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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Oct 13th 2013 new
(quote) Zachary-1017519 said: All right, I'll jump in here to offer my own views on things. A few quick hits on where I'm coming from:

A. I'm in the process of converting. Like, towards the beginning. My understanding of things is limited at best as it comes to the faith.
B. But I have been online dating at other sites before. I've only just (literally just an hour ago) paid for this one. Simply because it's my birthday, one, and I figure dating with faith first is a better option than anything else. At the very least I won't have to discuss my sexual preferences (hint: none, as I'm a virgin and I've only broadcasted that EVERYWHERE on your dating site and you still don't get it ... but that's a tangent for another day).

Zachary, Welcome to the Church. We need you! And Happy Birthday Happy Birthday!
((A CM membership, what a great gift to give to yourself!))

A. Be sure to find authentic Catholic information: classes and books. Look for 'the meat and potatoes Truth'. Stay away from the fluffy feel good, do what you think is right, watered down nonsense....it's still everywhere and has been a disaster for the souls searching for the truth.

B. Impressive statement. ((God must like virgins, because He created everyone as a virgin.)) So everyone is born a virgin, it's what they do with their virginity. It can only be given one time. Not twice. Just once. The first time. Virginity is a precious, personalized gift to give another person in marriage. ((It's ridiculed, by those who've lost it/thrown it away/wasted it/sold it/squandered it. Virgins don't scoff at other virgins. They seek them out.)) We should be taught better why it's so special, how to better protect it, how to master our will and our body. It's this mastery that creates fidelity, necessary for marriage.

Congratulations, you've still got it! ((It's equally important for men, as well as women. Women want a man who can be faithful to them! It might be harder for a man to retain.....so it's more important for men to practice the skills needed to protect themselves from loosing this unique, personal gift they could give their wife.))
Oct 13th 2013 new
(quote) Jim-624621 said: As someone who lives outside of Florida and loves the keys, I can tell you that it has been too long since I was last there. I have traveled there on business and for pleasure (Scuba diving), and have many fond memories of the place. One of the best was driving from Key West to Fort Lauderdale (for a flight home) leaving Key West at 4am and watching the Perseid meteor shower all the way to Miami up US1. Then there is John Pennecamp, and Big Pine Key among many others that are great for diving and snorkeling... I have yet to make my way to the Tortugas.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.
Thank you for the endorsement, Jim!

And, as an additional enticement, keywestcatholicparish.org

biggrin
Oct 13th 2013 new
(quote) David-174079 said: "So, anyway, it's more important to watch what a man does (watch his feet), than what he says. Most of us will take action over pretty words any day!"

What if he has Hobbit feet?
Which, has a double meaning...unsightly...but also fearfully domesticated. On this measure, I'd suggest most ladies, rightly so, have Hobbit feet. Not unsightly, but firmly rooted in their daily duties, family and friends.

But I agree with you. I've gotten there too, where I stopped listening until I saw "10 toes planted firmly outside the door."
"Watch his feet" is another way of saying, "Watch what he DOES, not what he SAYS" (but you know that). wink

Yes, both genders should be honest about their situation. I think that for the inexperienced, the chase and the capture is more exciting than the reality of the situation. Too many times, the F2F is the reality check, as in "now that we're here, what happens next? What are we going to do with one another?!" laughing
Oct 13th 2013 new
(quote) Jessica-766671 said: Do you feel like it's a problem with the way the profile system is set up, or just the way people on CM tend to create their profiles? I've never explored the secular dating sites so I'm not really familiar with how they are similar or different than CM. I will agree that I often see the same things on men's sites... "I'll keep this short and sweet..." "Looking for a nice girl to spend time with", no pictures ...etc, with very little about the actual person creating the profile. While it's true that just the computer interface makes it hard to connect, it is even harder when you can't get a sense of who the person is behind the monitor.

(And if you have any tips on how we can improve our profiles, please pass them along! :) )
I actually thought about that question as I wrote my first post. I looked at the general profile questions on the other site. I looked at them on here. They, frankly, aren't all that different, so I'd have to go with the bigger problem just being what people write (or better, don't write) on here. It sort of makes sense: you don't know what to write, so you look at other profiles; most profiles here are boring, so that's what you encounter, and lo and behold, you write yourself a boring profile.


Oct 13th 2013 new
(quote) Molly-688164 said: Zachary, Welcome to the Church. We need you! And Happy Birthday
((A CM membership, what a great gift to give to yourself!))

A. Be sure to find authentic Catholic information: classes and books. Look for 'the meat and potatoes Truth'. Stay away from the fluffy feel good, do what you think is right, watered down nonsense....it's still everywhere and has been a disaster for the souls searching for the truth.

