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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jan 14th 2014 new
I thought she came IN through the bathroom window, protected by a silver spoon....
Jan 14th 2014 new
(quote) David-364112 said: In my junior year of college I met this amazing young woman with a tempestuous nature and a shock of curly red hair. We fell in love - but she was seeing someone and, much as she wanted to, would never pull away from him. She was my first great love and first great sorrow. She and my rival will celebrate their 30th anniversary later this year. I never got over this.

Twelve years later I was spending a lot of time back in my college town because my old roommate was terminally ill. By then I was married. We ran into each other at Mass and rekindled a friendship over the next few months until my roommate died. We stayed in loose contact afterwards. The first thing I realized is that she and I would have never made it as a couple. We were completely mismatched. But we became good friends. She and my (then) wife hit it off. I liked her husband. Odd how things work out. They say "rejection is God's protection". That's so right.
This reminds me of two things Garth Brooks, Unanswered Prayers and my husband and my sister. She was supposed to go out with Pete and cancelled on him literally at the last minute. I went with him because I felt sorry for him and thought my sister had been horrible to him. They were very close after we married. As close as they were and as much as they loved each other, it was definitely a brother/sister kind of thing and both of them would say they would never have worked as a couple.
Jan 14th 2014 new
(quote) Patrick-341178 said: Do you ever sit and wonder about that special someone in your past and think if things had just been a bit different, they may be your spouse? I turn 35.5 on Thursday so going back to really when I started dating for the first time in college about 17+ years ago, I definitely have those thoughts. I think about first girl I dated. I met her on the 2nd day of freshman orientation and dated her for a whopping 7 days before she met another guy at a keg party LOL. My first relationship experience was during my sophomore year. She was a freshman and we were set up through a family member. BAD IDEA!!! (For those of you 25 and under who have lived virtually all your lives since about 5th grade with the Internet, thank God that site like this now exist so you never, ever have to be set up again. The situation is still actually kinda akward to this day.. but I digress...) I had another relationship at age 24 that lasted for about 6 months. Probably my best to date. And then another 3+ years later with a gal I actually met on eharmony (you can read my profile for details on that). And through here on catholicmatch there have been numerous very short lived dating encounters. (You can actually read about 2 recent ones on a forum I just posted...)

Of the numerous very short lived dating encounters, there is one that sticks out. I first emotigrammed her about I believe the Spring of 2011. She never replied. I then emotigrammed her I believe a few more times over the next few months. No response. No harm, no foul. But, then at co-parish Christmas party in 2011 she just happened to be there and recognized me. To be honest, I am not sure if she hadn't said anything that I would have recognized her. Chicago is a big city and there are many profiles to gloss over. We then kinda hit it off at the party and exchanged numbers.

Usually, when I meet someone, I like things to develop very slowly in the beginning. Perhaps that has hurt me in a few cases in the past, but I just and not comfortable with the idea of basically being in a relationship someone only after a couple weeks of dating. 2-3 months is more in my comfort zone. However, in this particular case, I kinda got caught up in the moment and it was almost like we were in a relationship 1 week later. The only thing that slowed it down a bit was the fact that she went back home to Wisconsin for Christmas and New Years. Although we were in constant communication.

I suppose this freaked me out a bit even though I did really like her. I also had just become a catholic match paying again member after about a 3 or 4 month hiatus. I never had expected to have actually met someone at that particular Christmas party.. much less someone who recognized me from this site.

So, when she got back from Christmas break, I told her that I wasn't ready for all this and offered her friendship for now. Since we only had dated for a very short period of time, I was hoping she would be ok with that, but she definitely was not. It then got very akward and we actually went again a few weeks later. She said then she was open to letting it develop slowly but about a week later, she broke it off completely. I was filled with some mixed emotions and didn't really understand why she felt the need to close the door completely after saying before the door was still open. As it turned out, there was another guy in the picture - something I wasn't aware of at the time. I didnt find out about this other guy until several months later until she posted "in a relationship" on facebook. Since we weren't yet in a relationship, there was nothing technically wrong with that, but it nevertheless kinda bothered me. If she had been more upfront about that other situation, perhaps I would have acted differently. It is hard to say in retrospect but it is possible.

