expectation that I think single Catholics in particular have about CatholicMatch.

" I would truly hope that people using a catholic dating site, were true to their word, but I guess even in the 21st century, we still cannot be honest and truthful with each other."

Is there are a higher percentage of people who are of higher character than the general populace? Sure I think so. But have you been to a Catholic parish? Catholic website comments area? The Vatican? There are sinners everywhere and unfortunately I find here on CatholicMatch and in parishes and other places of a similar nature people can be quicker to judge a person's motivations. Simply because someone said that they experienced dishonest behavior from another person and believed them to be malicious in their intent does not mean one or both of those things are true. Often time online you hear only the side of the person telling the story and not all the parties involved. Be hopeful, but use prudence in all time and places in life.
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Aug 2nd 2013 new
I encourage all to stay with CM, even with the low number of matches or responses in your area. CM is just one way that we should be getting ourselves "out there".
We are all looking for the one special person to complete our lives. Only one. Perfect for us. Who knows when, where and how we will find them. Could be on CM tomorrow or two years from now!

I also have to encourage all to include more then just one head shot picture. Digital cameras are in everyone's pocket today. I am not looking for a "barbie", but i am looking for physical attraction. There are a few woman who I am interested in, but afraid to take the next step to contact. It is too hard for me to say "not interested" after a F2F, so I have passed on at least a half dozen attractive women in my area.


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Aug 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Megan-650240 said: Alright I am going to call the guys out. What does it matter that the women are attractive or not? (not that you aren't, you ladies are lovely!) Would their opinions matter less if they were what you consider to be "unattractive?" A voice is a voice, regardless of the body it comes from.
You are quite correct Megan.
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Aug 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Brian-278516 said: Kevin this is another expectation that I think single Catholics in particular have about CatholicMatch.

" I would truly hope that people using a catholic dating site, were true to their word, but I guess even in the 21st century, we still cannot be honest and truthful with each other."

Is there are a higher percentage of people who are of higher character than the general populace? Sure I think so. But have you been to a Catholic parish? Catholic website comments area? The Vatican? There are sinners everywhere and unfortunately I find here on CatholicMatch and in parishes and other places of a similar nature people can be quicker to judge a person's motivations. Simply because someone said that they experienced dishonest behavior from another person and believed them to be malicious in their intent does not mean one or both of those things are true. Often time online you hear only the side of the person telling the story and not all the parties involved. Be hopeful, but use prudence in all time and places in life.
There are two photo's posted of my son . I do not like posting children's pictures . In The case of him receiving the Ad Altare Dei at age thirteen and the pope Pius award this past may it speaks for itself what type of father i am the values I teach him .
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Aug 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Jim-296170 said: I encourage all to stay with CM, even with the low number of matches or responses in your area. CM is just one way that we should be getting ourselves "out there".
We are all looking for the one special person to complete our lives. Only one. Perfect for us. Who knows when, where and how we will find them. Could be on CM tomorrow or two years from now!

I also have to encourage all to include more then just one head shot picture. Digital cameras are in everyone's pocket today. I am not looking for a "barbie", but i am looking for physical attraction. There are a few woman who I am interested in, but afraid to take the next step to contact. It is too hard for me to say "not interested" after a F2F, so I have passed on at least a half dozen attractive women in my area.


It may be that the reason some people don't want to whip out that camera and take a variety of full body shot photos is because they know that the majoirty of guys here are looking for "slender". "athletic", "physically fit (read:slim)", young ladies who may not be Barbie but pretty close. Putting "a few extra pounds", even if true, seems to be a sure way to get zero responses.

And some of the earlier posts on this thread, requesting more "attractive young" women to respond, and then using the word "attractive" again in the same sentence--well, it's fairly obvious what the main area of interest is.

I did a search today and out of the twenty men that came up, 18 were believers in premarital sex, often while claiming their faith was important to them (except, apparently, for that one "little" thing).

Yet, if you took the chance to actually meet some of these other women, you might find someone you really like. Just because someone might have a few extra pounds, doesn't mean they don't care about fitness, are incapable of enjoying an active life, and aren't actively involved in losing weight. Placing all your eggs in one basket (attractive, slender, young, athletic) keeps you from meeting a lot of women who might be a great match for you. And I know many guys who had "trophy wives" and then traded them in for a younger version when they hit their thirties, despite the desperate efforts they made to compete by having plastic surgery, starvation diets, etc.

Take a chance sometime on some not so perfect ladies. I saw a 55 year old man today who declared he was just about ready to "settle down and start a family" at an age when many men are grandfathers and any child they might have after dating, marriage and immediate pregnancy of the wife would result in a child born in their later fifties who there's a good chance they would not even live to see graduate from high school, much less be able to chase after as a toddler, etc, and they would need a woman about 20 years or more their junior to fulfill such a dream. That seems pretty unlikely.