B. Impressive statement. ((God must like virgins, because He created everyone as a virgin.)) So everyone is born a virgin, it's what they do with their virginity. It can only be given one time. Not twice. Just once. The first time. Virginity is a precious, personalized gift to give another person in marriage. ((It's ridiculed, by those who've lost it/thrown it away/wasted it/sold it/squandered it. Virgins don't scoff at other virgins. They seek them out.)) We should be taught better why it's so special, how to better protect it, how to master our will and our body. It's this mastery that creates fidelity, necessary for marriage.

Congratulations, you've still got it! ((It's equally important for men, as well as women. Women want a man who can be faithful to them! It might be harder for a man to retain.....so it's more important for men to practice the skills needed to protect themselves from loosing this unique, personal gift they could give their wife.))
Thanks for the Bday wishes everyone. I got stuck late at work and it's raining. Oh well. *shrugs*

As for the various points in the above:

A. Yeah, I'm looking for the good books and trying to find a nearby church to get classes in. I still need to figure out if the parishes around me are any good (mixed reviews to say the least) and get this process really underway. If you or anyone else has any suggestions for books and such, let me know through the various means on here.

B. Yeah, my statement about my own virginity isn't aimed at CM, but every other dating site I've used (which isn't in double-digit numbers). Every other site is OBSESSED with sex and the various ways it occurs ... it's annoying. I've always believed and was raised to believe that virginity is a gift meant for the person you're marrying. Admittedly, it's not like I was in very high demand in high school or college (I was pretty overweight then). More than anything, it's just that I made a promise to God about it. Now, let's me be honest and say at other points in my life I've made such promises and broken them. But this one just can't be broken in my view. It's the one that I've always held myself accountable for.

Onto the point about online dating being similar to porn. In some respects, I agree with the statement. Both things are trying to "sell" another person on something. With online dating, you're trying to sell a person into clicking on your profile and, perhaps, communicate with you. With porn you want the person to click and watch.

Both do focus on the visual, both do emphasize it.

But I will disagree that makes them the same kind of thing or even close. Online dating (and one can make the argument every online interaction falls here) is an attempt by one person to reach out to another, to connect and see if that connection turns into something.

With pornography, it's a soulsucking experience that's about instant gratification and a high. It's completely dehumanizing for both the person in the video and the one watching. It lacks an essential human element that online dating doesn't.

Online dating can be more than just a few lines in various sections of the profile. It can be communication, which is a major component of any relationship and a foundational building block for all of them. You can't communicate with porn. You can communicate with other human beings who are, somewhere in the world, sitting in front of a keyboard waiting to hear back from someone.

My thoughts.
Oct 13th 2013 new
Depends on the profile, and how much it conveys of who he is and how he expresses himself.
That's one of the values of the CM Forums, btw. After a while you can really get to understand how someone's mind works and whether it "clicks" with yours, and develop a friendship.
Oct 14th 2013 new
(quote) Adam-399324 said: I actually thought about that question as I wrote my first post. I looked at the general profile questions on the other site. I looked at them on here. They, frankly, aren't all that different, so I'd have to go with the bigger problem just being what people write (or better, don't write) on here. It sort of makes sense: you don't know what to write, so you look at other profiles; most profiles here are boring, so that's what you encounter, and lo and behold, you write yourself a boring profile.


I agree - I really don't think there are many improvements one can make to the profile process, other than adding the video element - I think that would be a great idea!! Rather, I think the important thing for a person who wants to be successful in actually finding a match is taking a risk to get to know a person even though the profile may not be particularly interesting. Look for areas of compatibility rather than the "razzle-dazzle" effect!
Oct 14th 2013 new
(quote) Kristen-878108 said: Rather, I think the important thing for a person who wants to be successful in actually finding a match is taking a risk to get to know a person
Precisely. :)
Oct 15th 2013 new
(quote) Kristen-878108 said: Just wondering if this is part of the challenge of online dating. So far my experience has been that I am much more attracted to the men I've been in contact with after meeting them then I was by looking at their profile and picture. Interacting with him and seeing his mannerisms can bump up the level of attraction a great deal! Perhaps it's not possible to really be attracted to someone from a profile? And perhaps this is the reason there seem to be persons on here who are frustrated with the process - because the "complete package" of who they are cannot be communicated effectively in their profile?
Kristen. your forgot to mention in your profile that you won both the Miss Ohio and Miss America Title..............
Oct 15th 2013 new
I like what you expressed!
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