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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 16th 2013 new
(quote) Daniel-1056 said:

Hmmmm. What flaws of my own have I fixed? I consider smoking a flaw I used to have. I quit smoking cold turkey on cold turkey day 1976. Not one puff since. I guess I could count that. Im sure glad I quit but it was not easy. For the first ten years, I thought I was going to die.

Daniel, i couldn't help stopping by and giving you kudos for quitting the habit. No telling how many years you added to your life You get a Gold Star! You get a Gold Star! You get a Gold Star!
Dec 16th 2013 new
(quote) Josephine-586127 said:
Yes. I'm a special ed teacher. I currently work with preschoolers with developmental delays. I don't take my work home with me, but it's hard because my student's parents seem to be more in need of emotional support than my students and I don't turn them away when they call.
God bless you and your student. I really admire educators and being a special ed teacher is especially amazing! I applaud your dedication angel
Dec 16th 2013 new
(quote) Ronald-937125 said: I had a strong crush in college on a girl that was in the Miss Teen USA pageant that was from my high school and attended the same college as me. I'm not sure why I used to try dating women that were so beautiful and intelligent and passed up women that were pursuing me. I don't think that I'm as much as a perfectionist as I used to be.
Ronald, I think most of us have been fascinated with the physical in our past. Luckily, we live & learn, hopefully. When the wrinkles come and things start sagging, that which is left is what matters. Then, we will know who or what we truly have by our side:)
Dec 16th 2013 new
(quote) Barbara-863769 said: Oh, Anne, I just learned that in some minor conflict/ awkward situations, it is easiest to maintain open communication without the negativity if you make "I" statements: I felt uncomfortable...when...thus and such. or I feel let down when you don't....whatever". and say it as graciously as you'd like...

We are all works in progress--isn't that the truth? God is NOT finished with me yet, for certain!
What she said wink
Dec 16th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-679620 said: Margaret, do you mind sharing how that manifested itself as a problem and how much distance are we talking about?
It manifests itself as a problem when I am told I live too far away and the gent has a hard time dealing with it. The distances have ranged from as short as 300 miles to however far away Sydney NSW is from my area.
Dec 17th 2013 new
Thank you for a great question. When I was 30, I fought hard against the thought that I would never marry - that time was running out. I married after a courtship of 10 months. I've come to believe that for me, this was far too short a time to really know someone. The difference today is, it would not bother me never to marry again. Today I would make certain to court a woman for at least 2 years. It is important to me to find the best match that I possibly can, if I can, and leave the rest to God. You wished to know my flaw, and that flaw to me (among many) is the most meaningful. The one I wish I had never succumbed to.
Dec 17th 2013 new
The way I look at it, I try to date someone roughly in the same attractiveness category. Because it's painful to see your sig other always getting hit on by others, and the converse is true, if it's happening to them. Less wondering if one has the opportunity to cheat, etc. And you're less insecure when you're around someone similar to you, and you aren't wondering if you aren't good enough for them. Maybe as we age, anxiety is not something we want to live with--life is too short.
Dec 17th 2013 new
I read your posts to get some tips, lol I'm still working on one of my big flaws: being more careful of words said during confrontation, when I need to think the issue through more thoroughly. Thank you for your ideas, and I must say, I admire the beauty in both of you ladies.
Dec 17th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-679620 said: Ronald, I think most of us have been fascinated with the physical in our past. Luckily, we live & learn, hopefully. When the wrinkles come and things start sagging, that which is left is what matters. Then, we will know who or what we truly have by our side:)
Yes, and I guess that's why it may be harder to get married when you are over 50. I thought that I had a lot of things in common with someone who is 50 and I think it is her physical appearance and health that prevented me from going forward in marriage.
God made us to be physically attractive and we take marriage vows to stay married when some may become unattractive physically.
It seems to me that it would be easier to remain married to someone that you were once attracted to than to marry someone for everything else but sex. Maybe this only applies to ones who have never been married and never enjoyed a sex life.
Dec 17th 2013 new
(quote) Doug-974859 said: Thank you for a great question. When I was 30, I fought hard against the thought that I would never marry - that time was running out. I married after a courtship of 10 months. I've come to believe that for me, this was far too short a time to really know someone. The difference today is, it would not bother me never to marry again. Today I would make certain to court a woman for at least 2 years. It is important to me to find the best match that I possibly can, if I can, and leave the rest to God. You wished to know my flaw, and that flaw to me (among many) is the most meaningful. The one I wish I had never succumbed to.

I thought that way myself--it's smarter to date a man at least 2 years before committing to marriage. When I read your post, however, I recalled things I read about how a relationship/marriage goes through stages. The honeymoon or romantic stage could last maybe 2 years before the couple enter the realistic stage, and it's in this stage where the love aura could fade and that power struggles could surface; the couple see each other's flaws much more clearly, and the sense of feeling like you settled, or feeling cheated of something better, moves in. It takes some hard work sometimes to move through this stage to the next, mature stage of love, where each partner feels safe and secure with each other, happy and fulfilled, accepting of each other honestly. But this stage isn't reached unless the struggles of the prior stage are lived through. Being committed in marriage, where both persons know it is "for life", can make the couple accept that realistic stage and lovingly, earnestly work through it, instead of fleeing at the first sign of trouble, because no commitment is there. The relative ease in getting a divorce these days is sad. If people dont know these stages are very natural and come to all relationships, that realistic stage can scare too many people into thinking a mistake was made, and jump ship from a person who could be the best match there is.


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