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Saint Valentine is patron saint of love, young people, and happy marriages.
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Aug 15th 2013 new
I wouldn't want anyone to dictate who I can be friends with, red flag. Old girlfriends are one thing but childhood, work, churchgoers....nope.
Aug 15th 2013 new
This is a very interesting question, The way it was asked makes it difficult to answer. Does she really want you to contact each of these ladies and say, "Goodbye?" Or does she not want you to spend time with them "solo" or talk with them on the phone or send them Christmas cards or go out to lunch with them even if it is a group from work or church. I think this is a request that requires clarification. I dated a young lady (before I married my late wife) who had male friends that I felt acted too familiar. In order for our relationship to progress I needed her to sever relationships with those fellows. I did not make the same demand on my late wife because none of the men she knew presented a problem (in my mind). My late wife trusted me completely with other women in part because I had established some boundaries for her and I while dating and in part because she knew I maintained a "distance" from other ladies.

It may also be worthwhile to clearly understand what may presently be bothering her now (if anything) and what she is worried about.


Aug 15th 2013 new
Hey Joe,

Your new love may be missing out on some possible great new friends. Especially if they are a reflection of you. It sounds like a trust, and possibly, a control issue. Best wishes to the two of you. God bless.
biggrin Praying

Aug 16th 2013 new
(quote) John-971967 said: Possibly, but not necessarily always true. Some have full knowledge, see no threat to the relationship and continue to trust the man to keep it that way.

As a relationship develops exclusively between a man and a woman, there needs to be a full unfolding of each individual's life to the other. It is up to each to decide how to proceed (hopefully with God, front and center).
True. This topic tends to strike a nerve for me. I was in a situation in my mid 20s where I was seeing a guy who had plenty of friends (both genders). He was a likable guy but not exactly a "hunk." His friendship with one female in particular made me feel uncomfortable. He actually asked this female friend to ask me if I wanted to date him or just be friends with him after we went out twice. (He didn't have the nerve to ask me himself). She proceeded to say that they were friends and tell each other things. eyepopping She also said that he was hurt in the past and would go out of his way if I wanted to date him. I felt they were too involved in each other's personal lives and he just seemed to be "enchanted" by her for lack of a better word.

This friend was attractive, had a bit of a reputation with the guys, dated married men and would have a fit if a female tried to interfere in one of her affairs. Yet he would always defend her. Needless to say, things did not work out.
Aug 17th 2013 new
I would say, think long and hard about this being the woman you want to settle down with. She must accept you for you. The first and most important quality of any relationship is trust. She does not sound like she is secure with her role in your life.
Aug 17th 2013 new
Joe, I have to agree with Gene. If she gets upset now and you are not married, what is she going to do when you are married and you have co-workers as friends. She should accept your friends just as you accept all of hers. Love is a 2-way street.
Aug 17th 2013 new
I think Bob has some good points. 'Relationship' can mean many different things. I had 2 co-workers, 50'ish man and 30 something woman who had a very close friendship. They ran races together, shared meals at work daily, confided in each other about most aspects of life. Both are married and while I never saw anything that indicated an intimate affair, they definitely leaned toward each other for support and entertainment, when perhaps they should have been leaning on their respective spouses. Emotions that made their friendship closer could have been redirected to make their marriages closer.

As with anything, perhaps a closer examination of the relationships involved is necessary to decide what is beneficial to the marriage, and what may detract.
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