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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Nov 15th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: You haven't met me or my kids.

Perhaps what I mean to say is, it's possible to draw upon the best features of fathering and mothering and employ them equally well.

BTW, my deceased husband was a stay-at-home parent and a much better "mother" than I ever was.
GBU sweetie.................I guess guilt is a 'many splendored thing' in my case
Nov 17th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: You haven't met me or my kids.

Perhaps what I mean to say is, it's possible to draw upon the best features of fathering and mothering and employ them equally well.

BTW, my deceased husband was a stay-at-home parent and a much better "mother" than I ever was.
Marge, it's not about you personally. Men and women are not interchangeable as parents. This isn't to disparage those who are forced by circumstances to do their best to fill both roles, nor is it to deny that some women are better at fixing things than their husbands or some men are better at cooking than their wives; it is simply an ontological reality that men and women are different and have different roles in the family. Not that one is better than the other, just different.

Nov 24th 2013 new
  • Susan, you certainly have a lot on your plate and, without a doubt, a heart of gold. I will pray for you and your family that you are given all you need when you need it. Your choice to be a single parent was brave and generous in my book. It is not an easy task. As much as we long for them to have that male influence to help direct them, it isn't always in the plan. So, with all our love, we do the best we can. Some of the finest men I know were raised solely by their mothers and have gone on to become outstanding parents.I feel strongly that God puts people in our path to help us along.
  • My parents divorced, but I saw strong marriages in other families and used that as my ideal. My son gets a lot of attention from his uncles and his friend's dads. I hear constantly about what a great kid he is. (I have to agree.) I can't be his dad, but I do try to set the standards for him to achieve the integrity of his father, to share the knowledge he had on certain things, provide spiritual guidance and experience the things his dad taught me. The rest I look to God the father to provide.
Nov 24th 2013 new
For a while, my s-i-l was helpful but this young man drains the life out of you so quickly.

[refusing any medical intervention or recommendation]


You know the ''bumper sticker saying that kids should move out while they still know everything''.

Treatment requires 'participation' and 'availability'. It's hard to smile of make jokes about a boy who throws all opportunities and offers of assistance out the window.
Nov 30th 2013 new
My son was fourteen when his dad walked out of his life. He was struggling. He refused counselling. He swore he didn't have a problem. I spoke to his principal. The principal put my son in classes and situations where he had a positive male role model. He was also stalked by his stepmother. His father remained out of the picture until my son turned twenty one. Then only to express is disappointment in him. My son was blessed. He found someone he could trust to talk to. I know I live and work in a different state than you are in but there are other options besides a big brother. I work with several men who mentor young men between 18 and 24, especially those who were part of the foster program.

And on a side note: On father's day this year, my son thanked me for being the best parent any boy could have.

Nov 30th 2013 new
well in my therapy session at the ice arena tonight. [another mom listens and her fees are low rolling eyes]
This boy is not out of the woods yet. But progress is coming, and he is an adult.
Dec 1st 2013 new
I would love to hear more about moms have managed it. I have a 14 year old son. He is my oldest in a household full of girls (only sisters) and his father is not at all involved in his life. :( I am struggling mightily to be both a mother and a father. We don't have any close friends in our new city and although my father tries to fill in as much as possible it's hard because he is older. We do have close friends who keep in contact and try to keep up with my son and guide him but from hundreds of miles away it is difficult.

My son has been through so much over the last year and desperately needs a male influence in his life but I am at a loss.
Dec 2nd 2013 new
GBU Rosemary.

My youngest has shifted some but the big S word is always in my prayer agenda.
[he makes lousy choices and seems stuck]

thankfully his hockey coach and his boss adore him--
Dec 2nd 2013 new
hi Becky

my youngest always quit 'almost everything' which was frustrating
as there are no available males 'patient enough' for my son.

thankfully, his mother loves ice hockey. [many $$$$$ and early mornings and late nights rolling eyes]
Dec 26th 2013 new
As a single mom to a 7 year old I can say no matter what i do, i will never have the effect a "dad" would have on my son. I've taught him all the "boy" stuff and will continue to read books for dads on raising sons and try to implement what i can. However, there is a noted difference in the behaviour/reaction of my son when there is a male around. I believe he will still grow into a great young man (i work and pray hard for that as the end result) but there is a void I will never fill. The sad part is that he feels that void and shares his wishes to fill it often. This is the second year a "dad" is on his Christmas wish list. We laugh every day, we build lego kits together, i've taught him to throw and catch a football and fish! I can say he is happy; I KNOW he is happy...but, there are things that only a constant male figure can provide. Quite a bit is unspoken but no less important. The mere presence of a "dad" challenges a son to rise to bravery, show strength, challenge his fears as well as demonstrate respect and the results of gentlemanly beaviour. It is not impossible to raise a son without a dad...it's just harder.
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