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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 12th 2013 new
I am pretty easy going and have been ignored by most message posts so you are not alone! I'm not sure why people sign up for the sites if they don't seriously want to meet people...I think your two cents is worth much more...don't sell yourself short...inflation you know! 😉
Nov 12th 2013 new
I am pretty easy going and have been ignored by most message posts so you are not alone! I'm not sure why people sign up for the sites if they don't seriously want to meet people...I think your two cents is worth much more...don't sell yourself short...inflation you know! 😉
Nov 12th 2013 new
(quote) Ann-69118 said: Well John it's pretty simple really. Either someone is here with serious intentions, just to window shop or thinks they are here for serious intentions but for whatever reason just can't commit. I'm not saying any or all of these just apply to men either. The key is discerning who is serious and who is not and really the only way to tell that is time and the consistancy of their actions. Does what the person say match what they do and vice versa. The important thing is for everyone to treate each other with respect according to christian values during the process.
Hi Ann,

Thanks for making the effort to post your view. You seem to be concentrating mainly on ethical matters such as being respectful and honest. I was focusing on the social and psychological.

What you wrote was worthwhile, but not to the point I was making.

If I were to ask you my question directly, it would go something like this, "Assume that you determined over time that a man was not lacking in being ethical or in being socially active in relation to you. Would it still be possible that you could find him unsuitable if he was not able to be more passive in those moments when you really wanted him to hear what you were saying at a deep level?"

Sounding the depths for an echo, cool

John






Nov 12th 2013 new
well I fixated on the word 'finesse' this time...........I feel like playing bridge now...... cool
Nov 12th 2013 new
There is such a thing as "active listening". Passivity is not required for either gender.
Rather, genuine focus and intense willingness to hear in the example given here the woman's deeper feelings can be shown not only in stillness on the part of the man...but in action!
For example: Echo feedback-He can repeat back her words to her, for example..
"What I hear you saying is..."
or perhaps asking for clarification, such as:
"Did I hear you say...? "
Also asking for direct help in understanding:
"I am not really understanding WHY this is so dear to your heart...Can you help me understand you more accurately, dear?"

So rather than requiring passivity, that is, being quiet and laid back and just receiving other's words.... perhaps using active listening skills can help male-female communication?

Nov 12th 2013 new
I think it is equally very rude when I take the time to write a gentleman a message and he does not even reply negatively or positively.
Nov 12th 2013 new
Over or under troubled waters?
Nov 12th 2013 new
(quote) Judy-839063 said: I think it is equally very rude when I take the time to write a gentleman a message and he does not even reply negatively or positively.
Bingo!
Nov 12th 2013 new
(quote) Roystan-340472 said: Over or under troubled waters?
I said bridge not tunnel
Nov 12th 2013 new
I see. But isn't fixating on something a kind of tunnel vision?
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