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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

How I view on-line dating.

Oct 20th 2013 new
I have come to think of on-line dating like shooting fish in a barrel. It is both completely fortunate and unfortunate. Lets take the fortunate aspect: look at all the options! I mean, how can you discount the number of perspective partners right at the end of your fingertips? Have you ever seen fish in a barrel? Well, me either, but if I were a cat or liked to shoot fish in a barrel, I am quite sure that I would be in heaven. You have, at any moment, the option to type in a search for your perfect mate. Readysearch! And up pops up at least a few dozen men/women who meet the basic requirements of your future mate. How lovely! But then what? Then comes the unfortunate part. Because as you are coursing through, scouting out the perspectives, the person on the other end of the computer is doing the same thing to you. And that ideasucks! I mean, I can skip over you because I may not completely think you and I would work based on looks, the way you describe yourself, personality traits and such, and that it is fine. But heck if you do the same thing to me! I meanIm the best. I deserve a message and a second look from everyone. Or do I?
So where is the balance? How do we maneuver through the muck and mire that is on-line dating? Patiencetons and tons of patience! God, it is frustrating. I feel like I have spent so much time being patient, and I am now so tired. I think perhaps it is more frustrating because I am out there. I have been placed in a warehouse of other available women and it is now just a waiting game to see which men walk in to the store, scour through the racks of women, and pick me upeither walking out with me or putting me back on the rack.
But am I not doing the same thing? Am I not looking through pictures of men and automatically making a judgment on them based on looks? If I were honest, there are at least 3 men on the site I am on who would date me. But, I have over looked them. Why? Because I made a passing judgment on the way they looked. However, to some credit, I did read their profile and I wasnt exactly blown away.
So as someone else is staring into the barrel of fish of women I am also looking into a barrel of the opposite sex of fish

Patience, Alysse. Patience!
Oct 20th 2013 new
Yep.

Sometimes seeing all the profiles out there can create unrealistic expectations for success.

I've decided it's time to take up a hobby... Maybe scrapbooking...
Oct 20th 2013 new
Exactly, Kristen. This waiting game is almost too nauseating!
Oct 20th 2013 new
(quote) Alysse-954305 said: Exactly, Kristen. This waiting game is almost too nauseating!
So we wait, and wait, to be "the chosen one" by someone of the opposite gender. Like clothes on a sales rack, the most fashionable clothes take center stage. The latest styles are the ones on the mannequin as you walk in the department store, surely to be chosen first and bought for the highest price because they are so lovely and make us look our best.

As time passes the clothes on the mannequin are moved to the sales rack (if they haven't sold) and new fashions are put on display. This happens several times throughout the year and as the year progresses the clothes that don't sell are marked down, below the department stores cost. Sometimes the clothes never sell and are sent to the secondary market. Despite the high quality of fabric and workmanship they are sold for pennies on the dollar or sent to a landfill.

This is how I view online dating. The longer I am on CM, the further back I get pushed on that sales rack until I am finally on the secondary market where I might as well be dumped in a landfill because even though I am made of the highest quality materials and the best workmanship possible, I am not "chosen".
Oct 20th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: So we wait, and wait, to be "the chosen one" by someone of the opposite gender. Like clothes on a sales rack, the most fashionable clothes take center stage. The latest styles are the ones on the mannequin as you walk in the department store, surely to be chosen first and bought for the highest price because they are so lovely and make us look our best.

As time passes the clothes on the mannequin are moved to the sales rack (if they haven't sold) and new fashions are put on display. This happens several times throughout the year and as the year progresses the clothes that don't sell are marked down, below the department stores cost. Sometimes the clothes never sell and are sent to the secondary market. Despite the high quality of fabric and workmanship they are sold for pennies on the dollar or sent to a landfill.

