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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Nov 10th 2013 new
(quote) Barbara-1009428 said: When you slide over the 75, ouch!, and you are young minded and full of get up and go that is a very good thing. However, finding a match is challenging. The men who sound great are either to young or live to far away. I have sent out my one sided chats and they have gone over the cliff. Once in a while I receive a nice reply and it's fun. I enjoy my side of the chat so I have to settle for that. I try to be light hearted about the process. Expect less, hope for more and as someone said on this site .......keep swimming!
I can reverse the situation. The women are too young in my own mind. When I try to make contact with a lady close to my age and within 75 miles I get no response. When I expanded my search range to cover the whole country I had a few smiles or winks from several women 10 years or more younger and up to 3000 miles distant. These are women whose profiles seem like a good match. I may be missing good opportunities because my personal belief is more than five years younger and 200 miles distant is too much. I am considering rethinking my position and trying for a long distance relationship to see where that leads. Realistically how young is too young?
Nov 11th 2013 new
I would say that I was too young......................
Nov 11th 2013 new
(quote) Ed-890453 said: I can reverse the situation. The women are too young in my own mind. When I try to make contact with a lady close to my age and within 75 miles I get no response. When I expanded my search range to cover the whole country I had a few smiles or winks from several women 10 years or more younger and up to 3000 miles distant. These are women whose profiles seem like a good match. I may be missing good opportunities because my personal belief is more than five years younger and 200 miles distant is too much. I am considering rethinking my position and trying for a long distance relationship to see where that leads. Realistically how young is too young?
Ed,

I do not know what your financial state is at this point in your life, and I don't need to. But the reason I bring it up is because long distance relationships that are proper are expensive. They also take a toll on your life because you need to step out of your life for extended periods of time to get to know a potential spouse, and that takes time. So you need to consider your health and periodic health evaluations that may or may not be already on-going. I know they are for me. And then if you do decide you like each other, who is going to relocate and up root? Getting married is already a life changing event; throw in relocation and removal from close friends, children from a previous marriage, grandchildren, a job or business, and then the choice is more difficult. All of these things need to be discussed up front in any long distance relationship. If you think it will go away, or the other will give in down the road and it has not been discussed up front, it can be heart wrenching and destroy the relationship later. The website promotes long distance relationships because there are so few potential spouses for us in many localities, and in some cases, zero, so it is conducive for their business to promote it. But make no mistake, it can be very difficult and I believe this is the main cause of more people NOT getting together on this site. It's the large elephant in the room.

I wish you well in your search.
Nov 11th 2013 new
Jim,
Thanks for your input. i believe I am aware of most of the pitfalls of a long distance relationship, but you added some that need to be considered. I am in good health for my age and though I'm not among the wealthy I believe I can handle the expenses of a long distance relationship. My main concern is the age difference. I have the fear of not being fair to someone who has lost a previous spouse should my health suddenly take a wrong turn. That is my concern of trying to build a relationship with someone a few years younger than I. That is why I ask how much younger than I is too much.
Nov 13th 2013 new
Jim, You make sense (unfortunately.) I like your reference to elephant in the room. I agree we do not have a good number of people in our own area. For me it took a few months before I got a realistic view of the site. Your comments are the best I've read for saying it like it is.
Nov 13th 2013 new
Jim, I've lost a spouse and I am taking on the challenge of trying to meet someone who would be a very good friend to start with. How young is to young? Some people are way old for their age and others are surprisingly young for their age. We all know them or have known them. I am optimistic and tend to not borrow problems. One step at a time. Cross the bridge when you come to it. I was scared as can be when I joined CM. I would hate to spell out all the scary things I was afraid of. I am glad I joined, I do not expect much and I am enjoying the time I spend on CM.
Nov 13th 2013 new
Jim, I agree with you totally on long distance relationships. However, I definitely think long distant friendships are fine. If the friendships lead to something more, okay; but isn't it also the goal of CM to meet other Catholics and share their views and ideas on things.
Nov 13th 2013 new
(quote) Barbara-1009428 said: Jim, I've lost a spouse and I am taking on the challenge of trying to meet someone who would be a very good friend to start with. How young is to young? Some people are way old for their age and others are surprisingly young for their age. We all know them or have known them. I am optimistic and tend to not borrow problems. One step at a time. Cross the bridge when you come to it. I was scared as can be when I joined CM. I would hate to spell out all the scary things I was afraid of. I am glad I joined, I do not expect much and I am enjoying the time I spend on CM.
I think you already have a very good grasp of the situation with regard to age. I will say that I know of a couple who both lost their spouses. They are the same age and they married at 83. They are each 86 now and still going strong. Suffice it to say they are both on the young side for their ages. They still travel and do things as a couple frequently. I think that after 70, to the extent that you are able to have mobility, it facilitates being able to have the strength to get to know someone se and have an active life. That is more important than the age, IMHO.
Nov 13th 2013 new
Good evening all

As far As I am concerned there is no age that is too young. I, of course I say that tongue in cheek but I believe that the majority tend to place too many impedements to finding that special one.

I met Valerie on this site and we had a F2F in 2 months. We lived 600 miles distant. She was 16 years my junior. Our first date was Zip lining across the forest of West Virginia.

The way we married is that we both decided to close the computer and see what is on the other side of the mountain . For a valued life one must challenge that life. Our society has become docile and for the most part we expect everything to be handed to us. The joy and happiness of success is knowing that we did it ourselves.

While our marriage of 5 1/2 months was a most joyful event the horror of her death reminded all of us that she went to the Heavenly garden holding her head high knowing that she gave life every effort humanly possible. It doesn't get any better than that.

Yes, I am back on CM and am talking to several lovely Ladies, and yes they are considerably younger than I. Who cares? What road blocks do you think should be placed in our way? Tell me why I/we should not, with all our capabilities, walk the balance of our lives in a joyful relationship?

I am still walking the walk and will till the day I make that Heavenly journey. I shall never place any barrier in my path that would inhibit my success. I have always been taught that "If you want it you must go and get it yourself". Nothing is free. Not even love.

Speaking of love, I wish all, God's love

Philip


Nov 14th 2013 new
(quote) Jim-624621 said: Ed,

I do not know what your financial state is at this point in your life, and I don't need to. But the reason I bring it up is because long distance relationships that are proper are expensive. They also take a toll on your life because you need to step out of your life for extended periods of time to get to know a potential spouse, and that takes time. So you need to consider your health and periodic health evaluations that may or may not be already on-going. I know they are for me. And then if you do decide you like each other, who is going to relocate and up root? Getting married is already a life changing event; throw in relocation and removal from close friends, children from a previous marriage, grandchildren, a job or business, and then the choice is more difficult. All of these things need to be discussed up front in any long distance relationship. If you think it will go away, or the other will give in down the road and it has not been discussed up front, it can be heart wrenching and destroy the relationship later. The website promotes long distance relationships because there are so few potential spouses for us in many localities, and in some cases, zero, so it is conducive for their business to promote it. But make no mistake, it can be very difficult and I believe this is the main cause of more people NOT getting together on this site. It's the large elephant in the room.

I wish you well in your search.
LDR's work if you work them someone has to be able to move at some point.....better make that CLEAR from the get go or you are looking at a world of pain.
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