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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Nov 2nd 2013 new
My father wasn't Catholic when he married my mom. She was clear from the get-go, before they married, that their children (my brother and me) would be raised in the Catholic church. He agreed, since his only thing was that he wanted his children raised Christian.

Mom never demanded Dad attend Mass with us, or really do anything other than pray before meals and be there for our sacraments. Because he was able to see how we lived our belief, without the pressure to convert, he made the decision on his own when I was 13.

I'm not saying you should use the gift of marriage as an evangelization tool, but you never know how God plans to use you to bring others closer to Him.
Nov 2nd 2013 new
Michelle
Thank you for posting this. All my life I have always said and believed I would never marry a non-Catholic, ironically while on this site, I have thought of dating a non-Catholic man. If a person is young, will have children I do not think it is a good idea. But then I think of one of my brother-in-laws who is non-Catholic and totally supported my sister raising their children in the Catholic faith and is one of nicest guy I know. If we follow Jesus's will we will find the right choice or maybe no choice at all-remain single. The best I can offer is prayer and try to do the will of God.
Nov 2nd 2013 new
There are some equally great not Catholic men out there. T he issue that I encounter is, if they are divorced they REALLY struggle with the annulment idea. I just rely on God to guide me to the doors that He wants me to walk through. In the meantime, I try hard to be a woman that God can be proud of. i am open to his guidance. If God wants marriage for me... No one can hinder it
Nov 2nd 2013 new
I was a convert at the age of 18. When I was in my early 20s a co-worker, knowing I was Catholic, asked me to be her Godmother/sponsor at her baptism. She married a Catholic man and they had 4 children in Catholic school. Everyone just presumed she was Catholic as she went to mass with the family and did all the requirements of having a child in Catholic school. She just didn't go to communion. She went to a nearby church for instruction on her lunch hour and was baptized. I was the only one present besides her and the priest. Other than her husband and me and the priest no one ever knew that she was not a Catholic all along. I'm not sure why she kept this secret other than possible embarrassment for keeping this quiet for so many years.




Nov 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Mel-398726 said: My father wasn't Catholic when he married my mom. She was clear from the get-go, before they married, that their children (my brother and me) would be raised in the Catholic church. He agreed, since his only thing was that he wanted his children raised Christian.

Mom never demanded Dad attend Mass with us, or really do anything other than pray before meals and be there for our sacraments. Because he was able to see how we lived our belief, without the pressure to convert, he made the decision on his own when I was 13.

I'm not saying you should use the gift of marriage as an evangelization tool, but you never know how God plans to use you to bring others closer to Him.
>I'm not saying you should use the gift of marriage as an evangelization tool, but you never know how God plans to use you to bring others closer to Him.

The Church has always discouraged marrying a non-Catholic.

While it may very well turn out that a non-Catholic spouse eventually converts, we can rely on the Church's position on the subject to know that God doesn't intend for us to use marriage as a means of conversion.
Nov 2nd 2013 new
Maybe I'm old-fashioned... (call it whatever) but I think marriage is HARD ENOUGH as it is. For me it's BOTH being Catholic~ (IMHO)
Nov 2nd 2013 new
I married a non-Catholic, lasted 14 years. He decided on his own to become catholic within 2 years after we got married in a non denominational church, then after he converted our marriage was recognized by the catholic church. Everything is possible!
Nov 2nd 2013 new
Thank you eveyone, for your replies. I'm still not sure what to do, however, I AM going to have my daughter read this thread as she is Catholic. Her father isn't and never was. Hope to get more input!

Thanks again, it is very informative. biggrin
Nov 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Bob-59786 said: There are DEFINITELY very devout non-Catholics.
Yes, and some of them are very devout wiccans,, Satanists, etc. Being very devoted to a faith that is in error may be worse than being apathetic/agnostic since you first have to overcome some/most/all of the old beliefs before building the new.

Nov 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Matt-61677 said: Dear Michelle,

Your daughter is absolutely correct to think that you are being to picky to only consider Catholic men. There have been too many successful marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics to say otherwise. I have a good, very Catholic friend who dated a non Catholic who converted. I have another who married a wonderful woman who was not. She did not convert but they are raising 5 wonderful children Catholic.

She is absolutely wrong to think that you won't find a Catholic gent. how can she see the future? Finding another Catholic means you will already be compatible on all the important points, and that's worth being a bit picky about.

Marrying outside the faith is a pretty serious business, so my advice is concentrate on finding a good Catholic, but Don,t tell a good, handsome and charming gent no just because he isn't Catholic. If you are both adults you should be able to discern if the relationship should go forward or not.

Peace in Christ,

Matt
The Church encourages Catholics to marry within the faith because of the problems that can result in other situations: both involving conflicts over raising and properly educating children in the Faith and the potential for the faith of the Catholic spouse to suffer -- or be rejected entirely.

Yes, there are some situations where God calls a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic, and one should not reject this calling because of the disparity of faith; however, such a calling is something that must be discerned on an individual basis (as should any consideration of marriage), not assumed because inter-faith marriages have worked for other people.

It should also be noted that because certain marriages appear to be working well (we can never really know what is going on) that the union was God's will for those people.

One reason the divorce rate in western societies is so high is becaue dating is treated far too casually, people develop emotional intimacy with someone they never should have been involved with in the first place, and they follow their emotions rather than reason straight to the altar -- and eventually into divorce court.

If the Church feels that marrying a Catholic spouse is important enough to require special approval in other circumstances, t would certainly be prudent for us to heed this advice rather than dismissing it because it isn't an absolute requirement. We can focus our efforts on looking for a Catholic potential spouse while not ignoring a non-Catholic if God sends such a person our way (after discerning they were dispatched by God and not other spirits with less benevolent intent).

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