(quote) Melissa-537851 said: Holy cow! I am not sure how this thread turned from my original post to an argument over male/female bashing. Wow.
Anyway...to address the above: I am very shy and awkward. And, my experience with men is negligible. I find it very hard to talk to men, approach them, even say "Hi!" It has been suggested to me numerous times to "practice" when it comes to talking to men. Talk to men I am not necessarily attracted to, men that I see on a regular basis, just any guy I can, just to get used to actually being in the presence of males. I figured I would apply the same theory to online sites as well. Just message as many guys as I can, just to get into the rhythm of being comfortable enough to contact and converse with men. If a friendship results from it, great! If something more, even better! But, I guess I view it more as a "get to know as many people as possible" experiment, whether for friendship or whatever. My intentions are as simple as that.
No male bashing here, but just an observation:
In my experience on this site, I feel like women are a bit more open minded to exploring possibilities. Not ALL women, mind you, but the ones I've talked to seem to have sort of a "Come to Jesus" moment when they realize, maybe The One isn't as good looking as they thought he would be or as successful as they thought he would be. Maybe he lives much further away than they would prefer, or he has kids, and they swore they would never entertain the thought of a man with children. So, they broaden their horizons, and accept what comes and give people a chance they may not normally. Again, I am not saying it is like this for all women, but I think a lot of us have reached that point.
I think men are much more singular in their approach. They are pretty locked into a specific type. Not necessarily ONE type overall, but whatever that particular man's type is...for one, it might be tall, blonde, and outgoing, for another perhaps short and nerdy...whatever their type is, they don't seem as keen to deviate from it, in exploration of more possibilities. I think for those of us who have broadened their search for a long-term mate, perhaps lowered standards....it can be incredibly frustrated to see such narrowness. But, it is their lives, not ours.
I guess my OP just spoke to my opinion of CM and life in general...at what point do we give up? Do we hold out hope forever? Or, is it kinder to our heart to throw in the towel at some point?
Sometimes the threads here on CM remind me of the game "telephone" that they'd have us play in Sunday School when I was little. I used to hate that game, so much so I would beg my parents to let me attend Mass with the adults to avoid having to play it, since I could never pass the message on correctly to the next person. It wasn't until I was older that I realized that was the whole point!! In any case, isn't if funny how messages can somehow get twisted around, "lost in translation as it were"???