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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 12th 2013 new
(quote) Michael-780154 said: But wait! So many women here never reply!

If you're in a relationship, say so (in your profile). Otherwise, we guys expect you're on here for the same reason we are and expect a response.. Ladies, it is rude to not reply when a man has taken the time and thought to write you a message.

Just my $0.02.
It, sadly, happens more often than not.
Nov 12th 2013 new
(quote) Johnny-975202 said: Marge.....I keep finding it interesting that no matter what the title of the subject is, it still circles around to the same thing. I'm thinking it is probably true for the folks that have been here for years.
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
I've been here off and on since 2005, and people STILL aren't actually reaching out to each other. Too busy over-analyzing and thinking up flimsy excuses to not contact anyone.
Nov 12th 2013 new
Well...at least you both tried.

flower
Nov 12th 2013 new
clap

Bow
Nov 12th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
 Too busy over-analyzing and thinking up flimsy excuses to not contact anyone.
It's like a broken record... smile
Nov 12th 2013 new
"As I see it, the main point is that men have to be able to be moved by the woman's voice, tones and other aspects of her personal presence in such a way that she senses that she has moved them even if her ignition causes things previously dormant quickly to become active in men."

Does a woman know what it is in her 'inner beauty' that has reached into a man and pulled him towards her? Does she know what her 'inner beauty' (ie,. not her surface flash, and her possibly very temporary surface flash, at that) is? Does she know that the man has been stirred by it?

The temporary surface flash is Cinderella at the ball. The day-to-day Cinderella has no makeup, wears cast-offs and lives a secluded workhouse existence with no opportunities to polish her latent shine. The shoe fit only confirmed her identity. It didn't hide the surface squalor of her life, visibly apparent to the royal party. If they actually did live happily ever after, in a meaningful sense, what about her latent shine did the prince see?
Nov 12th 2013 new
(quote) Roystan-340472 said: "As I see it, the main point is that men have to be able to be moved by the woman's voice, tones and other aspects of her personal presence in such a way that she senses that she has moved them even if her ignition causes things previously dormant quickly to become active in men."

Does a woman know what it is in her 'inner beauty' that has reached into a man and pulled him towards her? Does she know what her 'inner beauty' (ie,. not her surface flash, and her possibly very temporary surface flash, at that) is? Does she know that the man has been stirred by it?

The temporary surface flash is Cinderella at the ball. The day-to-day Cinderella has no makeup, wears cast-offs and lives a secluded workhouse existence with no opportunities to polish her latent shine. The shoe fit only confirmed her identity. It didn't hide the surface squalor of her life, visibly apparent to the royal party. If they actually did live happily ever after, in a meaningful sense, what about her latent shine did the prince see?
He saw her capacity to believe in fairy tales.....to believe in Him.
Nov 12th 2013 new
(quote) Roystan-340472 said: ... The thing to note here is that, unless men can have a moment of passivity, the woman can't get inside to lift men's inactive potentialities into life.

Like being still and listening for the Spirit? But being still is not being passive-inert but stilling the other calls upon your attention in order actively to listen for something.


...men have to be able to be moved by the woman's voice, tones and other aspects of her personal presence in such a way that she senses that she has moved them ....


As in actively and reflectively listening, ie., listening to what the woman is doing verbally and nonverbally and reflecting her back to herself, so she knows that whether or not she has moved you ('moved' as in the sense of being emotionally affected in her favour), you, at least, are moving with her in the sense that you are following what she is communicating?


All of the above needs to be done with finesse as talking like an amateur psychoanalyst may irritate rather than flatter your listener.


Roystan declaimed: But being still is not being passive-inert but stilling the other calls upon your attention in order actively to listen for something.

But I already explained this thusly: Certainly men will not have the deepest kind of passivity characteristic of inanimate objects such as autumn leaves blown about by the winds only to return to motionlessness when the air currents subside.

Roystan asked: As in actively and reflectively listening, ...?

I answer: I think that if a man has developed to a certain level of social and psychological growth, this all happens unconsciously in an almost effortless way. This kind of unconsciousness does not detract by being the same as thoughtlessness or indifference though. Here's an analogy in a form that includes some admittedly artificial aspects.

One man says to himself, "I will now deliberately and consciously look at that palm tree and continue to look for several seconds". While walking along, a second man happens to notice the palm tree and continues to look at it for several seconds. Just because the second man's looking was not planned and thoughtful does not mean that he takes in less of the beauty of the tree - and maybe he takes in more because little or none of his internal energies are drained off by all of the conscious and deliberate efforts of the first man.

Roystan proclaims: All of the above needs to be done with finesse as talking like an amateur psychoanalyst may irritate rather than flatter your listener.

I explain: The word "finesse" sounds too deliberate. As long as there is too much conscious involvement, as the case with someone consciously trying to show finesse, it will still fall short of the realness that can flow effortlessly from someone with enough social-psychological growth.

Trying to make plain what other just claim, eyebrow cool

John



Nov 12th 2013 new
(quote) Susan-857876 said: to both of you I say ???? [and english is my first language]
Really? May I ask of this Canuck exactly how she got stuck and I will pluck from further use what to her seemed quite obtuse.
Nov 12th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: You are (once again, old pal) over-thinking things.

Someone sends someone else a message, to which the party of the second part responds. That's smart business, and good manners, and "gettin' her done".

Too many CMers (I dunno why -- gun shy?) spend too much time thinking and not enough time doing.

My thought was largely for the doers who need to tone down the doing at certain critical moments. There are already plenty of complaints about the lack of doing and loads of advice about the "doings" needed to reduce this problem. Your words, "not enough time doing" add to the store of "more action" recommendations.

I did not intend to say that the admonitions about doing are not important, but I just want to point out a different need that less often mentioned. I'd guess that for many men it is more difficult to meet the need to be more passive at apprropriate times than it is to fulfill the requirement to be active most of the time.





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