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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Tim-734178 said: Ok time for me to get booed. I've been on here about a year and a half. Friendships mind you and good ones. But what I see from both the men and the women ( not all of course) is a "settling". What I mean is that for many, a cyber relationship is good enough. We talk a good game and people are just scared to make even a simple attempt. Doesn't matter why. Point is it's like an 8th grade dance. Seperated by sex and no ones got the guts to be the first! Look guys and gals. The only person that will never hurt you, never call you a name or laugh at you of make you feel small or dirty or whatever is Our Blessed Lord!!
so quit looking to Marry God ( unless you have that vocation) and put on big people pants and do something. Waiting until God drops your spouse on your head is not going to happen. So take a chance dag nab it!!

rant off!
Bingo, Timmy! You win the prize!
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Jan 11th 2014 new

quote) Tim-734178 said: Ok time for me to get booed. I've been on here about a year and a half. Friendships mind you and good ones. But what I see from both the men and the women ( not all of course) is a "settling". What I mean is that for many, a cyber relationship is good enough. We talk a good game and people are just scared to make even a simple attempt. Doesn't matter why. Point is it's like an 8th grade dance. Seperated by sex and no ones got the guts to be the first! Look guys and gals. The only person that will never hurt you, never call you a name or laugh at you of make you feel small or dirty or whatever is Our Blessed Lord!!
so quit looking to Marry God ( unless you have that vocation) and put on big people pants and do something. Waiting until God drops your spouse on your head is not going to happen. So take a chance dag nab it!!

Tim, my favorite part of your "rant" was that we put on our big people pants & do something. I tried CM a couple of years after becoming a widow & took a break for a while. I returned this past summer after several years because I wanted to connect with people of the same "Faith". I too have many friends outside of CM but yearn for a deeper connection. Yes, being vulnerable is risky but I feel it is better than the alternative of stewing in our on juices.

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Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Margaret-20183 said: I think many people see things as a matter of quantity rather than quality. Success is measured according to the number of profile views and messages received rather than the quality of the connection. I'd much rather go weeks without any views or messages until one gem of a man came around, rather than having my ego stoked with lots of attention that goes nowhere. That's why I have a profile that is constructed to hopefully appeal to the type of man I'd like. It's more a reflection of personality than a litany of facts.
Ditto!
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Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Margaret-20183 said: I think many people see things as a matter of quantity rather than quality. Success is measured according to the number of profile views and messages received rather than the quality of the connection. I'd much rather go weeks without any views or messages until one gem of a man came around, rather than having my ego stoked with lots of attention that goes nowhere. That's why I have a profile that is constructed to hopefully appeal to the type of man I'd like. It's more a reflection of personality than a litany of facts.
Ditto!
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Jan 11th 2014 new
Problems with communication: many people are afraid to tell others what they really want or need. Some people may be on here apparently looking for a relationship but, for whatever reason, may secretly be totally afraid to really take the plunge. And then they hesitate to tell people the truth because they don't want to hurt someone's feelings.

Difference in gender: let's face it - men and women think differently. And that really affects how they communicate with one another.

Those are two of the main ones, IMO.
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Jan 11th 2014 new

This sounds realistic. However, I reach out to many and never get a response other than a "view" of the profile. If I take the time to look at a profile and they have interview questions, I answer them. They obviously are going to know I "viewed their profile" so I might as well leave a little bit of who I am before I leave. It won't stop me from continuing on. I would enjoy a bit of conversation even if it ended on a dead end street. I work two jobs and don't have as much time as I would like to participate in the forums.

Laurel, I also related to what you said about enjoying good conversation. I feel a great deal of respect for people who respond to my messages even if it is to let me know they aren't interested or they are pursuing a relationship. I too hope not to become too discouraged.

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Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Megan-21150 said: Problems with communication: many people are afraid to tell others what they really want or need. Some people may be on here apparently looking for a relationship but, for whatever reason, may secretly be totally afraid to really take the plunge. And then they hesitate to tell people the truth because they don't want to hurt someone's feelings.

Difference in gender: let's face it - men and women think differently. And that really affects how they communicate with one another.

Those are two of the main ones, IMO.
Bingo, Megan, you are brightly and succinctly said my thoughts!
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Jan 11th 2014 new
(quote) Eleanor-465110 said:

quote) Tim-734178 said: Ok time for me to get booed. I've been on here about a year and a half. Friendships mind you and good ones. But what I see from both the men and the women ( not all of course) is a "settling". What I mean is that for many, a cyber relationship is good enough. We talk a good game and people are just scared to make even a simple attempt. Doesn't matter why. Point is it's like an 8th grade dance. Seperated by sex and no ones got the guts to be the first! Look guys and gals. The only person that will never hurt you, never call you a name or laugh at you of make you feel small or dirty or whatever is Our Blessed Lord!!
so quit looking to Marry God ( unless you have that vocation) and put on big people pants and do something. Waiting until God drops your spouse on your head is not going to happen. So take a chance dag nab it!!

Tim, my favorite part of your "rant" was that we put on our big people pants & do something. I tried CM a couple of years after becoming a widow & took a break for a while. I returned this past summer after several years because I wanted to connect with people of the same "Faith". I too have many friends outside of CM but yearn for a deeper connection. Yes, being vulnerable is risky but I feel it is better than the alternative of stewing in our on juices.

Eleanor, welcome back! As widow and hoping to fulfill my marriage vocation again, I hope we both are successful! Check out widow/widower forum too!
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Jan 11th 2014 new

Thanks, Mary Beth.


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Jan 11th 2014 new
Fear. fear of stepping out if their comfort zone, fear of getting hurt, fear of hurting others. of still living in the past, past mistakes etc, fear of the unknown, focusing on what may happen instead of focusing on the here and now, so its easier to hide behind a screen than taking a risk AND GO OUT AND MEET SOMEONE FOR COFFEE OR TO MEET, its a meeting not a commitment!! just saying!! :)
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