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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Joan-939568 said: I recently read an article that plotted out the Catholic population across the US...I was surprised at how certain Southern states had so few Catholics...
BINGO! Living in an all college town:3 major+ more private campuses is a wonderfully vibrant environment . Our college student Catholic ministry is so alive...and our church parking lots are crowded with Engaged Encounters and the pews are filled with young starting out families....the nursery is packed! It is beautiful and rich. But we are a college and capital town...when the Legislature is out of session, and the colleges and courthouses wind down...it is a sleepy small town environment...which is also lovely...but it does not afford much opportunity for"young-ish" Catholic widow with kids...well....you get the picture, I am sure. scratchchin

So for me, I knew when I joined the site that my combination of ahem....wisdom, church affiliation, and family constructs...(how do you like that for "spin", huh?) You get a Gold Star! would most definitely be LDR....My eyes were wide open to LDR from the beginning....I cannot relocate permanently...but as any good Floridian will tell you...we have many who make "snowbird" retirement plans...So, if marriage is in my God willed future, a 50/50/ 60/40/ 70/30...flexible living arrangement is possible...Camping can be pleasant????.... goldfish with an air mattress...pretty please? ...over 60 makes the bones ache in just a sleeping bag...yikes! and in order to keep up with adult children and to visit grandbabies...it's all good...what is needed is a husband and wife with the determination to continually go out of their way throughout married life...just to make it work !

So mostly I look for a gentleman's heart-edness... with a "can do" attitude....an "open" attitude to the rest of what life brings...someone who is willing to do the work WITH me to share a future together over the distance....God knows who that ONE is... wave Good News!

So LDR is the way to go from where I am ! just saying...I knew that from the start...no shock or disappointment here! laughing

Thanks,Joan, for the affirmation of my necessity for LDR here!
Barbara







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Jan 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Shirley-1031992 said:

People make snap judgments based on what they think would be perfect for them. If what they find is not centered around what their perfect ideal person would be, they do not take the time to see if there are good qualities they were not expecting. Often we are looking inward to our needs and expectations and if they are not immediately met we stop listening at the first uncowtowing words we hear.

It takes time and effort to really know someone.No one wants to take the time. They want instant gratification and if it is not found they just move on.

I agree with you. People are not open. It takes time to develop a relationship and to get to know someone. I have heard people tell of how they met and say I didn't really like him at first but he grew on me. Or I didn't even notice him or her at first but after I got to know her or him thought hmmmmm why didn't I notice him or her before. So if you are open then who knows ????
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Jan 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Jillian-1014035 said: Nice post...I had a relationship that started like you described on here... it still failed....God brought us together but it failed.....but nice post to read
Jesus selected 12 men to follow Him on this Earth as His apostles. One of them betrayed Him (Judas). One of them doubted Him (Thomas). One of them, the rock on which Christ built His Church (Peter), denied him three times before the cock crowed, and all the rest of them, but one (John), were not with Him at the cross on Calvary. Yet, these men were all handpicked by the Lord himself. Yet, the Lord was bold and did not allow fear of failure to arrest His duty in fulfilling His calling by God the Father.

There are no guarantees in this life. Humans are not perfect. "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Everyone fails and falters at times. If you want to get married in THIS life (which is the only chance we will ever have in our existence), then you have got to take a chance and risk failure, and for many of us, that means risk failure AGAIN, and even a successful marriage will have its difficult moments. This is the way this life is!

Humans are learning beings, and we primarily learn by experience, though we can also be taught, usually better in youth when we don't "know" everything. As adults, it is experience which guides us, AND our submission to God's will for our lives through prayerful discernment. If we discern that it is God's will for us to be married, then it will happen in God's time and in God's way, and in the meantime we just need to be open and receptive to it.

However, we can also allow the negative experiences we have had in the past to stifle the rest of our lives out of the fear of failure. "Fear not", says the Lord. Be not afraid. And so we go, and fear not. Fear is the enemy. Allay your fears and be bold. This life is a gift; we should use it to the best of our talents.

Lord, thy will be done. Amen

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Jan 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Kathy-730470 said: I agree with you. People are not open. It takes time to develop a relationship and to get to know someone. I have heard people tell of how they met and say I didn't really like him at first but he grew on me. Or I didn't even notice him or her at first but after I got to know her or him thought hmmmmm why didn't I notice him or her before. So if you are open then who knows ????
Because, ultimately, love is a choice made through prayerful discernment over time, and not necessarily sparks and skyrockets in flight which tend to overshadow fundamental issues.
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Jan 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Jim-624621 said: Because, ultimately, love is a choice made through prayerful discernment over time, and not necessarily sparks and skyrockets in flight which tend to overshadow fundamental issues.
I agree with you Jim. Love is a choice made through prayerful discernment over time.
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Jan 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Jim-624621 said: Jesus selected 12 men to follow Him on this Earth as His apostles. One of them betrayed Him (Judas). One of them doubted Him (Thomas). One of them, the rock on which Christ built His Church (Peter), denied him three times before the cock crowed, and all the rest of them, but one (John), were not with Him at the cross on Calvary. Yet, these men were all handpicked by the Lord himself. Yet, the Lord was bold and did not allow fear of failure to arrest His duty in fulfilling His calling by God the Father.

