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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Sep 15th 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-860764 said: Are we supposed to wear burkas?
There is a wide difference between a bikini and a burka -- we all know it and no one should just want to pretend there are only the extremes and no sure middle ground.
No one 'causes' another to lust -- that is their own choice in deciding to give in to a tempting sin, but just like the owner of a swimming pool must surround his pool with a sturdy appropriately high fence to not be a irresistible danger to young children,or however they phrase it, we ought to clothe our bodies sufficiently to not make it hard to resist lusting for those who desire not to. Like the pool owner limiting access only to those supposed to be in the pool, we are to make it difficult for those not married to us to get at/see what ought to be kept only for them in mutual giving.
Sep 15th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: There is a wide difference between a bikini and a burka -- we all know it and no one should just want to pretend there are only the extremes and no sure middle ground.
No one 'causes' another to lust -- that is their own choice in deciding to give in to a tempting sin, but just like the owner of a swimming pool must surround his pool with a sturdy appropriately high fence to not be a irresistible danger to young children,or however they phrase it, we ought to clothe our bodies sufficiently to not make it hard to resist lusting for those who desire not to. Like the pool owner limiting access only to those supposed to be in the pool, we are to make it difficult for those not married to us to get at/see what ought to be kept only for them in mutual giving.
Rachel, very well said. Thank you very much!!
Sep 15th 2013 new
Hi Rachel thank you.

Say if my daughter is dressing in something I consider inappropriate but, most everything else she does in life is good. Do I pick that as a battle or do I hope by doing all the other good stuff she will one day realize that she needs to change in that area too?
Sep 16th 2013 new
(quote) Tom-975374 said: If any man commented about modesty would he get a reasonable reaction or get a never-ending amount of abuse? Even if it weren't personal but a more general thread the reaction would be the same.

"Keep your perverted eyes to yourself, it's what's in your heart not my dress!"
"Jesus loves me no matter how I dress you chauvinistic pig!"
"I feel so sorry for your wife one day"

Fraternal correction can only be made when the fault is grave (and I think many pictures here fall into that category), when you are in the correct relationship with that person (i.e. a friend, a relative, a priest) and when there is some hope of the correction being followed (and for many misinformed Catholics, their consciences are too poorly formed to properly understand why modesty is important, so you'd have to start from scratch with the basics of virtue than dive right in).

As for me, when I see an immodest picture I admittedly make a 'tut tut' noise as a knee-jerk reaction, say a quick prayer for the gal and move on.

It's not just what someone wears that counts as immodest, it's how you compose yourself and how you wear your clothes. Sometimes the clothes are just about appropriate but the poses aren't. Anyway, as a trad even a lot of Catholics think our modesty standards are too much (I argue otherwise of course!).

And for the record, men should be modest too in their clothing and presentation and conduct.

Also, if you look in old manuals of prayer and living a holy life (I'm talking ones that are 70+ years old) modesty was something that you also practiced when alone - out of respect for your guardian angel and God's omnipresence.

Pax +
Bow clapBow

So wise for one so young. Thank you, Tom.

(I am not as traditional as you, but I do agree wholeheartedly with the first part of your post.)

Sep 16th 2013 new
(quote) Lucy-41785 said: Sigh. :( This post does nothing good, in my opinion.

A. It's so general. Who are you talking to Joan? Most likely people that aren't even reading this. And if they are, we won't know. Communicate directly with them in a private message. Stop telling CM at large through the forums.

B. It doesn't really matter if a person has photos in summer clothing or fall fashions. The whole point of photos is so the person gets a hint of an idea of what the person might look like in person. Summer or fall, the effect is the same.

C. Once again, CM men are painted with a broad (and NEGATIVE) brush. How do you know that no men have made this observation and suggestion? Perhaps they chose to do it privately. If they did it publicly, does that make the situation better? I think not.

hughug My Lucy gal, I'm with ya. We've come a long way, baby, have we? And yet not at all. Ce la vie.
Sep 16th 2013 new
(quote) David-364112 said: Let her make her own mistakes. She'll see what sort of man that photo attracts. Hardly the marrying type, I suspect.
Gee, I would sure hope that the people on here show more love than this. It is not loving to let someone walk in life in a way that will bring them pain and suffering.
Sep 16th 2013 new
(quote) Rizavilla-990068 said:

i remember one of my pics here rejected by the site .. for them it was revealing.. am just in a swimming pool wearing black sleeveless and shorts (no guts to wear bikini's and two piece). i asked my officemate what's wrong with the pic, she just answered 'wet look' ... I respect the sites decision to remove it, now i understand why most men (other dating sites) like that picture.why i got invites on cam... One way of reminding me that i deserve to be respected not just in pictures but as person too...
Rizavilla, you just pointed out precisely the benefit of someone kindly pointing out something. Often we do not value ourselves to the degree that we ought. This is especially true for many women. Many women do not know that they are being degraded and objectified because they are used to it. Once it is pointed out kindly, we can then strive for setting the expectation of being respected in pictures and person as a daughter of the King. And we have to learn to do that for ourselves before we can teach others to do it for us.

God bless you, dear lady. rose
Sep 16th 2013 new


thanks Dawn... God bless you, too... biggrin
Sep 16th 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-860764 said: Hi Rachel thank you.

Say if my daughter is dressing in something I consider inappropriate but, most everything else she does in life is good. Do I pick that as a battle or do I hope by doing all the other good stuff she will one day realize that she needs to change in that area too?
I have four daughters -- we discuss modesty, chastity, sin, lust, etc and yes I make the rules and enforce them. It can be tough, but my daughters' souls are worth it. They understand why any outfit I reject is rejected and are willing to dress attractively yet modestly. It's a battle against sin, not my daughters.
Sep 16th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said:  but just like the owner of a swimming pool must surround his pool with a sturdy appropriately high fence to not be a irresistible danger to young children,or however they phrase it, we ought to clothe our bodies sufficiently to not make it hard to resist lusting for those who desire not to. Like the pool owner limiting access only to those supposed to be in the pool, we are to make it difficult for those not married to us to get at/see what ought to be kept only for them in mutual giving.
very good Analogy Rachel. I could be mistaken..but i believe there is a few sentences in the Bible where it says, not only are we responsible for our own Sin, but responsible also if we cause another person to Sin. scratchchin Praying
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