la dee dee la dee da.
I opine: I have never been consciously aware of the point about which you ask. I have no considered answer.
Roystan posed: Does she know what her 'inner beauty' (ie,. not her surface flash, and her possibly very temporary surface flash, at that) is?
I reply: I have never been consciously aware of the point about which you ask. I have no considered answer.
Roystan inquired: Does she know that the man has been stirred by it?
I say: I have never been consciously aware of the point about which you ask. I have no considered answer.
Roystan declaimed: The temporary surface flash is Cinderella at the ball. The day-to-day Cinderella has no makeup, wears cast-offs and lives a secluded workhouse existence with no opportunities to polish her latent shine. The shoe fit only confirmed her identity. It didn't hide the surface squalor of her life, visibly apparent to the royal party. If they actually did live happily ever after, in a meaningful sense, what about her latent shine did the prince see?
I reply: Could be so, but I know not.
Rather, genuine focus and intense willingness to hear in the example given here the woman's deeper feelings can be shown not only in stillness on the part of the man...but in action!
For example: Echo feedback-He can repeat back her words to her, for example..
"What I hear you saying is..."
or perhaps asking for clarification, such as:
"Did I hear you say...? "
Also asking for direct help in understanding:
"I am not really understanding WHY this is so dear to your heart...Can you help me understand you more accurately, dear?"
So rather than requiring passivity, that is, being quiet and laid back and just receiving other's words.... perhaps using active listening skills can help male-female communication?
Even your form of "active listening" requires some moments of that less active activity that we call, "listening" because it is needed to allow the words and feelings of the speaker to enter the listener in such as way that the listener is moved - and is moved is precisely passive as opposed to moves by self's own power, which is precisely active.
Since some psychological experts recommend the learning of active listening skills, I imagine that they are worthwhile, but I was just trying to point out the problems of concentrating solely on the more active and forgetting about the passive - or the less active if some insist on actively trying to disallow the concept of passivity.