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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 19th 2014 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: What debt would that be?


Gift Love from Father God....pressed down,bountiful overflowing Gift Love is given to me...therefore I am to be a conduit of that love to others...I am blessed and I am to therefore BE a blessing to others. I am loved, as unworthy as I am, and I am to love as I have been the recipient of an endless enormous Love that can never be repaid...so I am to give as I have been given, to love as I have been loved..that is the charge on my life, my obligation,my "debt"

If an adult makes a choice to love in marriage...with eyes wide open..that is their chosen Way of Love to Him. theheart

With the Holy Spirit's guidance, I can embrace the opportunity to discharge my debt of love to Christ through loving my beloved spouse, with one, two or multiplied by mine..4 broken wings...or as Roystan quipped...broken rudder...or was it "tail feathers" wide eyed too...if this is my chosen response to answer His call to Love in the sacrament of Matrimony. Good News!

Jan 19th 2014 new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: On a couple of occasions I've broken up with (or been dumped by) women whose emotional limitations or baggage led friends of mine to attempt consolation by saying things like "you're better off, believe me"...generally followed by a patient enumeration of the lady's faults. This strikes me as a poor though understandable strategy that only prompts me to shake my head and reply, "ah, but you don't know....!". For one thing, when I love someone I find even their flaws endearing (obviously I am not talking about obvious life-wrecking dealbreakers like alcoholism or a propensity for violence). For another, I strongly suspect that I'm drawn to women to whom I feel I can be of some service--helping to mend their broken wings. Of what use could I be, anyway, to those mythical personages who 'have no baggage', who never wake up afraid in the middle of the night, never lose their keys, whose lives are an unbroken succession of personal triumphs? If I met such a woman I'm sure I'd admire her, but not love her, not romantically anyway.
It would be easy to dismiss this quirk of mine as pathological but I'm not convinced that it's entirely a bad thing. It didn't stop me from having a happy 13-year marriage (ended by my wife's death four years ago).
If anyone other than myself finds the topic worthwhile, I'd be interested to hear their views on the preference for a broken wing.
My heartfelt condolences to your lost love and sorry about broken emotional women hug ....

Hope someday to fly on cloudnine then i will be soooo biggrin crossfingers
Jan 20th 2014 new
""When you are commanded to love your neighbour as yourself, is it because you owe him love to the extent of the love you have for yourself, or because you are commanded to give him that amount of love even though, but for the commandment, you would owe him nothing?

When you have pity on someone with a broken wing to the extent that you want to marry that individual so you can look after him or her, are you discharging a debt to that person?""

Roystan, this also made me think of Simon of Cyrene. He was a man from Northern Africa who most likely did not know Christ, who owed Jesus nothing. He also owed nothing to the Roman soldiers but he was 'commanded' to carry the cross. Did he do so to obey that command or out of pity for the broken, bruised and bloodied man beneath that heavy cross? If out of pity, was Christ's debt to Simon discharged? Or was Simon's debt to his Creator the debt that was forgiven.
Beautiful isn't it? He may have been totally ignorant of Christ's teachings and of His love but he did what he was called to do. Can you imagine how his life must have changed from this one call to act that was answered with an action of kindness and love, whether commanded or called by spirit matters not.
Jan 20th 2014 new
(quote) Lauren-927923 said: I'm piggy backing on Jerry's post.

I don't think we have a debt to another or that we owe them in this sense of reciprocity. Over and over we are called to love without expectation of return. To love and do good because it is the way Christ teaches and Our Father wants us to be. We love because we are called to love without conditions. In Luke (below) we see what merit is there if we love only those who love us? None. The concept of a debt owing or an obligation owing to another conditions this love.

In each person -- good or bad -- friend or enemy we are called to see Christ and to love regardless. This does not mean however one has to marry another person. . .loving another is quite independent of a marital commitment. I think that in respecting the dignity of each person we are offering love as well. And, this is what we are called to do.

I think we are called to love. Love is an action. We are called to unconditional love. There is no debt to be satisfied in this vocation only a mission to attend. It is not something another has to ask us for. . .we should just do it.

http://biblehub.com/matthew/5-44.htm

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+6:27-36
Luke 6:27-36

New International Version (NIV)

Love for Enemies

27 But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.




Lauren , I love your post. Agree with Larry about taking care of elder parents and give them material and moral support.

Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph
Lectionary: 17

Reading 1
Sir 3:2-6, 12-14

God sets a father in honor over his children;
a mother's authority he confirms over her sons.
Whoever honors his father atones for sins,
and preserves himself from them.
When he prays, he is heard;
he stores up riches who reveres his mother.
Whoever honors his father is gladdened by children,
and, when he prays, is heard.
Whoever reveres his father will live a long life;
he who obeys his father brings comfort to his mother.

My son, take care of your father when he is old;
grieve him not as long as he lives.
Even if his mind fail, be considerate of him;
revile him not all the days of his life;
kindness to a father will not be forgotten,
firmly planted against the debt of your sins
--a house raised in justice to you

Reading 2
Col 3:12-21
Brothers and sisters:
Put on, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,
heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,
bearing with one another and forgiving one another,
if one has a grievance against another;
as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do.
And over all these put on love,
that is, the bond of perfection.
And let the peace of Christ control your hearts,
the peace into which you were also called in one body.
And be thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly,
as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another,
singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs
with gratitude in your hearts to God.
And whatever you do, in word or in deed,
do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, be subordinate to your husbands,
as is proper in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives,
and avoid any bitterness toward them.
Children, obey your parents in everything,
for this is pleasing to the Lord.
Fathers, do not provoke your children,
so they may not become discouraged.

