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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Nov 1st 2013 new
Too often we women confuse the men because we sugar-coat our no with lots of nice things said around the no. And sometimes, we don't actually say no. We avoid the actual word (no) and instead say we're busy, hoping they get the message.

If this is what you are doing...then just be direct. Be gracious, as in 'thank you for asking, but no thank you'. or 'thank you for asking, I am not interested in going out' You don't really need to give a reason. You really don't. If he presses for a reason, just repeat yourself 'thank you for asking, but no thank you'. 'Thank you for asking, but I'm not interested, and please don't ask again' (if he keeps asking)

When we're pressed for a reason, the gent might think of a counter argument to try and convince us. Just just say no, be direct, look him in the eye....use few words.

And, I'd have a private conversation with my boss to let him/her know you aren't interested in the gent and are feeling uncomfortable with their support of the gent. Again, be direct, use few words, but say what you mean, and mean what you say.

IF, after you have done the above (have been very direct in saying "no" to the gent, giving him two times to actually 'hear' you) and you've let your boss know.....the gent still persists in asking you out, your next response to him should be "I've told you "no" twice, don't ask me again. If you continue, I will need to take action through human resources." Again, be direct. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Don't mix words.
Nov 1st 2013 new
Thank you for your response! I really appreciate it. I guess I have feared what would happen if I say no, since I think it would dramatically affect our work environment. My boss thinks there is something between us, but there isn't anything at all. He asked me out again for Monday night, so I'll confront him that day and just tell him the truth.
Nov 1st 2013 new
Thank you! I will definitely do that next time I see him.
Nov 1st 2013 new
I have definitely noticed that. Thank you! I will be direct next time.
Nov 1st 2013 new
Thank you, Ed! I definitely see that. I guess I just didn't want to offend him or have things get worse in the office because I rejected him. But I guess telling the truth immediately is a better solution than something else.
Nov 1st 2013 new
Thanks for your response! I think you described this guy perfectly. He won't stop with the pickup lines and the flirty comments, even in the office. He assumes that I am "interested" because I am friendly to him.

I think my boss is just joking around. He's not very close to him, so that's good news. But he just made things uncomfortable when yesterday he was talking to us and said, "Don't you two have somewhere to go?"

Nov 1st 2013 new
Thank you, Josephine!
Nov 1st 2013 new
Anna Maria , do DIRECTLY to your supervisor and inform him that you are experiencing a problem with a male employee and you want a resolution of the problem which much disturbs you and much affects you work performance.This ia "Step 1"..

Step 2 -- It's MOST IMPORTANT that your express the "details" of you experience to your supervisor with the man man who is the cause of this problem present. After you have truthfully expressed your concerns, your supervisor will expect a responce from the man whose behavior disturbs you.

Don't be afraid!! your posture is perefctly justified . and have a "Look Them Right in the Eye!" attitude toward the person who is affecting your performance when revealing you greivance.I've adhered to this procedure when complaining about people who were affecting my work performance, and arranged a situation where my posture was irrefutable and unassailable.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Nov 3rd 2013 new
(quote) Anna Maria-1012206 said: This guy who works at the same place as me has lately been asking me out to dinner, but I am not interested in him at all. We just would never be a match for a number of reasons. I politely turned down his offer, but he keeps on insisting upon it. Another awkward thing is that my boss has picked up on his advances, and has just made things even more awkward.

What should I do? I barely know him and don't want things to get worse at the office. Should I politely tell him I am not interested or just continue to say that I am busy so he gets the memo? I have never been in a situation like this. I appreciate any help you can provide.
Yes, that is harassment and I would just be honest with him and tell him politely that you're not interested. If he continues to persist after that, then I would contact his supervisor or your HR department and tell them that he is harassing you. Someone once told me that when it comes to women, "the more your persist, the more they resist". In movies, that might work, but rarely does that work in real-life. Hope this guy finally leave you alone.
Nov 3rd 2013 new
Tell him you have a brother who is getting out of prison next week after serving a ten-year sentence for a violent crime.
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