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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 6th 2014 new
(quote) Wendy-387654 said: Yes, I want a self-giving, committed relationship!


This was excellent Kristen.


Thank you, Wendy! hug
Jan 6th 2014 new
(quote) Kristen-878108 said:  Meaning, that even "good men" have a hard time pursuing commitment in a world where the above is the norm. I guess I thought perhaps men who desired a holy Catholic marriage would be able to rise above this cultural confusion. But I'm starting to wonder...
Most of the men I've corresponded with for longer periods of time eventually demonstrated this same fear of commitment.

I personally would rather be alone than compromise myself for anything less than self-giving love. Because ultimately, as a beloved of God, I am not alone! I want to be a saint, and if that means being a "white martyr (as opposed to red) of a ultilitarian culture," so be it. I just wonder if there might be a few who want something MORE than the status quo out there? Are there like minded people on CM who want this same beautiful ideal of Christian marriage. What do you think?
Yes, Kristen, yes. I'm sorry but there it is. There are few people who actually live a radical life, and very few of us who carry it to the extent to which Christ is calling. I have noticed the same thing...especially with regards to materialism and basing the number of children one can have off of the number you can afford to send to college...so many guys my age seem to think they will have 2-3 kids in a good Catholic marriage and I want to know: do you want to abstain for the first 18 years of your marriage? or are you planning on using birth control? My guess is that most folks don't actually ponder what is the meaning of their lives or if they have any faults that need working on.

Men of today have been affected moreso by the prevailing ideas of materialism, relativism, and radical/unbridaled feminism...and it has left them weak, bleeding, and emasculated. sad No, they are not bleeding from the crucifixion of white martyrdom as you describe so eloquently, but from letting their guard down and thus having been wounded. They have largely been seduced by the three headed monster I named. Women have then been touched in a different way...for they do not fight with swords but with their hearts, and their hearts are no longer guarded, loved, and embraced.

I think this is something we need to recognize as single folks...not waiting around idle hoping that fabled "ONE" comes around. The One Above All Others is already here!!! heartbeat If I do not marry (not giving up on dreams, but opening my embrace to the will of God) then I shall visit my friends, stay with those who are having babies, help old ladies clean their houses, give money to the poor, and throw myself into ministry and give myself away wholeheartedly with reckless abandon! It's what I strive to do right now, and I'm hoping I get better at it as I grown older.
Jan 6th 2014 new
P.S. This is the best post in a long time!

It's not complaining or anything! It's recognizing an issue in hopes of finding a solution...not pity or sympathy.
Jan 6th 2014 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said:

A good man doesn't, Bob.

You know that.

Bingo. So why do women think fornication w/ a BF is good for them?
Jan 6th 2014 new
(quote) Naomi-825244 said: Men of today have been affected moreso by the prevailing ideas of materialism, relativism, and radical/unbridaled feminism...and it has left them weak, bleeding, and emasculated. No, they are not bleeding from the crucifixion of white martyrdom as you describe so eloquently, but from letting their guard down and thus having been wounded. They have largely been seduced by the three headed monster I named. Women have then been touched in a different way...for they do not fight with swords but with their hearts, and their hearts are no longer guarded, loved, and embraced.

I think this is something we need to recognize as single folks...not waiting around idle hoping that fabled "ONE" comes around. The One Above All Others is already here!!! If I do not marry (not giving up on dreams, but opening my embrace to the will of God) then I shall visit my friends, stay with those who are having babies, help old ladies clean their houses, give money to the poor, and throw myself into ministry and give myself away wholeheartedly with reckless abandon! It's what I strive to do right now, and I'm hoping I get better at it as I grown older.
Amen, Sista! Awesome, Naomi! The last paragraph brought a tear to my eye! sad Yes! That is what I want too! To like with reckless abandon self-giving love, even if I can't find -rather, he refuses to find me! - a man who desires to share this amazing, one time only adventure of LIFE with me! I promise to not become bitter and live the gift too!

Man, being the only creature created for his own sake, finds himself only in a sincere gift of himself. GS #24
Jan 6th 2014 new
To LIVE, not To like
Jan 6th 2014 new
(quote) Naomi-825244 said: Men of today have been affected moreso by the prevailing ideas of materialism, relativism, and radical/unbridaled feminism...
"unbridaled" - un-bride-aled. Freudian slip? Methinks so!
Jan 6th 2014 new
Dear Kristen,

Yes! Wholeheartedly theheart I am with you on this. I love Song of Songs and agree with what Jason had to share regarding "foxes" or things that can destroy the vineyard (or Love) and yes...I have also had the experience you spoke of regarding long term relationships ending due to fear of commitment. So here is my tuppence worth....I think that finding Love (of the Tob standard) is like that beautiful painting you have displayed in your profile pics. The beauty of the starry night. "Finding God in the darkness." Van Gogh felt that in the silence of a starry night, one could hear the voice of God.
Perhaps.... scratchchin ....it is in the very silence of our lonliness that we get to hear the voice of God and hopefully the light of His grace will lead us to our true Beloved. I certainly hope so! Just a thought as your question is an important one and thank you for sharing the link!

God Bless
theheart rose You get a Gold Star!

Helen


Jan 6th 2014 new

"I think this is something we need to recognize as single folks...not waiting around idle hoping that fabled "ONE" comes around. The One Above All Others is already here!!! If I do not marry (not giving up on dreams, but opening my embrace to the will of God) then I shall visit my friends, stay with those who are having babies, help old ladies clean their houses, give money to the poor, and throw myself into ministry and give myself away wholeheartedly with reckless abandon! It's what I strive to do right now, and I'm hoping I get better at it as I grown older."

Well said Naomi !!! present Your thoughts on this matter are a gift! You get a Gold Star!

God Bless,
Helen
Jan 6th 2014 new
(quote) Helen-353634 said: Dear Kristen,

Yes! Wholeheartedly I am with you on this. I love Song of Songs and agree with what Jason had to share regarding "foxes" or things that can destroy the vineyard (or Love) and yes...I have also had the experience you spoke of regarding long term relationships ending due to fear of commitment. So here is my tuppence worth....I think that finding Love (of the Tob standard) is like that beautiful painting you have displayed in your profile pics. The beauty of the starry night. "Finding God in the darkness." Van Gogh felt that in the silence of a starry night, one could hear the voice of God.
Perhaps.... ....it is in the very silence of our lonliness that we get to hear the voice of God and hopefully the light of His grace will lead us to our true Beloved. I certainly hope so! Just a thought as your question is an important one and thank you for sharing the link!

God Bless


Helen


Absolutely beautiful post, Helen! I'm starting to see what the problem is - there are just so many beautiful, wonderful women on here, that the men are stunned and unable to choose! biggrin Thank you for reminding me with a post from my own profile - a good dose of medicine there! God bless!
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