Marge is correct. This was especially true in Europe when marriages were used more to cement political alliances than anything else.
Up until about 35 years ago or so, in Germany, business deals sometimes came with the requirement that you marry someone's daughter, who, as you might expect, was not too hot in the looks department, but came with not necessarily voluntary virginity.
I was born there, lived there for a time and have significant family still living in Europe. So I have knowledge of where things were before 35 years ago as well as now. I have also read much about Catholic teaching, marriage and European history, among other things.
My understanding of the Church teachings in regards to marriage and historical marriages in Europe appear quite different than yours. Have you received yours while living in the Chicago area?
I do not think it boastful for me to say that I am more versed in European political history than the average US citizen. In this matter, I must insist that your view, shared with Marge, is not accurate. But I will invite you to present to me examples of known European marriages that uphold your view... then also, how it is that such situations were dominant?
I think that the choice to premarital sex is contrary to the foundation of Holy Matrimony. Seems people here in the West like to toy with the free play of ideas. I think this is what called JPII the culture of death. But really there is more than a physical way of love someone. Sacrifice and commitment are other ways of showing your love for someone. Anyways, I hope this adds something to your thread! Hope we can chat soon. God Bless, jaime
It's a question of trust. How can someone be faithful to you, man or woman, if they can't be faithful to God.
A very nice post Nadia!!!
BTW, "waiting" (patience) is not penance, it's a virtue. Be thankful that you have the wisdom and the staying power to wait when necessary. Bravo for you!!!
I think you make an excellent point. Although you speak with more clarity I have had a lot of similar thoughts. I know from experience that people can develop patterns that they fall right back into when times get tough. Thanks for reaffirming and reminding me of the truth.I get discouraged sometimes especially since I experienced the negative scenario you illustrated in my last marriage.
It's still the old adage that "Sex Sells". No matter how one looks at this topic, even if we use Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body, men are visual creatures who tend to seek after visual stimulation, whether it's a pretty face or a scantly dressed woman, a man is going to "like" the profiles because while what they truly desire is a woman of virtue, it is hard for a man to equate virtue and prudish attire with love and romance.
I think one of the reasons it was easier for a man to be faithful so many years ago, back when woman dressed in long skirts and high collars is because almost all woman were covered. Thus, the sexual aspect of a woman's beauty was left to the man's imagination. Today, with pornography so readily available, and woman's profiles providing them with so much to view, there is little left to a man's imagination, thus he is like a kid in the candy store. He can pick and choose what flavor he likes best without worrying about the cavities that come with such choice.
Like it or not, we middle-aged woman are living through the fall-out of the sexual revolution and it's a high price to pay. All we can do, is offer it up to the Lord, and trust that if it is God's will for us to find a truly loving gentleman and spouse, then God will send him along in God's good time. I for one have been waiting 12 years and will continue to wait for as long as it takes God to bring that person to me. I trust the Lord that much. Does that mean that I like this wait? Absolutely not!!! But I do know that the wait will be worth it.
I have an uncle who found true love in his late 60's and he and his new bride are the most adorable couple I have ever seen. He waited 18 years to find this woman after many years of dating and prayer. She just happened to be 3 years older than he. They are truly enjoying every moment of their Golden Years together.