After this facebook posting, I did see her once more in person a few months later. We still remained facebook friends and she invited me to her going away party from Chicago. (She moved a couple of hours away.) I am not sure why exactly she did invite me, although, it may have been kinda and un-vite. She didnt really expect me or wanted me to go, but was just trying to be nice. I had reservations about going myself, but figured since this may be the last time I ever see her, what the hey?

I had to work earlier in the day so I got there about an hour late. I planned on making more of a cameo appearance and then just wishing her well. But, then when I noticed her bf wasnt there and when she was being a bit flirty towards me, I decided to stay a bit longer. I thought it was odd that he wasn't there so I thought maybe that situation perhaps had or was running its course.

Since this particular party wasnt the right time or place to tell her that I missed her, I wrote her an email the next day telling her how I felt. I then waited in agony for a reply and when her name appeared on my email, I actually couldnt read it for another day or two. I didnt really know what to expect but then I finally opened it, and it was very underwhelming to say the least. She told me her relationship was still going strong so that was that. I was disappointed but figured that since she was moving out of the area, perhaps it was for the best and I wished her well.

We then remained facebook friends for about another year after that. It was certainly akward to read updates about her relationship status but I wasnt about to defriend her. But eventually she unfriended me. I understood why but it still a bit of a daggar to know that officially we were done forever. But, anyways, I still wished her well privately.

But, the weird thing about facebook is that even when someone defriends you, you can still go to their profile and see updates and they never know you looked (unlike this site). It is kinda stalker-esque to an extent, but I cant help but look people up from the past from time to time. So, I admit I still looked to see what her status was from time to time. I then just looked tonight and saw she got engaged on new year's eve.

I suppose it is kinda a bittersweet feeling since I havent seen her in a year and a half and it has been 2 years since our very short courtship ended, but I cant help but think what could have been? I got engaged once to the wrong girl. But, was this the one that got away?

I am sure y'all have had other similar experiences.
Patrick,

This is a pretty depressing topic, but I would point out to you for your own sanity that you can't go back and think this relationship over in your head.

You made a rational decision with the facts you had on hand. Had this relationship progressed faster than you wanted it to, you could have been in an unhappy marriage wishing you had slowed things down.


Jan 14th 2014 new
(quote) Patrick-341178 said: Do you ever sit and wonder about that special someone in your past and think if things had just been a bit different, they may be your spouse? I turn 35.5 on Thursday so going back to really when I started dating for the first time in college about 17+ years ago, I definitely have those thoughts. I think about first girl I dated. I met her on the 2nd day of freshman orientation and dated her for a whopping 7 days before she met another guy at a keg party LOL. My first relationship experience was during my sophomore year. She was a freshman and we were set up through a family member. BAD IDEA!!! (For those of you 25 and under who have lived virtually all your lives since about 5th grade with the Internet, thank God that site like this now exist so you never, ever have to be set up again. The situation is still actually kinda akward to this day.. but I digress...) I had another relationship at age 24 that lasted for about 6 months. Probably my best to date. And then another 3+ years later with a gal I actually met on eharmony (you can read my profile for details on that). And through here on catholicmatch there have been numerous very short lived dating encounters. (You can actually read about 2 recent ones on a forum I just posted...)

Of the numerous very short lived dating encounters, there is one that sticks out. I first emotigrammed her about I believe the Spring of 2011. She never replied. I then emotigrammed her I believe a few more times over the next few months. No response. No harm, no foul. But, then at co-parish Christmas party in 2011 she just happened to be there and recognized me. To be honest, I am not sure if she hadn't said anything that I would have recognized her. Chicago is a big city and there are many profiles to gloss over. We then kinda hit it off at the party and exchanged numbers.

