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This room is for general discussion that doesn't specifically fit into one of the other CatholicMatch rooms. Topics should not be overly serious as this is to be more of a "cafe setting."

Saint Peter's Square was created so that more people could be in the presence of the Pope and was named after Saint Peter, one of Jesus's apostles.
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Jan 11th 2014 new
Yes, I do! It's only common courtesy.
Jan 11th 2014 new

When I first started responding to others, I was determined to reply to every emoticon or message just to be polite. I agree this is the 'right' thing to do. But I found that I would receive something and then go to check out the profile of the sender. Often, they had not even bothered to read my profile because they simply didn't feel the same way about things or didn't seem to understand that some things are important for me (especially some of the teachings of the Church). So I would respond with a courteous message wishing them all the best but saying that I didn't feel we suited. That should have been the end of story, right?

But what I found is that some men don't like being 'rejected' and they would then write back again with something a bit harsh, trying to imply that there was something wrong with me for judging them by their profile (which they wrote themselves!). One even told me that Jesus wouldn't have said 'we don't agree on the teachings of the faith' - which I found obscure and bizarre to say the least. Another one said something about jillaroos not giving hugs. It was all too strange for me. I must admit though that there was one guy who simply wished me all the best in return - very gentlemanly. Anyway, I decided I didn't want to deal with the nastiness and stopped replying to those I felt weren't a match. Maybe no answer is less painful than a negative one? Opinions about this?

Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Susan-857876 said: not to the catalogue shoppers tho'.......it's not the same thing if they just view and say 'next'
Hahaha.......Is THAT what it's called? laughing laughing clap
Jan 11th 2014 new
Annie,

When they get that way, there is not need to respond any further. I still respond to a message/emote sent to me. We need to make that initial polite response. I love the Poem "Anyway". Here is one from it.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.


Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Johnny-975202 said: Annie,

When they get that way, there is not need to respond any further. I still respond to a message/emote sent to me. We need to make that initial polite response. I love the Poem "Anyway". Here is one from it.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.


So tell me, Johnny, why does a guy send a message or emote to someone who obviously doesn't agree with them about certain things (like pre-marital sex)? Is it just that he hasn't bothered to read the profile first?

I understand the 'be kind' thing and I think it's important to be courteous, but when I get an emoticon or message from someone who obviously hasn't read what I have written in my profile, I wonder if that guy is just sending off to every person on the site without any discernment at all.

And if the guy does contact me, and I then view his profile and see that we simply don't match on issues of importance, and I write a courteous and kind response that says we aren't in agreement -- why does he then get angry? I don't get it.

Sure, I can just block any further messages from them, but I would like to understand why a guy would contact a woman who obviously doesn't agree with his views in the first place.


Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Annie-1040839 said:

So tell me, Johnny, why does a guy send a message or emote to someone who obviously doesn't agree with them about certain things (like pre-marital sex)? Is it just that he hasn't bothered to read the profile first?


It is possible to send a message out to someone without view the profile. I don't know if it can be done anywhere else, but one can certainly do it from the forums. I have also been in the "chats" and I think you can do it from there. I don't get into them anymore.

So, perhaps he really has NOT viewed your profile. Why does he get angry, after a friendly "no".....Immaturity. Sure, it does sting a bit. No need to get defensive.
Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Johnny-975202 said: It is possible to send a message out to someone without view the profile. I don't know if it can be done anywhere else, but one can certainly do it from the forums. I have also been in the "chats" and I think you can do it from there. I don't get into them anymore.

So, perhaps he really has NOT viewed your profile. Why does he get angry, after a friendly "no".....Immaturity. Sure, it does sting a bit. No need to get defensive.

Well, maybe I am just too practical but even if one is able to send a message from the forums or the chat room, it seems to me that it would make sense to check out the profile first before doing so. That way one could see if there were areas that matched or didn't match. But that's just me.


Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Michael-1041054 said: I always respond with either a message or an emotigram. It is proper and respectful.
biggrin biggrin biggrin
Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Annie-1040839 said:

 it seems to me that it would make sense to check out the profile first before doing so. That way one could see if there were areas that matched or didn't match. But that's just me.


Exactly. I don't send any without viewing the profile first. Exception: side message to someone in the forum to not be in public view.
Jan 11th 2014 new
I try - unless it's a no message emotigram. Never quite sure what to do with those.

I'm not perfect but I try to at least acknowledge a message.
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