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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Nov 4th 2013 new
very nice said.
Nov 4th 2013 new
biggrin This is helping me a lot too sine I just started the process.
Nov 4th 2013 new
scratchchin agree, even if it takes a long time is worth it. we will see about mine!
Nov 4th 2013 new
Read a few verses every morning...Ephesians helped me...being impatient is kinda like being a bit selfish
but we are all flawed to some degree.
I know how deep seeded the hurt can be but don't deny your children's father entrance to heaven for lack of
forgiveness on your part. He will be judged.
As for me, the most of the first 3 years the mere mention of their names would cause me collapse (literally on the floor) to the point if hysteria. I decline at the last minute for next 4 years to actually go on a date. 10 years later dating is approached with extreme caution.
Still having trouble? write it down in a journal...30 days later...its water under the bridge:)
My annulment took over 3 years so I took that time to empty my self out so I could fill up with good things.
Nov 4th 2013 new
When I was divorced and going through the annulment process it was not easy waiting for my annulment. It took about 15 months for me to receive mine. It took me a year to even be able to apply for an annulment after my divorce. My advice would be not to worry about what your ex is or isn't doing. Pray and leave it to God. Focus on living your life as best that you can. You are not alone. When I was going through my annulment process I felt like my life was on hold. Receiving my annulment was very freeing. God bless.
Nov 5th 2013 new
It takes what it takes.. I have a friend who's priest lost her first paperwork, Katrina destroyed the second set and then her third set got lost when her car was destroyed in a second hurricane and her lap-top was in the car.. Talk about bad luck following you around. rolling eyes

I was alone for 22 years after my second divorce.. I think God has his own reasons for making us wait. My new husband is perfect for me.. I had to wait until he became widowed for him to come into my life.
Nov 5th 2013 new
LIssa, I'm just starting the process, do you have any advice you could give me? FYI - I really admire your steadfast position on Church teachings. It isn't easy.....I feel and I'm sure you do as well, know, that in the end, it will all be worth it!! God Bless!!
Nov 5th 2013 new
Great discussion... Im in the same situation but I just divorce recently. I've talked to our deacon about this process, Im starting all the paper works for it. There's so many things to do. Slow but sure.... It's in God's time. As for dating, when the right man comes, then he must be for me :) because God choose him for me. That's how I think of it. Oh of course I get very lonely and all but with prayers and lots of singing... praising God, it sure ease the pain and loneliness...
Nov 10th 2013 new
(quote) Lissa-956941 said: I need some advice.
Hi Lissa,

You didn't specify that it had to be good advice, so here goes . . . laughing

Annulments can take time. Mine took 3 years due to a paperwork snafu. Yipes. boggled
(But I had the advantage of knowing I had a very good case, so I never stressed out about it.)

You are taking the right approach with keeping a healthy mind, body, and spirit. It is hard. But your children need you to be strong. Your love for them will help you.

As for your ex ... well, he's your ex. The less time you spend dwelling on the situation, the better.
I know, I know . . . easier said than done (and not always possible).

Frequent confession is very helpful. Anger and frustration, even if justified, can build to unhealthy levels. Confession can help you release the spiritual burden.

I also highly recommend prayer. Make a prayer list. Prayers for yourself. Prayers for your children. Prayers for your ex. Prayers for a mate. Prayers for discernment. Prayers for forgiveness. Remember that old saw: "We should pray every day for a half an hour, unless we are very busy and don't have the time. In such a situation, we should pray for an hour." Prayer really is transformative.

Finally, it may be too far for you, but Catholic Charities in Santa Ana offers individual & family counseling services. They were excellent a few years back, and hopefully they still are. Check them out. They have sliding scale rates. (But you may need to try a couple counselors before you find a good match.)

1800 East 17th Street
Santa Ana, CA 92705
Tel: 714-347-9674

Peace and Blessings for you and yours,
Feb 9th 2014 new
I'm on month 18 - now waiting for the judge to render a decision. I was just told this could take another 4 months. Sigh. I don't quite understand why it takes so long. I am doing my best to accept the process. God's timing and will be done.

Wishing you blessings for a successful outcome.
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