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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Just gimme a chance

Nov 03 new
Hello everyone

I was wondering what your opinion was on whether or not those 5/7 people (esp those who reject the Church teaching on contraception and pre marital sex) should be given a chance? I see it in two ways: God uses many people to bring all of us closer to Him, so perhaps by a persons example (someone who holds all teachings) might somehow inspire a person who just isnt quite there to give it a shot and really look at the teaching of the Church, maybe even learning something.

On the other hand however, if that person is unwilling to change and stuck in their ways, and intends to try and get you to break from your own beliefs, then at that point you are just putting yourself into unnecessary temptation with no foreseeable fruits to come from it.

So what do you all think? Should those of 5/7 6/7 be rejected outright with no chances? Or should we give them a chance?

Thanks


Nov 03 new
(quote) Sam-948516 said: Hello everyone

I was wondering what your opinion was on whether or not those 5/7 people (esp those who reject the Church teaching on contraception and pre marital sex) should be given a chance? I see it in two ways: God uses many people to bring all of us closer to Him, so perhaps by a persons example (someone who holds all teachings) might somehow inspire a person who just isnt quite there to give it a shot and really look at the teaching of the Church, maybe even learning something.

On the other hand however, if that person is unwilling to change and stuck in their ways, and intends to try and get you to break from your own beliefs, then at that point you are just putting yourself into unnecessary temptation with no foreseeable fruits to come from it.

So what do you all think? Should those of 5/7 6/7 be rejected outright with no chances? Or should we give them a chance?

Thanks


Yes they should.A few years ago a young lady who was 6/7 No to Contraception changed her mind after one of my posts.She thanked me for being charitable towards those who were confused or not in agreement.You never know who will have a change of heart.
Nov 03 new
Yes, they should. Just ask the questions at some point. The answers may surprise you.
Nov 03 new
Thank you for the feedback
Nov 03 new
My first thought was give them a chance for what?

CM forums are a GREAT place to learn about one's faith. So is the internet. And a parish priest.

I have wonderful conversations with many via our forums, and throughout my daily life. So yes, we should always be open to conversations via a public forum, where we might be used by God to bring another closer to Him. If that happens, then we should be humbled that God has chosen to use us in this way.

But when I am considering someone to be the spiritual leader of me (and my teens) via holy matrimony, I'm looking for someone who is already as knowledgeable and obedient about our faith as I am. It's sort of hard to imagine a gent leading a family when he doesn't understand/agree with our church, no?


I do pray for my future spouse, daily. Part of what I pray for is protection, so that he may make choices that are in line with God's will as he lives his life.

But purposefully choosing to (romantically) get to know someone with the intent of making them a better Catholic is a bit prideful, and presumptuous, I think. I spend 10 months a year trying to teach children about not only academics, but how to have solid values (as much as I can do within a public school setting). I also have a similar responsibility towards my teens. To then think I would have to teach my future spouse about why Catholics don't use contraception....or other things....simply makes me sigh wearily.

On the flip side, I could see a strong, faithful Catholic gent dating a gal who isn't as strong in her faith, with the intention of leading her to be a stronger, faithful Catholic.
Nov 03 new
And the whole idea that someone chooses 'no' because they've behaved in a sinful manner years ago......well, I would also want a gent who understands verb tense....(our profile states 'I accept' not 'I have always accepted')
Nov 03 new
Interesting thoughts

You may have misunderstood what I meant though. I did not mean that somehow I would know how to say all the right things, with all the right knowledge in all the right ways to make them change their mind. Only the Holy Ghost can change and guide people.

My question was basically this: should I give a person a chance, ie go on a date or two with them, if they happen to not hold all of the teachings. We as Catholics are supposed to reach out and preach the gospel. I think it is a bit presumptuous and contrary to our faith if we dont at least try and figure out the reasons why someone may not hold these teachings and try to show them what the Church teaches in ways they understand.

If at this point you discover it is just pure selfishness, then I think you can shake the dust from your feet. And even then, why not try and stay friends with that person if a living witness of your own faith might be beneficial to them?

Pope John Paul II stated that the most effective form of evagenlization was being a living witness to the Catholic faith. If these people dont have those living witnesses in their lives, then why she we not at least offer that to them if we are in a good place with our faith? Seems to me staying to only people who believe what we believe is not doing what Christ did, ie eating with the tax collectors.


I am by no means saying I am perfect. Not even close. I am not Christ, and I do not claim to be so. But I try and live out my faith everyday and sincerely want to strengthen my faith and do the will of God.
Nov 03 new
I don't seek out those who have problems with Church teachings, but if they come to me and are willing to let me help them understand and accept what the Church teaches, I will take the time to explain what the Church teaches and attempt to correct any misconceptions. I was once spiritually illiterate too, so I understand. But any lady has to become a 7/7 before I will consider a romantic relationship.
Nov 03 new
I agree

I would not go further if they refused this as it would obviously cause problems. I meant if a girl showed interest in meeting me, but was not 7/7, should I at least talk to her and meet her and just see what the backstory is?
Nov 03 new
(quote) Johnny-975202 said: Yes, they should. Just ask the questions at some point. The answers may surprise you.
Johnny is right. Ask the questions at some point.
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