(quote) Katie-1010240 said: Hi! I'm new to this site, so I wanted to ask everyone what you thought about the following...
A priest friend of mine, who suggested I join the site, told me that I (as a woman) should never write first to a CM guy I'm interested in; I should always let him reach out first and begin conversations. Fr's thought process is the same as mine -- men are created to pursue, women are created to be pursued. I certainly don't want to appear forward, so I haven't reached out to anyone who hasn't reached out to me first.
Still, Fr. has never seen the site format, so he doesn't really know how Catholic Match is set up -- the interview questions, etc. I guess what I'm wondering is if it's fine to fill out a guy's interview questions if you're interested in him? Is it ok to send him a kind message, commenting on something in his profile? Or is that too forward?
Welcome, Katie!! I think you will receive many responses on both sides of this question.
As one who has recently started a relationship with a woman I met here, after she made initial contact, I can only say that I believe a woman SHOULD make the first contact if she feels strongly about someone. There are so many great people here, but THE ONE may not be appearing in a fellow's search results for one reason or another. I never would have found this person, who has a lot of things in common with me and is turning into a great friend and blessing to me (as a new Catholic), on my own searching. She is out of state, and I was limiting my search to FL only.
Turns out, she is originally from the parish in FL where I became Catholic. She searched guys in her hometown here in FL, and found me. She contacted me after reading my profile and recognizing the background in one of my photos as being from her home church. I never would have searched for someone in the state where she resides. :-)
After her initial contact, I chose to pursue. :-) And I'm still pursuing. :-) :-)
So...my thought is, send messages to the most special few guys you find. Use the forums so that people can see into your personality a bit. This place is a community...for better or for worse...but active use of the forums is a blessing and provides many opportunities to grow and learn.
Welcome to the site!