This is how I view online dating. The longer I am on CM, the further back I get pushed on that sales rack until I am finally on the secondary market where I might as well be dumped in a landfill because even though I am made of the highest quality materials and the best workmanship possible, I am not "chosen".
But wait, there is more to the story. I AM CHOSEN! The KING has chosen me as His daughter!! That is why he chose the highest quality materials and used the highest level of workmanship to create me. I don't need to be chosen by anyone else but Him. Praise the Lord; I am not a prisoner to man's desires because I am the DAUGHTER OF A KING!!
Oct 20th 2013 new
Great stream of consciousness, Alysse!!
Oct 20th 2013 new
(quote) Alysse-954305 said: I have come to think of on-line dating like shooting fish in a barrel. It is both completely fortunate and unfortunate. Lets take the fortunate aspect: look at all the options! I mean, how can you discount the number of perspective partners right at the end of your fingertips? Have you ever seen fish in a barrel? Well, me either, but if I were a cat or liked to shoot fish in a barrel, I am quite sure that I would be in heaven. You have, at any moment, the option to type in a search for your perfect mate. Readysearch! And up pops up at least a few dozen men/women who meet the basic requirements of your future mate. How lovely! But then what? Then comes the unfortunate part. Because as you are coursing through, scouting out the perspectives, the person on the other end of the computer is doing the same thing to you. And that ideasucks! I mean, I can skip over you because I may not completely think you and I would work based on looks, the way you describe yourself, personality traits and such, and that it is fine. But heck if you do the same thing to me! I meanIm the best. I deserve a message and a second look from everyone. Or do I? So where is the balance? How do we maneuver through the muck and mire that is on-line dating? Patiencetons and tons of patience! God, it is frustrating. I feel like I have spent so much time being patient, and I am now so tired. I think perhaps it is more frustrating because I am out there. I have been placed in a warehouse of other available women and it is now just a waiting game to see which men walk in to the store, scour through the racks of women, and pick me upeither walking out with me or putting me back on the rack. But am I not doing the same thing? Am I not looking through pictures of men and automatically making a judgment on them based on looks? If I were honest, there are at least 3 men on the site I am on who would date me. But, I have over looked them. Why? Because I made a passing judgment on the way they looked. However, to some credit, I did read their profile and I wasnt exactly blown away. So as someone else is staring into the barrel of fish of women I am also looking into a barrel of the opposite sex of fish
Patience, Alysse. Patience!
Only way to see into a barrel of fish is to look down at them. Maybe if we think in terms of a glass tank we can see the big picture. I think what we really need to watch for are the sharks and bottom feeders. They will devour us in one gulp.

Just keep on swimming. goldfish biggrin

www.youtube.com
Oct 20th 2013 new
Eh, patience is a virtue. You wouldn't want to "hook up" with just anyone.....right?
Oct 20th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: So we wait, and wait, to be "the chosen one" by someone of the opposite gender. Like clothes on a sales rack, the most fashionable clothes take center stage. The latest styles are the ones on the mannequin as you walk in the department store, surely to be chosen first and bought for the highest price because they are so lovely and make us look our best.

As time passes the clothes on the mannequin are moved to the sales rack (if they haven't sold) and new fashions are put on display. This happens several times throughout the year and as the year progresses the clothes that don't sell are marked down, below the department stores cost. Sometimes the clothes never sell and are sent to the secondary market. Despite the high quality of fabric and workmanship they are sold for pennies on the dollar or sent to a landfill.

This is how I view online dating. The longer I am on CM, the further back I get pushed on that sales rack until I am finally on the secondary market where I might as well be dumped in a landfill because even though I am made of the highest quality materials and the best workmanship possible, I am not "chosen".
Cheer up, Buttercup! wink I'm not sure the situation is as bleak as all that! (Although I must say, you drew me in for a few secs! biggrin) I do believe that this online environment is just as daunting for the men as it is for the women, and they could formulate an analogy just as bleak. It's just a challenging environment for making one's best first impression. In the written word we miss a person's tone of voice, awesome comedic delivery style, and intention. At least that's what I've figured out from written communication. Michelle makes a good point in regard to the flaw in the analogy of a barrel of fish - not looking down on others, but realizing we're all in this together, bumping and jostling each other as we move around in this little tank at CM! And hopefully in the process someone recognizes the spark of connection and whammo! Off the rack! smile Or on to a smaller exclusive marriage fish bowl. mischievous What I meant with my hobby comment is sincerely that (though it's probably not going to be scrapbooking - maybe pilates or getting ripped with crossfit...) - I need to live my life and not allow my success or failure on CM to impact my self-worth!
Oct 20th 2013 new
Don't worry. We know you look nothing like your photoshopped picture in real life laughing duck Don't under estimate the power of these fora. Most members never use them. They are a way to interact with people. Your words here fill volumes about you!

CM seems to be in the down cycle again. ----- and moan litters the rooms. How attractive is that. It's an old wives tail for good reason, "If you can't say something good don't say anything at all."

Too many have it too good. The state of society is reflected in these rooms. Try to type something that shows you have hope! Times will get worse than these now. Who wants to be with someone who only knows how to gripe?

Saddly it seems I need to wish more people experience dire situations like death in two weeks before they realixe this life is a gift and it is "my" choice how to enjoy it!

St. Augustine said, "I can't do it without God and God won't do it without my help."
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