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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Aug 22nd 2013 new
Oops! Trish, I was not directing that last remark at you specifically. It is a general statement that applies to all of us.
Aug 22nd 2013 new
John -
It's all about attitude. If you come into this Site expecting to meet someone you will. Prayers help a lot.
If you are skeptical and impatient it won't happen. At first, I thought I would never meet someone here.
I realize that this is just one of many tools we have to meet someone. Like I said before, it takes a lot
of patience and the ability to not take things too personally. Where else are so many wonderful Catholic Men and Women gathered in one place?
Aug 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: Better than in a bar, etc.? Probably. But it's still a far cry from a safe bet (for men or women)

If men and women are seeking safety and comfortable within Christianity, especially Catholicism, then they are looking in the wrong place. Following Christ is anything but cushy and without pain. Men and women who are striving to be saints in the Kingdom of God have to be of a tougher constitution.
Aug 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Dawn-58330 said: If men and women are seeking safety and comfortable within Christianity, especially Catholicism, then they are looking in the wrong place. Following Christ is anything but cushy and without pain. Men and women who are striving to be saints in the Kingdom of God have to be of a tougher constitution.
yup............the forums are the best and i am learning lots
Aug 22nd 2013 new
I would caution people not to make a judgement by membership number. Once you join, it remains with you. For myself, I had found a nice gentleman here and after a year, the relationship evolved to a friendship. Hence of why I reopened my profile.

I truly hope I am not being judged by a two dimensional tool. There is just no way you can know anyone by such a brief caption of themselves.

Ultimately, I believe it is what you are willing to put into the search.
Aug 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: Richard, because it is the men who are preventing the connection by making requirements of the women. And yes we are all losing out because the men insist on the fantasy of a "perfect wife" (who "snaps back after having babies" really?)
And many women are vain about a man's height, bank account, etc. This ceaseless pity party/rant against men of yours became tiresome long ago. There is little left of the horse to beat. If you look for the worst in men I guarantee you will continue to find it.
Aug 22nd 2013 new
I've never understood the games of courtship. When I see a man's profile that looks interesting to me, whether he's a "match" or not, or whether he meets my criteria or not, I send him a message! It's no harm to anyone. If he answers, great, we could become friends or lovers. If not, so what? Not every man on the street who is desirable to me finds me desirable in return - and that's completely ok.

I haven't had the experience of very few men writing back. Most respond politely, even if it's with only a thanks for looking at their profile.

To be honest, I wouldn't really want the kind of man that's put off by a woman reaching out first. Yeah, I like strong men who can take charge - and often do - but hopefully they're intelligent enough to realize that an emote is just an emote! wink
Aug 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said: Everyone is entitled to their perceptions and their opinions, I am not trying to contradict or argue with anyone. However, I would like to respond to a couple of items. I do not work for CM. I am a member of CM, and have Moderator duties.

I have been on here for a while, and sometimes the disrespectful behaviours do flare up, and I am not entirely sure what causes it - a mix of personality conflicts, add some sleep-deprived cranky folks, frustration from others, and things blow up. There is only so much that Moderators can do, as people are expected to be old enough to know better in most cases. If Moderators do step in, they get criticized too. It's sort of like the police officer on a street corner when a fight breaks out who takes criticism for not doing enough. What are people doing on the street corner fighting anyway? As for disrespectful behavior online, just go read some of the comments youtube or any site that has celebrity news. People say just about anything hiding behind their keyboard.

I didn't join CM to be a Moderator, I joined CM to find a spouse. I haven't found one. Why am here? Have you seen some of the secular dating sites? I also have had a hard time connecting with other Catholics living in a city where I did not grow up. At least on here, people know that today is a feast day. Have a pleasant evening everyone.
wave Hi Angela! It's good to see you in the Moderator role. You are perfect for it. You express yourself well, know your way around these forums, and have the right attitude. biggrin

Over my years here I have seen so many discussions similar to this one. (There's not much new under the sun here either-- the same topics tend to come up. I can be kind of comical, and sometimes it is very frustrating.) I try to remind myself that while this may be the 100th time I've seen the discussion there are new voices here that haven't. I need to remember that I may feel like I am repeating myself but the people reading it may not have seen my views before. Sometimes I forget that most of the people in the forums do not know me (there was a time when most knew me pretty well.)

If you are somewhat new to CM (or to the forums), there is a whole world of Catholic singles out there to meet. People do meet, fall in love, and get married from this site-- and even from the forums. Two weekends ago the CM forum community celebrated at least eight members getting married (in one weekend). My Facebook feed was full of well wishes for these couples and "Happy Anniversary" wishes for those who were married in Augusts past. This week I've been seeing CM success stories send off their first children to school. It's a beautiful site to see these happy marriages! The only way it is going to happen for those of us still single is if we meet others. Get out there! Participate, don't anticipate!

How? Pray! Be an active petitioner for your spouse, your future and the spouses of other CMmers! You can do this by spending time in the Prayer Forum (BTW, there have been couples who met there!) You can join in on the weekly Sunday or Tuesday rosary teleconference phone call. (Message me if you need details, but check the thread in the Prayer Forum.) Spend some time in the chat rooms. Take people's interviews. Ask questions. Engage in conversations! Finally, go the events! (Or create your own!!) The CM Indy Crew just launched the event page for the Annual Camp Out in Oct! We'd love to see new members come, as well as meet up with our known dear friends! We have the best time!! (You never know who you might meet! I met my last boyfriend at last year's Camp out. While we are no longer together, I still think it was the perfect setting for a budding romance. Maybe I have the right event, just the wrong man.:scratchingchin:)

So, let's do less hemming and hawing about the things that aren't working, and do something that is. K? hugPraying
Aug 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Adam-399324 said: Selection bias: Women, even if dissatisfied, will stay for the chit chat. Men just leave. If a man even ventures into the forums, it's probably an indication he's a fairly dedicated CMer.

If you need any proof of this, at one point, you could see how many threads and messages were posted in the men's and women's forums. The women's room had six times more of each.
There may be some truth to that, but the bigger truth is that, in general, women use language WAY more than men. That's why there are more threads by women. Verbal and written communication is also valued differently by men and women. Women bond through it more naturally and crave it, I think. (I know I do,) Men tend to place a higher value on physical communication, than verbal-written communication.
Aug 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Adam-399324 said: Women wonder why men don't write (and, I assume, oh so few do) / why men don't ask them out / why men don't ask them out again.

Men wonder why women don't respond (and, I can certainly attest, oh so, so, so few do) / why they don't agree to go out / why they don't agree to go out again.

Everyone wonders why everyone else poofs.

I simply have a hard time believing this litany of woes adds up to a more favored position for either gender. This is simply an irascibly tough business for everyone.
Amen! Complaining isn't attractive and doesn't help us to gain ground.
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