Jn 3:1-2, 21-24
Beloved:
See what love the Father has bestowed on us
that we may be called the children of God.
And so we are.
The reason the world does not know us
is that it did not know him.
Beloved, we are God's children now;
what we shall be has not yet been revealed.
We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him,
for we shall see him as he is.
Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us,
we have confidence in God and receive from him whatever we ask,
because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him.
And his commandment is this:
we should believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ,
and love one another just as he commanded us.
Those who keep his commandments remain in him, and he in them,
and the way we know that he remains in us
is from the Spirit he gave us.

Gospel Lk 2:41-52
Each year Jesus' parents went to Jerusalem for the feast
of Passover,
and when he was twelve years old,
they went up according to festival custom.
After they had completed its days, as they were returning,
the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem,
but his parents did not know it.
Thinking that he was in the caravan,
they journeyed for a day
and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances,
but not finding him,
they returned to Jerusalem to look for him.
After three days they found him in the temple,
sitting in the midst of the teachers,
listening to them and asking them questions,
and all who heard him were astounded
at his understanding and his answers.
When his parents saw him,
they were astonished,
and his mother said to him,
"Son, why have you done this to us?
Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety."
And he said to them,
"Why were you looking for me?
Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?"
But they did not understand what he said to them.
He went down with them and came to Nazareth,
and was obedient to them;
and his mother kept all these things in her heart.
And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor
before God and man.






Jan 20th 2014 new
Paul your a very admirable and courages man to mend a lady's broken wings.... to take your cape lay it down on a puddle for a woman to walk and hold her hands ...

This is my two cents i would seek the aid of professional or those who have knowledge/experience to repair my broken wing, but for my spiritual soul to the only one who can and has been given the authority to cleanse it through Jesus Christ... the one who would come to my life would be the one that would meet me at the end of the rainbow and both of us walking/sliding to the other end of the rainbow ....

if something is broken it is my responsibility to fix it appropriately and to acknowledge first my frailty, who I am as a person, in order that i can reflect and work out to bring my strength and hope (i.e. if i have alcoholism then go AA meetings and those who are in the same situation, in addition to seeking and sharing my battle with them and the professionals) this of course would not be easy and difficult, but this is a decision that has to be made by me to show that it is all worthwhile for my own happiness/harmony ....

No one can force change or make my decision as person or that i owe them or they owe me.... only to God am I indebted, Jesus died for my sins, so it is my sole responsibility to comform myself to please Him and fix what I broke with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and all the tools available to me to fix me up .... my spouse on the other hand would be my support and a shoulder to lean on when and if i go slip back in the darkness or fall, to reassure of hope and love by holding my hands .... looking at material things that are broken it is not ever the same but you can look at it different after trying to glued it together or toss it because it useless ... soo too would be things that if I face but knowing full well something new comes my way ....

i reflect on Jesus parable, the Prodical Sons.... as sons and dau we too have made/face daily challenges and choices .... we seek that healing that only Jesus can give us for our spiritual soul and take difficult steps and it will always be wonderful to have someone hold our hands.... the other examples the lives of St. Francis of Assisi and St. Augustine, and other saints, who have to strip of things in this world in order to find that Heavenly treasure which others and myself strive for in our lives, and again it would be nice to be with someone holding our hands and our faces shine like the sun and moonlight .....


Jan 20th 2014 new

Hi, Paul & friends,

These posts are a good springboard for further reflection & prayerful meditation. Voicing insights can be cathartic as we continue to explore, learn & grow. In a recent relationship, we evidently sought to alleviate the brokenness of one another to some degree. He had preformed CPR attempting to save my boyfriend who died 4 yrs ago. Then later wanted me to get out & "have fun". Then I learned of his brokenness & was drawn to love him into healing. But our attempts can go only so far. It has to be from God and our participation to the extent that God wants. We hope that they are "better" having known us & God's love. After a year, my friend has moved on dealing with life in a secular manner with the next gal. And I am going to read my book on Co-dependency!

"Lesson from the Geese":

If a member of the flock is down, another stays with it until it is healed or dies; and then the other flies off to join another flock.

Jan 20th 2014 new
(quote) Genie-920495 said: Paul your a very admirable and courages man to mend a lady's broken wings.... to take your cape lay it down on a puddle for a woman to walk and hold her hands ...

This is my i would seek the aid of professional or those who have knowledge/experience to repair my broken wing, but for my spiritual soul to the only one who can and has been given the authority to cleanse it through Jesus Christ... the one who would come to my life would be the one that would meet me at the end of the rainbow and both of us walking/sliding to the other end of the rainbow ....

i

... only to God am I indebted, Jesus died for my sins, so it is my sole responsibility to comform myself to please Him and fix what I broke with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and all the tools available to me to fix me up .... my spouse on the other hand would be my support and a shoulder to lean on


The debt is to God...we serve others...God in disguise. theheart

Beautifully said, Genie. theheart

Jan 20th 2014 new
I do not think that there is anything wrong with trying to help someone with a broken wing. I think kindness and compassion is what is needed by all. That is a good thing.
Jan 20th 2014 new
Excellently written, i totally a.g.ree with what you are saying
Jan 20th 2014 new
(quote) Louise-789809 said: Excellently written, i totally a.g.ree with what you are saying
Angela, it is you i am agreeing with :-)
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