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Singles discussion related to wedding planning, engagement, and married life should be posted in this room.

Saint Valentine is patron saint of love, young people, and happy marriages.
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Nov 16th 2013 new
A funny tounge and cheek. Huff post usually annoys me, but this made me grin. However my pet peeve wasn't on the list. Drying the ladies undergarments including hose by drying them over the shower rod. Then again I thought it was a great scene in " The goodbye girl".

Cats/ dogs. Eh. I grew up with both. They all stayed outside though. Zyrtec is all I need to handle the both.
Nov 16th 2013 new
oh my word.............I am giggling.........I've lived in lots of places where we had only a washer. Where is one to dry things mischievous but one can be discreet ?
Nov 16th 2013 new
My ex used to run a lot and his clothes would get soaked with sweat -- he decided to hang a clothesline right outside the side door, which was very visible to the busy road out front, and hang his wet t-shirt, shorts, and underwear out there! Our kids were embarrassed and disgusted -- our second son so much so that he went out and took down the clothesline, risking his father's wrath.
I hang all laundry to dry, but do it discreetly! No hanging embarrassing things in other's sight or way!
Jan 8th 2014 new
Something that's not as obvious that I've read to discuss is where and with whom holidays will be celebrated. So much tradition is steeped in holidays that this could definitely be a point of contention and hurt year after year.
Jan 8th 2014 new

None of these thing make or break a marriage, but they are the things that can build up and explode in your face if not dealt with. I was given a book as a wedding gift called "Socks on the Floor." It was great. It was a month's worth of these little nigglers. We read it each day. There was a bible verse to reflect on and prayers to say together. We were able to talk about so many little things so they never became a big deal. I gave it to a young co-worker when he got married.
Come to think of it, had it talked about newspapers in the floor, there would have been nothing at all to argue about. Ha ha!

Jan 9th 2014 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: These are kind of funny, but kind of serious too! What else can you think of to ensure domestic bliss?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/09/marriage-advice_n_4236592.html
This was great. Pete and I had to work out a number of these lol. . . breakfast for dinner was one of them. The first time I cooked breakfast for dinner he was totally flabberghasted, so much so, he actually sputtered. I told him, listen you eat anything in the fridge and have food poisoning like a dozen times since we got married and you are going to complain about breakfast for dinner? The funny thing is he eventually warmed to it and would ask for it lol. And, he could not, could not wait for presents. . . and forget gift wrapping for anyone.

Thread count for sheets, I finally found some 500 thread count sheets on sale at Ross and brought them home. . . he had a whole new appreciation for sheets after that, but I could never get him to let me make the bed by tucking the sheets in, he hated his feet being pinned lol. . .so he would kick them free, my side you could just pull up and make but his side was a train wreck.

Thrift store shopping was something I was not comfortable with at all, but he eased me into it, especially when he would point out I could buy work clothes for him that cost hardly anything and since he worked in fields that were particularly hard on work clothes that worked. Also, great for finding costume stuff and trinkets.

I used to drive him nuts with how I drove. I would remind him I had no accidents and he would remind me he was a professional driver lol. I hate to make left turns without a light, he loved them. We would go to the same place and go the exact opposite ways. I wondered sometimes if it was because he was left handed and I was right handed.

I used to remind him that my little quirks that so irritate him would be the things he missed about me when I was gone. And, it's true, I miss those annoying little things --- like his addiction to rotisserie chickens, or top ramen, or popcorn. The way he'd come in and take off his work boots right inside the front door -- kicking his sheets free and hogging not only the bed but the blankets and the pillows -- which he insisted he never used lol. . .

He was so particular about how he dressed. When we were first married, I would pretend to still be asleep so I could watch him get dressed for work in the morning :-). . . loved that.


Jan 9th 2014 new

Wow. Most of these are awfully shallow. Honestly, anyone who makes an issue of which way the toilet paper hangs is wound 'way too tight. rolling eyes

I agree, nearly all are things to discuss (note I do not say "agree on") before marriage.

But most of them don't matter.

Here's what I think really matters:
- What are your moral boundaries?
(church attendance, fidelity, financial dealings, violence, charity, sex practices, family planning, etc.)
- What are your daily living imperatives?
(pets, visitors, in-laws)?

Everything else goes into the category of "Hey, that's interesting. Let's work it out case by case when it happens."




Jan 9th 2014 new
I think compromise is key in life. We're all unique human beings...if one or both people are rigid and controlling it can be a flag for more serious problems on the horizon....
Jan 10th 2014 new
(quote) Lauren-927923 said: This was great. Pete and I had to work out a number of these lol. . . breakfast for dinner was one of them. The first time I cooked breakfast for dinner he was totally flabberghasted, so much so, he actually sputtered. I told him, listen you eat anything in the fridge and have food poisoning like a dozen times since we got married and you are going to complain about breakfast for dinner? The funny thing is he eventually warmed to it and would ask for it lol. And, he could not, could not wait for presents. . . and forget gift wrapping for anyone.

Thread count for sheets, I finally found some 500 thread count sheets on sale at Ross and brought them home. . . he had a whole new appreciation for sheets after that, but I could never get him to let me make the bed by tucking the sheets in, he hated his feet being pinned lol. . .so he would kick them free, my side you could just pull up and make but his side was a train wreck.

Thrift store shopping was something I was not comfortable with at all, but he eased me into it, especially when he would point out I could buy work clothes for him that cost hardly anything and since he worked in fields that were particularly hard on work clothes that worked. Also, great for finding costume stuff and trinkets.

I used to drive him nuts with how I drove. I would remind him I had no accidents and he would remind me he was a professional driver lol. I hate to make left turns without a light, he loved them. We would go to the same place and go the exact opposite ways. I wondered sometimes if it was because he was left handed and I was right handed.

I used to remind him that my little quirks that so irritate him would be the things he missed about me when I was gone. And, it's true, I miss those annoying little things --- like his addiction to rotisserie chickens, or top ramen, or popcorn. The way he'd come in and take off his work boots right inside the front door -- kicking his sheets free and hogging not only the bed but the blankets and the pillows -- which he insisted he never used lol. . .

He was so particular about how he dressed. When we were first married, I would pretend to still be asleep so I could watch him get dressed for work in the morning :-). . . loved that.


Hi Lauren

Gotta agree with you on the left turn lights, mainly during business/rush hours. Hadn't ever considered it from dominant hand angle.... My kids did have questions as to the different routes my former spouse and I would choose in driving from home to the same local destination lol !
Jan 11th 2014 new

biggrin Thanks for sharing with us, Lauren. It made me smile, just recollecting the sometimes frivolous things that we "discussed" and adapted to in our marriage, too.

Like Marge said, it's so important to cover the most ethical issues before marriage, but it's those "little, habitual things" that seem to wreak havoc later on. We found that having a sense of humor and adventure helped us out a lot! wink

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