My husband died suddenly 13 years ago Saturday. Today was my birthday. The tough part was that we were married only 10 months, so I spent my 46th birthday at the funeral home. Today was also the wedding anniversary of some close friends. They renewed their vows at the chapel where they got married and there was a picnic afterwards. At the mass that day my husbands name was in the prayers, because it was "his anniversary" of leaving for heaven. They were all whispering "happy Birthday" to me across the church. It was good to be with them today/ My birthday has never really been the same, and since we were married less than a year, I never had an anniversary!
HOWEVER, at the beginning of that first year, when he hung up the calendars for the new year around the house, he promised me he would never forget our anniversary. He lifted the page to October, and showed me that he had pasted flowers around the date, 10/16. I forgot it was there, till I came to that month. Then it haunted me. I kept seeing him standing in the kitchen with a bouquet of flowers from the supermarket, that he often bought home. On the morning of my anniversary I actually went out to the kitchen first thing in the morning to make sure there wasn't a vase of flowers there, just to prove I wasn't going crazy. Later that morning however, a vase with 10 red roses, one for each month we had together, appeared on my front porch, with a card that read "love forever, Bob's messenger service". One of my sisters, living in another state, "saw" the flowers on her way home from work the day before and had to send them. The marriage contract may end with death, but the love remains. Just after my husband died I almost didn't want to go to heaven, because I was so happy with him, and I knew it would not be the same. It took a long time to heal, and believe that heaven will make up for everything we missed, and we can carry on here.