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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Oct 17th 2013 new
(quote) Jean-504066 said: she'd be better off remaining a virgin, marrying a virgin, and remaining faithful for however long they both shall live. Perhaps promiscuity is scarier now than it was in the seventies 
Marrying a non-virgin does not necessarily imply promiscuity. There is the possibility for annulments and widow / widowers remarrying and given the fact they were married (sacramentally or otherwise) it's only natural to expect that they would have been sexually active!
Oct 17th 2013 new
(quote) Haley-1019327 said: Rather is there a right time to ask someone if they're sexually active? With all of STDs going around I have to be careful. I personally want to save myself for marriage and hope to find someone who is as well. I won't judge anyone who isn't a virgin. But what do you do? How do you bring up the topic, do you wait or do you just come out and ask?
If you would neither walk up to a man on the street and ask him without introduction, nor ask him at the first introduction in person, then you ought not ask him right off the bat either in email or chat.

Really, if the man is not a widower then there is no good reason for an unrelated woman to know his possible sexual history without a statement of intention to check suitability for marriage with one another.

It's not modest to go around talking about private or occult sins without a good reason...and just meeting someone online who might POSSIBLY be interested in getting to know you is not a good reason.

If a man or a woman is interested in checking his/her suitability for marriage with the other, then the intention ought to be stated, and safeguards put up to discuss things of a private nature without sin...otherwise it's just vain prattling and someone is going to get emotionally hurt.
Oct 17th 2013 new
So Very True.
Oct 17th 2013 new
So Very True Carla .Jon Paul
Oct 17th 2013 new
(quote) Peter-793888 said: Marrying a non-virgin does not necessarily imply promiscuity. There is the possibility for annulments and widow / widowers remarrying and given the fact they were married (sacramentally or otherwise) it's only natural to expect that they would have been sexually active!
He was saying he'd be scared to have sex outside of marriage which certainly hints at promiscuity if it doesn't imply it. I was responding to his message about condom use, not talking about non-virgins in general.
Oct 17th 2013 new
Scared to have it without condoms that is, not in a general way. Though really the only thing we should be scared of is sinning, so I like the other thought better.
Oct 17th 2013 new
(quote) Haley-1019327 said: Rather is there a right time to ask someone if they're sexually active? With all of STDs going around I have to be careful. I personally want to save myself for marriage and hope to find someone who is as well. I won't judge anyone who isn't a virgin. But what do you do? How do you bring up the topic, do you wait or do you just come out and ask?
Haley princess heart flower angel

Try asking him 'fair game questions', that are often asked by everyone, very early in dating:
'Have you ever been in a serious relationship?' (or long term relationship)
'Have you ever lived with someone?'

(((If there has been a lot of physical contact/opportunity, most don't have the ability to avoid the natural progression of physical contact to sexual contact. So most people would assume a 'long term relationship', means there was a sexual relationship. Or a deep, emotional attachment, also involved sensual/sexual involvement.))) Of course, it's a whole nother' thing to try to uncover 'one night stands', basic promiscuity etc. PS STD's also are found/transferred thru the mouth/throat, so kissing has it's risks.

((In the case of a virgin, you'd want to find out simply, if the other person is one too. It's a fair issue, considering there's a very high value on it. It's a yes or no answer. But you don't have to ask a person outright. Look at the persons actions. Actions will be the best clue, very early on, of the true virtues they possess. Chastity is practiced, it's a behavior. Chastity is expected of everyone (single, married or religious) (((i.e. married people are expected to remain chaste too, to be loyal to their spouse and to not have sex with others))) If your date, doesn't show indications of protecting your chastity, it's likely they aren't chaste, themselves. ((There are hundreds of examples......from things as simple as respectful touching only, curtailing physical excitement, discouraging excessive intoxication, limiting intimate opportunities, planning dates and activities that don't have sexual connotations...)) (((The sexually active will do just the opposite, they will seek opportunities for sexual contact)))

Even if a person doesn't have a sexual history, it doesn't mean they don't have other issues that would weaken a healthy sexual relationship (i.e. lust, porn, mastxxx w/out sex...)

Finding the right spouse, for a long term, exclusive, highly mutually satisfying intimate relationship requires patience (because there are so many people looking to marry and offering themselves as marriage potentials). And also, the ability to discern who the other person really is, which takes place during 'dating'. Who are they?? Are they right for you? And who you? And are you right for them? You're each a bit of a matchmaker for the other.

A great marriage, means it's a great match, for both of you, not just one of you. lovestruck! Blinded by love lovestruck! Blinded by love
Oct 17th 2013 new
(quote) Haley-1019327 said: Rather is there a right time to ask someone if they're sexually active? With all of STDs going around I have to be careful. I personally want to save myself for marriage and hope to find someone who is as well. I won't judge anyone who isn't a virgin. But what do you do? How do you bring up the topic, do you wait or do you just come out and ask?
The easiset way is to put in your profile that those that are sexually active need not apply.Of course there are some men that may lie.The Std thing is a big problem.You can require he get screened if it gets serious relationship wise.I don't think men show positive for Chlamydia.www.webmd.com
Oct 17th 2013 new
I doubt that he would honestly answer when being asked such question if he was sexually active or no longer a virgin. So for me, I won't ask him such questions (just leave those for my parents ask him instead, then I can have a chance to caught his reaction whether he is telling lie or not). If he's not the one I want to think.of getting married then I just don't bother to ask him. I may sincerely ask him when I put my trust in him and feel that he is the one I want to get married, I'd like to bring up that topic when I can feel this is my man. If he admits so, I would re-consider my future with him before relationship is going too far. If knowing somebody for quite a long time, I think I can have a feeling whether he's sexually active or not; and that the reasons for me.to break up my ex.
Oct 17th 2013 new
Something tells me that even some of the responses here are outsides the bounds of modesty. Listen, all you have to do is bring up the subject of modesty. Some guys will LIE, some will just be clueless or both. A few truly care about God's rights. If you ask him, "Are you chaste?" And je responds, "By who(m)?" You just go, "Next!"
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