I don't know.....overall I am just not impressed with CM and the matches.
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Aug 3rd 2013 new
The general sentiment, which I would agree with, is that it's tough. In high school, I never imagined I'd be a bachelor all the way to 35 years of age. But here we are... rolling eyes

I have to admit, I don't know what it's going to take for someone to accept me as one of their potential matches. I work hard and have a pretty good life.
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Aug 3rd 2013 new
I'm discouraged. After several F2Fs with men in my area, they've all decided we didn't "connect" enough, even though we had plenty to talk about and had all the important things in common. It seems to me like the younger men on here want to have a love at first sight experience. If the chemistry isn't there right away, I'm rejected. I'm an introvert. I'm not going to be 100% myself on a first F2F. It might take two or three for you to get an idea of the whole picture, but I doubt anyone can make an accurate judgement from one short F2F, unless you pick up on some major issues and such.

I always message men back, no matter how far away they are or how little they have in their profiles. Just because my quick judgement of someone doesn't equal a "YES! We can definitely connect well!" doesn't mean that over time we can't forge a connection. I don't think many people on here have the same attitude.

It seems like we're all TOO focused on marriage. We need to be for the most part, I feel like guys try to figure out "Hm...could I marry Sarah right now with what I know about her right now?" The answer is always no, because you can't find out everything about a person in just one meeting.

I feel like an alien in the forums because I am young. I feel like people are going to say "Awh, you're so young! You have lots of time!" Which is why I held off on joining this site in the first place. Younger folks and older folks have a lot of the same issues with relationships, but there's a lot that's different. We have 45 and under and 45 and older subforums, but I think we need a 35 and under one rather than 45 and under. My parents still fit in the 45 and under category!
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Aug 3rd 2013 new
Aly, thanks for your open, honest, and vulnerable question. I hear you're in need of encouragement, love, acceptance, faith, trust, and courage because you are feeling scared, judged and discouraged.

There are moments when I do feel this and other painful feelings and emotions. They usually begin with a thought, i.e. "I'm never going to find any one." I have to remind myself of 1. I am neither my thoughts nor emotions. I acknowledge them, like a person walking by on the street, or a boat moving down river, and move on. In other words, I neither cling too nor reject the thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Being several years older, I've come to realize how we're programmed by our family, culture, and society, i.e. film/media, that in order to "be happy and/or complete" we must be "have somebody" such as in a romantic relationship and/or marriage. I am also learning I am complete and whole as I am, and that happiness is not outside of me and/or in the future. In other words, happiness in an inside job.

Finally, one of my daily prayers is to "let go, Trust God, and let Him unfold everything" which requires faith, trust, and courage.

Peace and Good
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Aug 4th 2013 new
Hi Aly,

Been reading the responses on this topic, and well, different people have different takes on this. :) I for one, got a bit discouraged. I have been a member (nonpaying) for at least 6 years now, I guess. But it was only late last year, that I started subscribing/paying so I can use everything this site could offer. It was only a few months ago when I started really getting active and trying to be the "first" to converse with people on here. For about 5 men I start a conversation with, 0-1 replies. Maybe, because of the distance. Most of those who are here, paying subscribers, are from the US, Europe, Canada, so I cannot really blame them. :)

I really do not know why I keep on coming back. I guess, it is the story of a couple I personally know who met here. Or maybe the other stories I read on here. But yes, I am hopeful. I still am very very hopeful that I will find good natured people here. I could spend my money here or not spend at all and take my chances elsewhere where it is not safe as well. :)

So yes, good luck to us Aly! :) God Bless!
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Aug 4th 2013 new
(quote) Sarah-987383 said: I'm discouraged. After several F2Fs with men in my area, they've all decided we didn't "connect" enough, even though we had plenty to talk about and had all the important things in common. It seems to me like the younger men on here want to have a love at first sight experience. If the chemistry isn't there right away, I'm rejected. I'm an introvert. I'm not going to be 100% myself on a first F2F. It might take two or three for you to get an idea of the whole picture, but I doubt anyone can make an accurate judgement from one short F2F, unless you pick up on some major issues and such.

I always message men back, no matter how far away they are or how little they have in their profiles. Just because my quick judgement of someone doesn't equal a "YES! We can definitely connect well!" doesn't mean that over time we can't forge a connection. I don't think many people on here have the same attitude.

It seems like we're all TOO focused on marriage. We need to be for the most part, I feel like guys try to figure out "Hm...could I marry Sarah right now with what I know about her right now?" The answer is always no, because you can't find out everything about a person in just one meeting.

I feel like an alien in the forums because I am young. I feel like people are going to say "Awh, you're so young! You have lots of time!" Which is why I held off on joining this site in the first place. Younger folks and older folks have a lot of the same issues with relationships, but there's a lot that's different. We have 45 and under and 45 and older subforums, but I think we need a 35 and under one rather than 45 and under. My parents still fit in the 45 and under category!
Ah, Sarah, he is looking for his "soul mate". Blame it on men viewing too many photo shopped images of women on the internet scratchchin and fantasizing about their dream girl . They are expecting you to appear with long flowing hair, an angelic smile, and body features of a Barbie doll,. It does not matter that you have plenty to talk about and all of the important things in common. You don't even need to open your mouth. As long as you smile that angelic smile, nod every time he says something, laugh at his stupid jokes, and tell him how big, strong, intelligent & handsome he is, he will be smitten with you and follow you everywhere you go. You won't be able to get rid of him.
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