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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Roystan-340472 said: I guess asking for yourself in matters of love is part of asking for your daily bread, all of those things and comforts that are needed to function with dignity, and of which you should not be ashamed to ask for oneself as they are precisely the things you would want for others.
Yes, Initially it seems self centered rather than selfless prayer, but as you said one would not wish less for others. Beautiful explanation, Roystan, and I understood! faint laughing
Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Sandra-202758 said: I have a broken chooser. Always picking the wrong men. Something is the matter with me.
Still a work in progress.
Sandra, my sister, we are all a work in progress. Its our reality as humans. That is the reason I used the term flaw, meaning imperfection, which we all have. Only our precious Savior is flawless/no blemishes. Honest self assessment, self reflection, a desire to change--motivation., and above all, prayer is the pathway to change.
In terms of mate choices, we are daughters of God and we deserve to be treated no less than that which is becoming of His daughter. Sometimes it takes us a while to, in the words of the scripture, "choose wisely," we have to learn how to choose wisely and we can do that best when we know who we are and whose we are. When we humbly recognize we are a work in progress, God has our attention. That is a good thing biggrin
Dec 14th 2013 new

Hmmmm. What flaws of my own have I fixed? I consider smoking a flaw I used to have. I quit smoking cold turkey on cold turkey day 1976. Not one puff since. I guess I could count that. Im sure glad I quit but it was not easy. For the first ten years, I thought I was going to die.

Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-679620 said: Josephine, I totally agree that as women we are inclined to "fixing." We are nurturers, but like you stated, it can be emotionally draining when we don't have a healthy balance. I will say that our "helping" nature often leads us to pursue "helping" professions. When we choose these professions, then we must remember not to allow our clients/patients' lives intertwine with our personal lives--i.e., bringing the work home. Out of curiosity, are you in a helping profession also?

Yes. I'm a special ed teacher. I currently work with preschoolers with developmental delays. I don't take my work home with me, but it's hard because my student's parents seem to be more in need of emotional support than my students and I don't turn them away when they call.
Dec 14th 2013 new

I can relate, Daniel! Actually, I thought it was going to be my husband that wouldn't survive my quiting. I was tempted to write a book called "Quiting Smoking During PMS and the Husband That Survived It."

I haven't really dated enough to have a history of failures. I am flawed though, so that part fits. I guess when I was younger I lacked self-confidence and found myself in controlling relationships because it was familiar. Rather than get out, I learned to assert myself. (This is still a work in progress.) Maturity has shown me that I am a worthwhile person and widowhood has brought enough growth spurts to fuel my independence.

Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Tara-703107 said: Not true, Lina. You're beautiful, inside and out.
I'll drink to that
Dec 15th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-679620 said: What is a past flaw that was the demise of your relationship(s). For me, I am a "fixer" by nature. I learned the hard way that: somethings I cannot fix, some things are the responsibility of others to fix, and a man's pride is an important part of him, accept it and move on, he doesn't want you to fix situations.
I had a strong crush in college on a girl that was in the Miss Teen USA pageant that was from my high school and attended the same college as me. I'm not sure why I used to try dating women that were so beautiful and intelligent and passed up women that were pursuing me. I don't think that I'm as much as a perfectionist as I used to be.
Dec 15th 2013 new
I used to have rigid and stubborn ways of thinking in regards to lifestyle like living preferences, i.e whether I'd end up in an urban area or suburban,...I used to come out with those opinions right off the bat in conversations. I came across as overly opinionated and set and this turned a lot of people off. As I've grown I've come to realize that being too opinionated and set in my ways may attract a few but it turns off a whole slew of people that I might click with if I'd just monitor myself a bit more.

So now while I still have opinions about things I don't express them I ways that make it seem like they would never change. Besides I've found that my perspectives can be easily changed so now I am way more fluid in how I think.
Dec 16th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-679620 said: What is a past flaw that was the demise of your relationship(s). For me, I am a "fixer" by nature. I learned the hard way that: somethings I cannot fix, some things are the responsibility of others to fix, and a man's pride is an important part of him, accept it and move on, he doesn't want you to fix situations.

Hi Joan,

I can mention an improvement that is related to communication. If a woman gets angry, I now realize something about which I was not previously aware. Her anger means that, instead of hiding how she feels, she shows it. I now realize that any deep relationship requires that both parties feel comfortable in communicating their feelings and so a woman's feeling free to show anger and other unpleasant emotions means that she has one characteristic needed for the real communication needed for a deep relationship, communicating what she feels. Of course, the possession of the ability to express anger is not by itself enough for a deep relationship. It's just one necessary aspect.

I'd call my progress in this matter a point of growth. The previous lack of insight about anger was never the cause leading to the end of a relationship.

John


Dec 16th 2013 new

I'd call my progress in this matter a point of growth.


cool



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