Thanks for making the effort to post your view. You seem to be concentrating mainly on ethical matters such as being respectful and honest. I was focusing on the social and psychological.
What you wrote was worthwhile, but not to the point I was making.
If I were to ask you my question directly, it would go something like this, "Assume that you determined over time that a man was not lacking in being ethical or in being socially active in relation to you. Would it still be possible that you could find him unsuitable if he was not able to be more passive in those moments when you really wanted him to hear what you were saying at a deep level?"
Sounding the depths for an echo,
Rather, genuine focus and intense willingness to hear in the example given here the woman's deeper feelings can be shown not only in stillness on the part of the man...but in action!
For example: Echo feedback-He can repeat back her words to her, for example..
"What I hear you saying is..."
or perhaps asking for clarification, such as:
"Did I hear you say...? "
Also asking for direct help in understanding:
"I am not really understanding WHY this is so dear to your heart...Can you help me understand you more accurately, dear?"
So rather than requiring passivity, that is, being quiet and laid back and just receiving other's words.... perhaps using active listening skills can help male-female communication?