My only knowledge of His plan is what I experience on a daily basis in my life. I do have options and choices. I cannot and do not compare myself to others who are married or in a relationship. We all walk our own journey on this earth.
Would I like to be in a relationship or married? Yes. That's why I'm on CM. I do not shut any doors and I seek out companionship and friendship with women. If a more intense relationship develops....wonderful.
I can appreciate the longing and yearning for marriage. I have been there. I also feel that in my life there are God-given opportunities: service, friendship, family, etc. I want to participate in life fully and anytime spent in wondering about my marital status(or lack thereof) keeps me from enjoying the journey of life.
There's a lot of living left to do....God willing.
Please don't worry about your weight. I used to be 98 lbs. soaking wet when my doctor put me on medications which ballooned my weight to 180. The weight is coming off thank God with the gym and diet but it can be hard on the self esteem I know. I just knew that folks in my church that knew me well were wondering what happened but they also know I was having health issues. I share your concern that maybe someone will not like me because of my weight and think maybe because I am a little heavy that I don't take care of myself and think I sit around eating bon bons every day. If someone thinks that way and doesn't want to find out the story, oh well. Our Prince Charmings will love us no matter the size and as long as my family, friends and God who made me loves me, its enough for me.
Being single has rewards that we can give and share wisdom from loss of our lifetime partner or children which is Love. This, Christ love, can continue to grow and share to our new love which begins within us transformation Christ gave us. :rose: