Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Oct 14th 2013 new
Joan,

I feel you should know that someone is using your account to post inflammatory generalities about men. This is not the only posting they have gotten away with either. Maybe change your password?

Best, Mike
Oct 14th 2013 new
Hi Christina,

Oh my gosh, I am the same way regarding emoticons!!! When I was new to the site, it was hard for me to see that I received views and emoticons, but no messages. I've written to several men who haven't responded (even a few who wrote me an emoticon in the first place, to which I responded with a message). Rest assured, though, you will receive messages from a few guys. Also, don't feel bad or guilty for not being "into" emoticons; rather, I think it's something you should pay attention to. Chances are, if you don't like emoticons too much...your match won't either...

For myself, if a guy in which I'm interested views my profile and sends me an emoticon, I'm likely to send one back...and then hope he responds with conversation. I'm not one for a continual emoticon "game". If a guy sends an emoticon with a personalized message, it really helps (in my opinion). To me, that means he actually took the time view my profile and wants to get in touch.
Oct 14th 2013 new
The same happens to me, I guess this is how it is. I wish I can help you, but I'm on the same situation. Good look!
Oct 15th 2013 new
Hello Christina,
I looked at your file and so here is your "guy's perspective"
I see you are a beautiful young lady both inside and out.
ex. outside you are physically attractive, that captures my attention first.
Inside, you are in school for DMV. tenacity creativity determination and dedication surface rather quickly.
You admit to yourself you need a bit of guidance so rises perseverance. (when in doubt seek)
All wonderful qualities. All the above tells me tons about you.
The downside:(
You want to stay in TX... Because SA is pretty much central...you just loped off 47 states.
That narrows the scope rather quickly. you just lost 95% of you interested potential.
The files details an education...What are the % of guys with an education that could keep up with you.
You will have a great job and a business and will make good money...in todays market guys tend to be
boys till 40 to 45 y/o.
Lets hack away some more...the diversity dwindles because you are in a select career field in the SA area.
The far away guys may not be willing to move to your area:(
You now have a selection of about 50 possibilities and even they need to like everything about you.
then comes how many of those would you be attracted to ?
Here comes the heartbreaker:) Of those who qualify will they be your competitor or complimentary?
You might need to be a tinsy bit more open minded.

Lenn
Oct 15th 2013 new
(quote) Lenn-1017174 said: Hello Christina,
I looked at your file and so here is your "guy's perspective"
I see you are a beautiful young lady both inside and out.
ex. outside you are physically attractive, that captures my attention first.
Inside, you are in school for DMV. tenacity creativity determination and dedication surface rather quickly.
You admit to yourself you need a bit of guidance so rises perseverance. (when in doubt seek)
All wonderful qualities. All the above tells me tons about you.
The downside:(
You want to stay in TX... Because SA is pretty much central...you just loped off 47 states.
That narrows the scope rather quickly. you just lost 95% of you interested potential.
The files details an education...What are the % of guys with an education that could keep up with you.
You will have a great job and a business and will make good money...in todays market guys tend to be
boys till 40 to 45 y/o.
Lets hack away some more...the diversity dwindles because you are in a select career field in the SA area.
The far away guys may not be willing to move to your area:(
You now have a selection of about 50 possibilities and even they need to like everything about you.
then comes how many of those would you be attracted to ?
Here comes the heartbreaker:) Of those who qualify will they be your competitor or complimentary?
You might need to be a tinsy bit more open minded.

Lenn
Lenn, you are very astute and very articulate. You said exactly what I wanted to say but didn't take the time to compose such a detailed reply. Unfortunately the short reply I composed made several men irritated, however one woman responded that she had the very experience I spoke of. I didn't point out Christina's reluctance to relocate (I felt it was obvious) however I did site the concern about her advanced education as well as her perceived increased maturity level (in vet school at a young age). Thanks Lenn for for making some great points.
Oct 15th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: Lenn, you are very astute and very articulate. You said exactly what I wanted to say but didn't take the time to compose such a detailed reply. Unfortunately the short reply I composed made several men irritated, however one woman responded that she had the very experience I spoke of. I didn't point out Christina's reluctance to relocate (I felt it was obvious) however I did site the concern about her advanced education as well as her perceived increased maturity level (in vet school at a young age). Thanks Lenn for for making some great points.
I'm not saying it's impossible. I actively assume there are some retrograde highly educated dudes lurking about the CM-a-verse somewhere. But I bet there are enough would-be upper middle class homemakers about that it all balances out. So I'm not buying into this as some sort of large scale phenomenon without a lot more substantiation (not that I expect to ever get it, of course; it's not really any of my business).

Sure, if women with graduate degrees are primarily in search of muscle bound laborers, then I can see issues. I recall a thread posted by a young lady working on LLM (a degree sought after a JD that is primarily useful for joining a law school faculty) #2 or some such thing wondering why men weren't interested in her with her high level of education. My primary reaction was what exactly do you think you have in common with the average non-college graduate or guy who scraped his way through to a BA, anyway? Sure, the guys with education to compare to yours aren't so terribly common, but it is my experience that such men are almost exclusively interested in women with your level of education, so, as in almost all things, homphily rules the day.
Oct 15th 2013 new
(quote) Adam-399324 said: I'm not saying it's impossible. I actively assume there are some retrograde highly educated dudes lurking about the CM-a-verse somewhere. But I bet there are enough would-be upper middle class homemakers about that it all balances out. So I'm not buying into this as some sort of large scale phenomenon without a lot more substantiation (not that I expect to ever get it, of course; it's not really any of my business).

Sure, if women with graduate degrees are primarily in search of muscle bound laborers, then I can see issues. I recall a thread posted by a young lady working on LLM (a degree sought after a JD that is primarily useful for joining a law school faculty) #2 or some such thing wondering why men weren't interested in her with her high level of education. My primary reaction was what exactly do you think you have in common with the average non-college graduate or guy who scraped his way through to a BA, anyway? Sure, the guys with education to compare to yours aren't so terribly common, but it is my experience that such men are almost exclusively interested in women with your level of education, so, as in almost all things, homphily rules the day.
Adam, thank you for concurring. Like you pointed out, a highly educated female has little in common with the average, middle class, male (which is the bulk of men). Christine's higher level of education will limit her prospects, no doubt. At the same time I would hate for a woman to NOT pursue a higher education because it might limit their prospects for a future suitor. Thanks again, Adam.
Oct 17th 2013 new
(quote) Christina-1018729 said: I'm not sure if this is the right forum but here goes. I am new to the site and I have a full account. I've already had a number of men view my profile, and some either send emoticons or answer my interview questions, but I still haven't gotten a single message from anyone. I know I've only been a member for a few days, but I just want to prepare myself if this is normally how guys work on this site. The emoticons are fine, but for the most part I believe the woman is meant to be pursued. So it is confusing to me as to why, so far at least, none of the guys seem to be confident enough to really reach out with a full message. I have even tried making first contact with two members whose profiles I found really intriguing, but haven't gotten a reply even though the site says both members have since viewed my profile and were curretly online at some point today. I am trying to remind myself that not everyone has a full acount so I guess they wouldn't be able to reply by message, or of course they may simply be uninterested . I'm pretty new to the whole online thing, so like I said before I'm just trying to determine what my expectations should be on how guys act in an online setting.

If anyone has advice, comments, or has personal experience with this anything would be appreciated. Thanks :)

~Christina
Hi Christina,

Welcome to CM! Thanks for your post! I am sorry your initial experience here has been underwhelming. There are likely a number of reasons why you are experiencing little initial success. I've attempted to discuss one theory of mine in my recent post, "Possible to be Attracted from a Profile?" Many other reasons were outlined by Lenn in his previous post.

There are many sweeping generalizations that could be made about why the situation is as it is. Just recently I became acquainted with a woman who has been on CM for SEVEN YEARS and only NOW has a man contacted her who is compatible and they are currently in a relationship. I think it is important to be realistic about this process. I also had high hopes for finding a match in short order. I am a good woman and good catch angel and in the "real world" have no problem attracting men. Yet I am looking to find a man who takes his faith as seriously as I do, and this type of man is rare in my area. So that's why I am on CM.

Rather than attempting to answer your question with some of these sweeping generalizations and run the risk of hurting feelings, the bottom line is that if you want to find someone on CM, you will have to be patient - and perhaps VERY patient! I am struggling with the same questions as you. I think the best thing to do is to lower your expectations and concentrate on living life rather than on your CM success (or lack thereof). That way, when that man who shares compatibility with you and is ready for a relationship shows up, you have not become embittered by the wait and are able to open yourself freely to him!



Oct 17th 2013 new
worry not commend yourself to the protection of your Guardian Angel pray for the wolf to be kept from the door and for your guardian Angel to Find you the Souse Jesus deigns for you He may be on the site, he may not. God has a plan for you, an exact spouse, none other will do. So sit tight young one, hold on to your rosary Mary our beautiful Mother knows what is best for her children. Better be to lonesome for a little while longer than loathsome of ones situation having tethered one self to the spouse our own flawed choice born of our fallen nature,, as the bird of paradise trapped in a gilded castle. Rather pray, as we all must, for patience to wait trustfully for the exact spouse you know the very best souse a woman could ever hope for is Jesus ....Jesus the very best of husbands ....Any way pray hope and worry not you are in the palm of The Almighty kindest regards Rosemary
Oct 17th 2013 new
most degrees are good for nothing other than wiping ones bottom with them you may find the greatest love of your life with a dyslexic man who could barely pen an x .... Let us alll open our hearts our minds our sousl to Gods plan let us all throw away our lists......Yes ..... Where was Marys degree where was Josephs degree..... remember it is those with the degree who have made a big mess of the financial world .....Yes let us throw away our lists .....Gods plan not ours How can we say no to God
Posts 31 - 40 of 45