There are no guarantees in this life. Humans are not perfect. "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Everyone fails and falters at times. If you want to get married in THIS life (which is the only chance we will ever have in our existence), then you have got to take a chance and risk failure, and for many of us, that means risk failure AGAIN, and even a successful marriage will have its difficult moments. This is the way this life is!

Humans are learning beings, and we primarily learn by experience, though we can also be taught, usually better in youth when we don't "know" everything. As adults, it is experience which guides us, AND our submission to God's will for our lives through prayerful discernment. If we discern that it is God's will for us to be married, then it will happen in God's time and in God's way, and in the meantime we just need to be open and receptive to it.

However, we can also allow the negative experiences we have had in the past to stifle the rest of our lives out of the fear of failure. "Fear not", says the Lord. Be not afraid. And so we go, and fear not. Fear is the enemy. Allay your fears and be bold. This life is a gift; we should use it to the best of our talents.

Lord, thy will be done. Amen

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Very well said Jim :)
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Jan 23rd 2014 new
Michael... you have finally answered my question as to WHY has no one responded to any of my smiles, winks or messages of introduction! Thanks.

Now... if they can get pass all this you mentioned here, perhaps, we can get on with some initial dialogue, great conversation, smiles beaming all throughout CM and maybe, just maybe, meeting for a cup of coffee.

I'll settle for that!
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Jan 23rd 2014 new
(quote) Jim-624621 said: Jesus selected 12 men to follow Him on this Earth as His apostles. One of them betrayed Him (Judas). One of them doubted Him (Thomas). One of them, the rock on which Christ built His Church (Peter), denied him three times before the cock crowed, and all the rest of them, but one (John), were not with Him at the cross on Calvary. Yet, these men were all handpicked by the Lord himself. Yet, the Lord was bold and did not allow fear of failure to arrest His duty in fulfilling His calling by God the Father.

There are no guarantees in this life. Humans are not perfect. "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Everyone fails and falters at times. If you want to get married in THIS life (which is the only chance we will ever have in our existence), then you have got to take a chance and risk failure, and for many of us, that means risk failure AGAIN, and even a successful marriage will have its difficult moments. This is the way this life is!

Humans are learning beings, and we primarily learn by experience, though we can also be taught, usually better in youth when we don't "know" everything. As adults, it is experience which guides us, AND our submission to God's will for our lives through prayerful discernment. If we discern that it is God's will for us to be married, then it will happen in God's time and in God's way, and in the meantime we just need to be open and receptive to it.

However, we can also allow the negative experiences we have had in the past to stifle the rest of our lives out of the fear of failure. "Fear not", says the Lord. Be not afraid. And so we go, and fear not. Fear is the enemy. Allay your fears and be bold. This life is a gift; we should use it to the best of our talents.

Lord, thy will be done. Amen

.
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wonderful written Praying theheart rosary rose rose rose
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Jan 24th 2014 new
Jim in LA........ I truly believe it was always God's plan for the vast majority to live in lifelong monogynous marriages or we would not have Exodus 20:14, Malachi 2:16 and Matthew 19:3-12 I believe those three Biblical verses, and others can be cited, clearly and plainly state God's Will for marriage.....but that's not what we find in this world today, is it? So, in the affairs of mankind, just because it's God's Will doesn't mean it will be mankind's will nor does it guarantee it will happen, Unfortunately, men and women have to make choices and oftentimes make bad choices that have terrible consequences. The bottom line is that both men and women must use the gift of free will to make many choices and be absolutely truthful and honest with one another. We cannot rely upon God to do this for us no more than we can rely upon another person to make our choices for us. Thus, my soulmate is going to have to be someone who can and has made her own choices and those choices just happen to be very similar to my choices...and vice versa. That's going to require time, active searching, honest questions followed by honest answers, then more time for simply doing and being with one another to make sure there's a comfortable overlap of heart, mind and soul. The beauty of being on CM.com is that 95% of this can be done using the profiles, Temperament Test and the message system for asking questions...with God watching the entire process. Praying daily as I actively engage myself, I've decided to make this a joyful occasion by having some lighthearted fun in my messages. If she can't laugh and cut-up now, I doubt if she will later. Patience always pays off because if we are very diligent before we give our unsolved problems to our Lord, its during our patience that he dots our i's and crosses our t's. So far since I began actively using CM.com three weeks ago, this simple procedure is working beautifully. I've never met so many interesting women in so short a period of time and believe I'll end up with one wife and many women friends all over the Catholic world. That too is God's Will but if I didn't put forth the effort, nothing, absolutely nothing would happen.













that's
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Jan 24th 2014 new
In the words from "Hill Street Blues": "Let's be careful out there."
But this doesn't need to discourage taking a risk in just reaching out to someone and saying, "Hello. I'd like to get to know you."


Hello. wave This topic has been automatically locked due to size. Any further discussion can be continued in a new topic.
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