Usually, when I meet someone, I like things to develop very slowly in the beginning. Perhaps that has hurt me in a few cases in the past, but I just and not comfortable with the idea of basically being in a relationship someone only after a couple weeks of dating. 2-3 months is more in my comfort zone. However, in this particular case, I kinda got caught up in the moment and it was almost like we were in a relationship 1 week later. The only thing that slowed it down a bit was the fact that she went back home to Wisconsin for Christmas and New Years. Although we were in constant communication.

I suppose this freaked me out a bit even though I did really like her. I also had just become a catholic match paying again member after about a 3 or 4 month hiatus. I never had expected to have actually met someone at that particular Christmas party.. much less someone who recognized me from this site.

So, when she got back from Christmas break, I told her that I wasn't ready for all this and offered her friendship for now. Since we only had dated for a very short period of time, I was hoping she would be ok with that, but she definitely was not. It then got very akward and we actually went again a few weeks later. She said then she was open to letting it develop slowly but about a week later, she broke it off completely. I was filled with some mixed emotions and didn't really understand why she felt the need to close the door completely after saying before the door was still open. As it turned out, there was another guy in the picture - something I wasn't aware of at the time. I didnt find out about this other guy until several months later until she posted "in a relationship" on facebook. Since we weren't yet in a relationship, there was nothing technically wrong with that, but it nevertheless kinda bothered me. If she had been more upfront about that other situation, perhaps I would have acted differently. It is hard to say in retrospect but it is possible.

After this facebook posting, I did see her once more in person a few months later. We still remained facebook friends and she invited me to her going away party from Chicago. (She moved a couple of hours away.) I am not sure why exactly she did invite me, although, it may have been kinda and un-vite. She didnt really expect me or wanted me to go, but was just trying to be nice. I had reservations about going myself, but figured since this may be the last time I ever see her, what the hey?

I had to work earlier in the day so I got there about an hour late. I planned on making more of a cameo appearance and then just wishing her well. But, then when I noticed her bf wasnt there and when she was being a bit flirty towards me, I decided to stay a bit longer. I thought it was odd that he wasn't there so I thought maybe that situation perhaps had or was running its course.

Since this particular party wasnt the right time or place to tell her that I missed her, I wrote her an email the next day telling her how I felt. I then waited in agony for a reply and when her name appeared on my email, I actually couldnt read it for another day or two. I didnt really know what to expect but then I finally opened it, and it was very underwhelming to say the least. She told me her relationship was still going strong so that was that. I was disappointed but figured that since she was moving out of the area, perhaps it was for the best and I wished her well.

We then remained facebook friends for about another year after that. It was certainly akward to read updates about her relationship status but I wasnt about to defriend her. But eventually she unfriended me. I understood why but it still a bit of a daggar to know that officially we were done forever. But, anyways, I still wished her well privately.

But, the weird thing about facebook is that even when someone defriends you, you can still go to their profile and see updates and they never know you looked (unlike this site). It is kinda stalker-esque to an extent, but I cant help but look people up from the past from time to time. So, I admit I still looked to see what her status was from time to time. I then just looked tonight and saw she got engaged on new year's eve.

I suppose it is kinda a bittersweet feeling since I havent seen her in a year and a half and it has been 2 years since our very short courtship ended, but I cant help but think what could have been? I got engaged once to the wrong girl. But, was this the one that got away?

I am sure y'all have had other similar experiences.
A wise and sometimes cantankerous (sp?) old man once asked me what is the purpose of going fishin. I answered with the first thing that came to mind "To catch fish, duh" To which he replied, "Then ye don't go home till you catch one!" Often I went home after a poor fishin trip discouraged and tried to console myself with the excuse, "Well, at least I got to enjoy time in nature and got some peace and quiet." Hogwash! If it was about that I would be out there for days instead of an hour or two.

