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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Nov 3rd 2013 new
I am a bit more cut and dry than you Sam, probably because of my life's experiences.

First and foremost, after being a faithful Catholic woman, I am a single parent. As wonderful as it would be to simply go out on dates with men who have a more secular bent to them....in the hopes of having conversations that might give me insight as to why they don't believe in God or our church's teachings.......wait, I've already (been there) done that. (I've gone the secular dating route, the non-Catholic but Christian route, the lax-Catholic route, and I know without a doubt that God doesn't want me compromising my faith, or my time, dating in those realms again).

And with much prayer, God has shown me that He really can provide a strong, faithful practicing Catholic man....ready to go. He's just not let me in on the timing of it all.


Just know Sam, I'm quite a bit older than you and I've been on A LOT of nonsensical dates. It can be downright scary out there.

God has my back on this dating stuff. I know He doesn't want me going out with men who will challenge my faith ( and THAT is exactly what happened 100% of the time when I dated non-practicing Catholics and non-Catholics). God knows my emotional energy is better spent elsewhere....like spending time being the spiritual leader of my family, and keeping my teens on track so I can send 3 faithful, practicing Catholics out into the world to be warriors for Christ vs. choosing to go on a date with someone I know has issues with my faith.

I've asked God for more time in my day (like maybe 30 hours a day), but so far, he's not given me that. So until I get more hours in a day, where I could then possibly have the energy to work full-time, lead my teens, AND evangelize on dates, I will stick with not sitting through dates having to be like the Karate Kid (wax on, wax off) as it pertains to my faith (and holding my ground in matters of 'expressing affection' which is something that tends to go hand and hand with men who have a weaker faith walk).

As for evangelizing.....that should always be in our forefront. We are called to be Christ's hands and feet, at all times. But for a woman to combine that with actually dating someone.....well, at least at this time in my life, I know that is not what God has planned for me.


But as I said, knowing the man is supposed to be the spiritual leader of his family, I do see how it would work for a gent like you to date a Catholic lady who isn't fully practicing, in hopes of converting her to become a strong, faithful Catholic.

Nov 4th 2013 new
(quote) Wendy-387654 said: But as I said, knowing the man is supposed to be the spiritual leader of his family, I do see how it would work for a gent like you to date a Catholic lady who isn't fully practicing, in hopes of converting her to become a strong, faithful Catholic.

I agree, Wendy. It might be quite a bit easier for the man to enlighten the woman rather than the other way around. Let's face it, us men tend to be obstinate. When I have looked at profiles of women with 5/7 or 6/7, and they agree with the infallibility of the Holy Father, then I realize that there is a disconnect in what they have learned about the faith, which presents the possibility for someone to help them on the path. In that case, I would give them a chance. For those who also disagree with papal infallibility, well, they appear to have a better understanding, while at the same time not understanding, if you know what I mean. In that case, I would steer clear.
Nov 4th 2013 new
I am not sure if it is me but feel that it is difficult to be a Catholic...not easy to be Christ disciple...however, Christ was so compassionate and not judgmental ...but most of all he embrace each one of us for who are...that we can grow in the love and trust in God.

With this mind, i truly enjoy and love CM for all that it offers i would share two blogs on this topic...The 7 Faith Questions: How Catholic are you?, posted by Erik Washam on July 16th, 2012... Doctrine & Dating: The Dreaded 7/7 Question, posted by Cate Perry on Sep 27th, 2011...

I totally agree with authors not to be discourage if their not 7/7 try to understand them - compassionate, patience and love as children of God...bc I have yet to meet anyone who is perfect as a person, we are only created in Father's image..different talent, ideas, goals, etc...unless the exception is if we are made a robot..isn't the purpose to grow in the faith in our journey ultimately to the Kingdom Heaven..this is not say that you should marry if their less than 7/7 but to give them a chance to voice their concern, lack of info on 7/7 as we all are at one point or another in our lives, and information/understanding on 7/7...why, is it that as a women, we can change our mind at any second, so then we should give someone else the same opportunity to reflect and pray to change with the proper knowledge and understanding in answering those dreaded 7/7 ...

may our loving and gentle mother heart , Blessed Virgin Mary and God bless you abundnatly with graces angel...come home safely hug Praying theheart rosary rose rose rose
Nov 4th 2013 new
(quote) Sam-948516 said: Hello everyone

I was wondering what your opinion was on whether or not those 5/7 people (esp those who reject the Church teaching on contraception and pre marital sex) should be given a chance? I see it in two ways: God uses many people to bring all of us closer to Him, so perhaps by a persons example (someone who holds all teachings) might somehow inspire a person who just isnt quite there to give it a shot and really look at the teaching of the Church, maybe even learning something.

On the other hand however, if that person is unwilling to change and stuck in their ways, and intends to try and get you to break from your own beliefs, then at that point you are just putting yourself into unnecessary temptation with no foreseeable fruits to come from it.

So what do you all think? Should those of 5/7 6/7 be rejected outright with no chances? Or should we give them a chance?

Thanks


Sam, Giving people a 'dating' chance, should uncover all sorts of things they believe or don't believe.

If someone objects to 2 out of 7 (basic) Catholic teachings, they'll probably have several more things they object to as well. So the question becomes, if you already know that someone believes only 70%--and you believe more, are you going for what you want? And are they going for what they want?

It's interesting, that a Catholic dating site would be bold enough to ask everyone whether they accept or not, Catholic teachings. I applaud CM for their gutsiness, to make us put it out there, where the whole world can see it.

Maybe CM should ask a few extra credit questions mischievous
Maybe there are 100 out of 100's. Or maybe there are 98's out of 100 or maybe 5 out of 100. wide eyed

Nov 5th 2013 new
(quote) Sam-948516 said: I agree

I would not go further if they refused this as it would obviously cause problems. I meant if a girl showed interest in meeting me, but was not 7/7, should I at least talk to her and meet her and just see what the backstory is?
As my opinion for you, you should, Sam. It's not about getting married, it's about getting to know each other for the first time, so I don't know why we shouldn't. And if you feel she's not who fit for you in terms of Faith or anything in common, at least you have a friend. Who knows if it's one of the way God uses you to inspire your friend's Faith?
Nov 5th 2013 new
simply put... Yes.
Nov 5th 2013 new
I don't write them off. I am still me though.
Nov 5th 2013 new
Yes they should.. My best friend met her husband on here..He was a 7/7 and she was a 4/7.. He gave her a chance and they have been married 7 years now.. A CM success story.

I always gave everyone a chance by at least opening up a conversation with them.. I did not reject someone based on their profile alone.. In fact I rarely rejected anyone.. I was usually on the receiving end. My husband, on the other hand, said he would not have talked to me had I not been a 7/7 or not annulled.. He was seriously here to find a wife and didn't want to take a chance on waiting for an annulment.
Nov 5th 2013 new
(quote) Genie-920495 said: I am not sure if it is me but feel that it is difficult to be a Catholic...not easy to be Christ disciple.      
Bingo! I hear it and say it myself. It's NOT easy being Catholic, but I am UP for that challenge EVERY day. highfive
Nov 5th 2013 new
(quote) Johnny-975202 said: Bingo! I hear it and say it myself. It's NOT easy being Catholic, but I am UP for that challenge EVERY day.
I like your attitude, Johnny. It isn't easy but the retirement benefits are out of this world.
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