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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Jan 29th 2014 new
(quote) Susan-857876 said: you guessed it..............this is my biggest source of 'catholic guilt'.

Of course these forums and my recent study choices have helped in this regard,
[not to mention several thousands spent of therapy] but the bottom line
is I cannot be both mom and dad. I am not a widow.............I adopted two brothers for my daughter.

Susan

Trying to raise boys without a father is difficult. I tried for along time to encourage my boys father to participate in their upbringing and be more engaging. There was no throwing a football around, no instruction on grooming rituals, or 1 on 1 talks about anything.

After 16 years I realized it was not working and called it quits. The Catholic guilt set in for separating my kids from their father. I encouraged him to visit the kids often, but is was not working out. Two months later, he suffered a triple stroke and had temporary paralysis and memory loss. I could not stand to see the kids worry about their fathers health, so he moved back in. His recovery was slow. He laughed and cried hysterically many nights while trying to learn how to read and write again. For the next two years I cared for him, but the relationship with the boys never improved.

The boys still seemed to be without their father, but after all he was physically there right?

I completely understand the Catholic Guilt thing. I wanted their father to be in their life's to the point I was giving up mine. We have since parted ways and he recovered reasonably well considering what happened.

Growing up, my father was hands on about teaching us the Catholic faith as well as discussing life's matters. When he had a woodworking project, I was always by his side. It did not matter that I was a girl, he put me to work. So I do not think my sons should feel the lesser because their father cannot show them how to build things. My father said I must teach them what he has taught me. They know that he loves them like a father.

I have given my boys everything except a father who will be there for them. Our parish priest gave me some words of encouragement when he reminded me that God is our eternal father and he watches over all his children.

Jan 29th 2014 new
I still battle Catholic Guilt, had no idea when I divorced in 2010 w/it final in 2011 that it would basically cause their father to just not engage or keep in touch much. He basically leaves it up to children to reach out and call him. Never can I bring them over (NOT THAT I WOULD) because he is unmarried and living w/a woman, I also dont have an address for him. Can you say TEXT BOOK narcissist??? Bow

I have 4 kids. 2 boys ( 20, 12 ) and 2 girls (13, 18)....I really struggle with this and try to promote that God in Heaven is our Father when our earthly one is not present. But this really doesnt help I dont think. I mean Birthdays come and go, even Christmas, no cards , no calls. He's a real pc of work.

My younger 2 I worry the most about, the older 2 sadly have engrossed themselves in their signigicant others and have lengthy on an off relations with them ( unhealthy and obsessive ) and I simply cant control it.

My son, 12, is a great kid, smart, athletic and witty - coaches fight over him at drafts, and his own DAD isnt even around. I can feel my blood boil and emotions flood as I write this.

I feel you pain fellow Sister in Christ and may we offer up our pain and suffering of ourselves but mostly for our children who did not deserve or ask for this type of neglect.....

peace N hugs.... hug Praying
Jan 29th 2014 new

Rebecca

One of the hardest things to do is to endure and move forward. Your right, we have to give it up to God.

angel angel angel



Feb 20th 2014 new
I tend to agree. I was married to my children's father for 20+ years where we had to put up with "Does he want to be a dad today? Great!" or "Does he not want to be a dad today? Proceed with caution" so I've had to try to be there for my children as both mom and dad. Our divorce was final in April 2012 and by Aug. 2012 he was in a serious rollover car accident, died just past the 1 year anniversary of his car accident. Now, granted my kids are young adults but, their not having a consistent dad in their life has paid its toll, and now that he has passed on it's twice as hard. Many a time I wish my son had a male to go talk to about his girlfriend problems, but he doesn't, and I find there is only so much I can say that he wants to hear. My girls, who struggle with friendships and even finding dating relationships, have no positive male role model in their life to help steer their direction. My dad, brother, and brother-in-law do try to take an interest in their lives but there's a limit as Dad is getting older and forgetful and my brother and brother-in-law have their own families they are devoted to. Being both the Mom and Dad to my children is a feat I accomplish, but it is not the same as them having an earthly father figure in their lives.
Feb 22nd 2014 new
Real and courageous men of God (plug watch the Christian movie called "Courageous") love and care for their children. I don't have a son but a nephew and I love him dearly. Now I don't see him often because his mom and dad (my brother) moved to another state a few years ago but I try to spend time with the boy and my niece as much as possible when they come to visit. I don't respect a man who neglects his kids and I also don't respect a mother that keeps the kids away from a dad that wants to be around unless he is a danger or a bad influence on them. I have a daughter and I have loved her since before she was born and I will forever and I see her every week. I can't see my life without her being the most important part of it. God bless all divorcees and the devoted moms and dads out there.
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