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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
Learn More: Saint Rita

Oct 10th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: That's a very interesting thought. Why would that be?
Very young converts ( young in that they are new converts) can be very enthusiastic and very much taught wrong. There are people out there that want to be " yoked" with someone similar. Doesn't make it right or wrong. New coverts can and are a mixed bag. And I speak from experience having converted in 1981 myself.
Oct 10th 2013 new
(quote) Tim-734178 said: Very young converts ( young in that they are new converts) can be very enthusiastic and very much taught wrong. There are people out there that want to be " yoked" with someone similar. Doesn't make it right or wrong. New coverts can and are a mixed bag. And I speak from experience having converted in 1981 myself.
worth thinking about imho.............our rcia program is alive and well
in my parish and folks obviously come from a variety of backgrounds
Oct 10th 2013 new
(quote) Tim-734178 said: Very young converts ( young in that they are new converts) can be very enthusiastic and very much taught wrong. There are people out there that want to be " yoked" with someone similar. Doesn't make it right or wrong. New coverts can and are a mixed bag. And I speak from experience having converted in 1981 myself.
What you're saying is true, so I'm not disagreeing. I understand the fear that people could have about converts.

Countless cradle Catholics have strayed from the faith as well. Sometimes for a relatively short time (months, years), but sometimes forever. I've read quite a few honest accounts of just such behavior from cradle Catholics in my time on CM. I figure you know this too, but I'm just pointing it out anyway. :)

In the end, this is a risk we take with anyone. Not just converts, but anyone. Two cradle Catholics could marry, but one could eventually lose their faith. The best we can do is find an upstanding person of great character.
Oct 10th 2013 new
(quote) Meredith-364940 said: What you're saying is true, so I'm not disagreeing. I understand the fear that people could have about converts.

Countless cradle Catholics have strayed from the faith as well. Sometimes for a relatively short time (months, years), but sometimes forever. I've read quite a few honest accounts of just such behavior from cradle Catholics in my time on CM. I figure you know this too, but I'm just pointing it out anyway. :)

In the end, this is a risk we take with anyone. Not just converts, but anyone. Two cradle Catholics could marry, but one could eventually lose their faith. The best we can do is find an upstanding person of great character.
You are most correct. Much better to try and Understand where the other is at than to make assumptions. We have all met/ know Catholics that have held heretical views. In many cases they didnt even know. So don't leave them in ignorance. Give them a chance Our Blessed Lord would and would want us to do the same.
Oct 11th 2013 new
(quote) Meredith-364940 said: What you're saying is true, so I'm not disagreeing. I understand the fear that people could have about converts.

Countless cradle Catholics have strayed from the faith as well. Sometimes for a relatively short time (months, years), but sometimes forever. I've read quite a few honest accounts of just such behavior from cradle Catholics in my time on CM. I figure you know this too, but I'm just pointing it out anyway. :)

In the end, this is a risk we take with anyone. Not just converts, but anyone. Two cradle Catholics could marry, but one could eventually lose their faith. The best we can do is find an upstanding person of great character.
I couldn't agree more! I'm a cradle Catholic myself and while going through some of these profiles I was literally scratching my head wondering why these men couldn't just stick to POF/match.com etc since it was obvious that religion played a VERY minor role in their life. I understand a spouse can help bring them closer to God but their profiles lacked substance. ashamed
Oct 11th 2013 new
(quote) Giselle-960797 said: I couldn't agree more! I'm a cradle Catholic myself and while going through some of these profiles I was literally scratching my head wondering why these men couldn't just stick to POF/match.com etc since it was obvious that religion played a VERY minor role in their life. I understand a spouse can help bring them closer to God but their profiles lacked substance.
I try very faithfully to see these profiles for what they are
...................and people having way more substance and
value................but the faith scale out of 7 is always
a good gauge for me
Oct 12th 2013 new
(quote) Francis-666100 said: A little understanding from a man who has dealt with raising a child of another man.

When I was 25 I met a young woman who had a child from a previous relationship. I welcomed her and her son into my home after the marriage her husband left her with nothing. I took her in because she had been my friend prior and I did not want her to be left on the street, I treated her son as my own. As the relationship progressed I began to care for both of them to such a degree that I thought I would need to adopt her 2 year old because in my heart he was my son. I developed a deep love with him.

One night she told me after work that or relationship was not working and she wanted to call it off. I found that while I missed her after the breakup I really missed her son. In many ways I felt like a father who was no longer able to see his child. The feeling of having my heart broken by the loss of my relationship with him has caused me to tread carefully. I find it difficult now to date most woman with children because in my heart it is difficult to face the fact that one relationship may end. The thought of having another family fall apart keeps me from perhaps walking that road again.

As single parents both men and woman have to take into consideration not on;y the effects of their own relationship with the other person but also the effects of their children's relationship with the other person as well.

I wish you all the best in finding husbands and wives.


Wow, sorry that happened to you. You're a great guy and I'll pray you find someone to make you happy.
Oct 12th 2013 new
Reading your thoughts about this made me understand better of the situation i face .Thank you for sharing .I admit that i sometimes forget the other aspect of this search.
Oct 13th 2013 new
as a mother/widow with many children ...the almost 5 years since his death....well that took me from 50 something to 61... coupled with the fact that I am still parenting....well I think the word "affect" ...should morph to "causes dating prospects to FLEE" LOL But, I understand, why that is...I really do...but each single family is SO different...but some see "financial" red flags when "rescue" may NOT be needed...it's just generalizations....gotta just wait for fog to clear... but widows/widowers, annulled and divorced were NOT all deliberately planning to "stick" kids on anyone...so on a Catholic respect life from "womb to tomb" site....maybe there would be MORE understanding??? Life happens, Death comes unexpectedly....Dating with dependents, whether disabled family members, elderly, or offspring--yours, mine..etc is just another opportunity for God to reveal Himself!!!! so we watch God plan it out....and wait...and, of course, pray! right? this thread shows we are NOT alone :-) Barbara
Oct 14th 2013 new
(quote) Susan-857876 said: I try very faithfully to see these profiles for what they are
...................and people having way more substance and
value................but the faith scale out of 7 is always
a good gauge for me
Susan it pains me to tell you that ...embarassed I fall under the "yes to most questions" category too
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