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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Aug 24th 2013 new
(quote) Lynea-297530 said: I just jumped on the "I don't like the direction of this" and "let me bash you for bashing" bandwagon.
Then Donna had to come in and make sense. Which, by the way, was a very nice response. Thank you for sharing, Donna!
I mean, both Donnas. Donna to the power of 2.
Aug 24th 2013 new
(quote) Donna-83441 said: A while back I stopped searching.. I preferred instead to concentrate on my role as a moderator and forum poster and to keep up with my friendships I had already developed via FB... I am in daily communication with friends who met their spouses on CM.. I stopped initiating views on profiles through the search option and would only occasionally view a profile if they looked interesting from my Mutual Matches list or had a picture on my home page. What I did not do, however, was give up being open to anyone that might come onto my radar. When Larry popped up in my Mutual Matches, I viewed his profile.. He, in return, viewed me.. I sent him an emote not really expecting a reply. But he did reply back and that, as they say, is history.. My advice would be, instead of being the assertive one, take a step back and just be open to what happens.


So that's how it works. You say 'the heck with it' and there they are.
Aug 24th 2013 new
(quote) Chris-906154 said: So that's how it works. You say 'the heck with it' and there they are.
Yes, that is what we have been trying to say all along. That is exactly how it works.
Aug 24th 2013 new
(quote) Donna-1001468 said: One more thing I want to add: As for "friends" I really think that is not being totally honest with our intentions. Speaking for myself, I have a ton of friends and did not join a DATING site to meet more. I am not here to make another buddy. Following that logic, when you reach out to a man on the pretext of "friendship" do you think it possible that he loses interest in you immediately as he is here to seek and find a girlfriend?
Holy cow! I am not sure how this thread turned from my original post to an argument over male/female bashing. Wow.

Anyway...to address the above: I am very shy and awkward. And, my experience with men is negligible. I find it very hard to talk to men, approach them, even say "Hi!" It has been suggested to me numerous times to "practice" when it comes to talking to men. Talk to men I am not necessarily attracted to, men that I see on a regular basis, just any guy I can, just to get used to actually being in the presence of males. I figured I would apply the same theory to online sites as well. Just message as many guys as I can, just to get into the rhythm of being comfortable enough to contact and converse with men. If a friendship results from it, great! If something more, even better! But, I guess I view it more as a "get to know as many people as possible" experiment, whether for friendship or whatever. My intentions are as simple as that.

No male bashing here, but just an observation:

In my experience on this site, I feel like women are a bit more open minded to exploring possibilities. Not ALL women, mind you, but the ones I've talked to seem to have sort of a "Come to Jesus" moment when they realize, maybe The One isn't as good looking as they thought he would be or as successful as they thought he would be. Maybe he lives much further away than they would prefer, or he has kids, and they swore they would never entertain the thought of a man with children. So, they broaden their horizons, and accept what comes and give people a chance they may not normally. Again, I am not saying it is like this for all women, but I think a lot of us have reached that point.

I think men are much more singular in their approach. They are pretty locked into a specific type. Not necessarily ONE type overall, but whatever that particular man's type is...for one, it might be tall, blonde, and outgoing, for another perhaps short and nerdy...whatever their type is, they don't seem as keen to deviate from it, in exploration of more possibilities. I think for those of us who have broadened their search for a long-term mate, perhaps lowered standards....it can be incredibly frustrated to see such narrowness. But, it is their lives, not ours.

I guess my OP just spoke to my opinion of CM and life in general...at what point do we give up? Do we hold out hope forever? Or, is it kinder to our heart to throw in the towel at some point?
Aug 24th 2013 new
This is very true and hopefully not that rare here on CM. I am holding fast to this truth. It is not easy being a faith filled women in our world. To live , breath and demonstrate this way of living is challenging but for me where I personally feel more true to myself and to my beliefs.
Aug 24th 2013 new
(quote) Donna-1001468 said: Yes, that is what we have been trying to say all along. That is exactly how it works.
Oooh, I'm just kidding.

And I'm sorry you had a tough time here, Melissa. Real-life introverts can have a tough time in the courtship world...
Aug 24th 2013 new
I am replying to Donna a little while ago. Please stay on topic. angel
Aug 24th 2013 new
(quote) Melissa-537851 said: Holy cow! I am not sure how this thread turned from my original post to an argument over male/female bashing. Wow.

Anyway...to address the above: I am very shy and awkward. And, my experience with men is negligible. I find it very hard to talk to men, approach them, even say "Hi!" It has been suggested to me numerous times to "practice" when it comes to talking to men. Talk to men I am not necessarily attracted to, men that I see on a regular basis, just any guy I can, just to get used to actually being in the presence of males. I figured I would apply the same theory to online sites as well. Just message as many guys as I can, just to get into the rhythm of being comfortable enough to contact and converse with men. If a friendship results from it, great! If something more, even better! But, I guess I view it more as a "get to know as many people as possible" experiment, whether for friendship or whatever. My intentions are as simple as that.

No male bashing here, but just an observation:

In my experience on this site, I feel like women are a bit more open minded to exploring possibilities. Not ALL women, mind you, but the ones I've talked to seem to have sort of a "Come to Jesus" moment when they realize, maybe The One isn't as good looking as they thought he would be or as successful as they thought he would be. Maybe he lives much further away than they would prefer, or he has kids, and they swore they would never entertain the thought of a man with children. So, they broaden their horizons, and accept what comes and give people a chance they may not normally. Again, I am not saying it is like this for all women, but I think a lot of us have reached that point.

I think men are much more singular in their approach. They are pretty locked into a specific type. Not necessarily ONE type overall, but whatever that particular man's type is...for one, it might be tall, blonde, and outgoing, for another perhaps short and nerdy...whatever their type is, they don't seem as keen to deviate from it, in exploration of more possibilities. I think for those of us who have broadened their search for a long-term mate, perhaps lowered standards....it can be incredibly frustrated to see such narrowness. But, it is their lives, not ours.

I guess my OP just spoke to my opinion of CM and life in general...at what point do we give up? Do we hold out hope forever? Or, is it kinder to our heart to throw in the towel at some point?
Thank you for reclaiming your post. ~ Donna
Aug 24th 2013 new
(quote) Barbara-605462 said: Tom,
How did you become so wise at such a young age? If my nieces weren't currently dating I would be sending them your way.
I know! Isn't he adorable?

Intelligent, stunning eyes, an interesting accent....can you say, yes please!?

Of course he is a little young and a little far away....but a girl can dream.
Aug 24th 2013 new

Lynea, meet Chris.

Chris, meet Lynea.

biggrin

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