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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
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Nov 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Elizabeth-1020754 said: Thanks Elizabeth never thought I would be on a catholic dating site. My ex was not faithful and I learned a lot of tough lessons from that. Life iis not easy that's why faith is so important.
O I understand. Eventhough I was never married my mother went through those lessons with my father and I was there as an eyewitness to the hardships she suffered from his infidelities. Those other women were in clicks too and their slutty philosophy was so unreal to me. I was fixing to knock the @#*! out of more than one of them for causing trouble, by the time I was a teenager. In fact I remember that was the reason I ate my spinach as a small child so I grow up strong like Popeye. And a number of them were stepping out on theor husbands.
Nov 2nd 2013 new
(quote) James-17080 said: Hi John et alia,

Marge is correct. This was especially true in Europe when marriages were used more to cement political alliances than anything else.

Up until about 35 years ago or so, in Germany, business deals sometimes came with the requirement that you marry someone's daughter, who, as you might expect, was not too hot in the looks department, but came with not necessarily voluntary virginity.

James ☺
James, It appears to me that you have a very skewed understanding of Catholic marriage in Europe. To say that marriage was used more importantly for political alliances than for the true purpose of marriage (as you say "than anything else") which, among other things is predominantly for sacramental means to assist persons to salvation of soul and for the propagation of God's plan for humanity is just outrageous.

I was born there, lived there for a time and have significant family still living in Europe. So I have knowledge of where things were before 35 years ago as well as now. I have also read much about Catholic teaching, marriage and European history, among other things.

My understanding of the Church teachings in regards to marriage and historical marriages in Europe appear quite different than yours. Have you received yours while living in the Chicago area?

I do not think it boastful for me to say that I am more versed in European political history than the average US citizen. In this matter, I must insist that your view, shared with Marge, is not accurate. But I will invite you to present to me examples of known European marriages that uphold your view... then also, how it is that such situations were dominant?
Nov 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Jaime-573859 said: hi Linda!

I think that the choice to premarital sex is contrary to the foundation of Holy Matrimony. Seems people here in the West like to toy with the free play of ideas. I think this is what called JPII the culture of death. But really there is more than a physical way of love someone. Sacrifice and commitment are other ways of showing your love for someone. Anyways, I hope this adds something to your thread! Hope we can chat soon. God Bless, jaime
I agree with the love and committment part for sure
Nov 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Nadia-814356 said: But, whenever I see a No the the premarital sex question, I can't shake the thoughts, "How could he be faithful to me then? If he can sleep around now, knowing full well what God teaches, if he can ignore that part of his conscience for fleeting physical pleasure now, what will stop him later from cheating in the marriage when the going gets rough?, which is a when not an if occurrence because marriage is a challenge, not a stroll through the park."

It's a question of trust. How can someone be faithful to you, man or woman, if they can't be faithful to God.
Nadia, your concerns are generally right on! And in most situations where persons are ok with engaging in pre-marital sex, persons never overcome this shortcoming that is gravely sinful. But we should be aware that in particular situations, once in a while, a person does manage a new and lasting commitment to not engage in pre-marital sex for the rest of their lives. So, it is possible. Like you say, it comes down to your trust in that person AS WELL AS that person expressing this new commitment clearly in word AND in deed. If you can't so much as trust their assurance alone, than there is no use in expecting it to be different in marriage. Only with both fully committed, and with God involved, will marriage be a happy one.

A very nice post Nadia!!!

BTW, "waiting" (patience) is not penance, it's a virtue. Be thankful that you have the wisdom and the staying power to wait when necessary. Bravo for you!!!
Nov 2nd 2013 new
Nadia,
I think you make an excellent point. Although you speak with more clarity I have had a lot of similar thoughts. I know from experience that people can develop patterns that they fall right back into when times get tough. Thanks for reaffirming and reminding me of the truth.I get discouraged sometimes especially since I experienced the negative scenario you illustrated in my last marriage.
Nov 2nd 2013 new
God Bless you Elizabeth and your spunkiness!!!!!!!!!!! After the affairs I prayed God put these women in my path so I could give them a piece of my mind and he did and it was pretty amazing and now looking back funny how he brought them to me. When sad things happen God is there to strengthen us and I didn't allow what happened to break me and you sound like you didn't let it define you either. Kudos to you:)
Nov 12th 2013 new
Joan:

It's still the old adage that "Sex Sells". No matter how one looks at this topic, even if we use Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body, men are visual creatures who tend to seek after visual stimulation, whether it's a pretty face or a scantly dressed woman, a man is going to "like" the profiles because while what they truly desire is a woman of virtue, it is hard for a man to equate virtue and prudish attire with love and romance.

I think one of the reasons it was easier for a man to be faithful so many years ago, back when woman dressed in long skirts and high collars is because almost all woman were covered. Thus, the sexual aspect of a woman's beauty was left to the man's imagination. Today, with pornography so readily available, and woman's profiles providing them with so much to view, there is little left to a man's imagination, thus he is like a kid in the candy store. He can pick and choose what flavor he likes best without worrying about the cavities that come with such choice.

Like it or not, we middle-aged woman are living through the fall-out of the sexual revolution and it's a high price to pay. All we can do, is offer it up to the Lord, and trust that if it is God's will for us to find a truly loving gentleman and spouse, then God will send him along in God's good time. I for one have been waiting 12 years and will continue to wait for as long as it takes God to bring that person to me. I trust the Lord that much. Does that mean that I like this wait? Absolutely not!!! But I do know that the wait will be worth it.

I have an uncle who found true love in his late 60's and he and his new bride are the most adorable couple I have ever seen. He waited 18 years to find this woman after many years of dating and prayer. She just happened to be 3 years older than he. They are truly enjoying every moment of their Golden Years together.
Nov 12th 2013 new
I agree with you Nadia. How can I trust somebody, that is not faithful to God? I strongly consider those profiles with a positive answer to it. The negative ones, I discarted those at all.
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