Why do we go back to fishing spots we have had some success in? Hope. That little bit of success (whether it was a bite that shook loose before you could real it in or plenty of bites but no keepers)gave you just enough encouragement to return with the hope of being more success full the next time. Unfortunately, all too often the more success in one spot and the more people who know about it the waters become over fished and the fish grow wiser to the fishermen's tactics. I like Jesus instruction to fishermen who were not having much success. "Cast your net on the other side of the boat" In otherwords do something different. I have found this advice applies to many aspects of life. If you always do what you have always done you will always get what you always got.

I have had a few past puppy loves that I often thought about revisiting over the years too. A few that I know I had broke there hearts because I didn't appreciate what I had when I had it, and I simply wanted to appoligize after growing up some and realizing how the way I and others treated them had an affect on there future relationship patterns. Fact of the matter is, people are not fish, if you are truly moving foreward in life and are meant to be with someone you will find them on later on down the path because they will be headed the same direction.

I do believe if you keep running into that person multiple places in life there may be a good reason for that. In that case hopefully you will have up graded your bait and tackle because you may be reeling in a keeper.
Jan 15th 2014 new
(quote) William-607613 said: Patrick,

This is a pretty depressing topic, but I would point out to you for your own sanity that you can't go back and think this relationship over in your head.

You made a rational decision with the facts you had on hand. Had this relationship progressed faster than you wanted it to, you could have been in an unhappy marriage wishing you had slowed things down.


my post was my therapy.. in a way I am glad that she is now engaged so I can put in behind me... I was wondering actually what had been talking so long.... you wont hear me talk about it again
Jan 15th 2014 new
No I don't worry or concern myself with what might have been. You can drive yourself crazy doing that. If a relationship didn't work out there's always a reason. Maybe timing wasn't right but if it was meant to be then you both would have met at the right time of put things on hold till a better time came around and it would have worked out at some point. It's best to deal in the here and nows of life and the future.
Jan 15th 2014 new
There is no one from my past who would have been a good spouse for me. Living in the middle of Utah is rather limiting. I know like three Catholic guys and they have all been taken for ages.
Jan 15th 2014 new
(quote) Peter-449116 said: I still miss the one who got away. She somehow escaped through the bathroom window.
How did she slip the knots? pr was ot caoms?
Jan 15th 2014 new
(quote) Peter-449116 said: I still miss the one who got away. She somehow escaped through the bathroom window.
How did she slip the knots? pr was ot caoms?
Jan 15th 2014 new
(quote) Joseph-1047313 said: A wise and sometimes cantankerous (sp?) old man once asked me what is the purpose of going fishin. I answered with the first thing that came to mind "To catch fish, duh" To which he replied, "Then ye don't go home till you catch one!" Often I went home after a poor fishin trip discouraged and tried to console myself with the excuse, "Well, at least I got to enjoy time in nature and got some peace and quiet." Hogwash! If it was about that I would be out there for days instead of an hour or two.

Why do we go back to fishing spots we have had some success in? Hope. That little bit of success (whether it was a bite that shook loose before you could real it in or plenty of bites but no keepers)gave you just enough encouragement to return with the hope of being more success full the next time. Unfortunately, all too often the more success in one spot and the more people who know about it the waters become over fished and the fish grow wiser to the fishermen's tactics. I like Jesus instruction to fishermen who were not having much success. "Cast your net on the other side of the boat" In otherwords do something different. I have found this advice applies to many aspects of life. If you always do what you have always done you will always get what you always got.

I have had a few past puppy loves that I often thought about revisiting over the years too. A few that I know I had broke there hearts because I didn't appreciate what I had when I had it, and I simply wanted to appoligize after growing up some and realizing how the way I and others treated them had an affect on there future relationship patterns. Fact of the matter is, people are not fish, if you are truly moving foreward in life and are meant to be with someone you will find them on later on down the path because they will be headed the same direction.

I do believe if you keep running into that person multiple places in life there may be a good reason for that. In that case hopefully you will have up graded your bait and tackle because you may be reeling in a keeper.
Thank you!
I have a friend who goes fishing-...
if he does not catch 200 fish in the first
couple hours he goes elsewhere
makes me think a little...
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