The fourth commandment reminds grown children of their responsibilities toward their parents. As much as they can, they must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude (CCC 2218)
In a "perfect world" this concept of children honoring their parents is great. Unfortunately we do not live in a perfect world. We live in a world in which parents neglect and abuse their children. I see it EVERYDAY in my job as a special ed. teacher in a low income school. I have NO respect for these parents and feel they should be incarcerated for the rest of their lives. ONLY by the grace of God can these children be productive members of society; their childhood haunts them, whatever portion of it they are able to recall.
My former husband is a "child" with broken wings, and I say child because he is 57 with the emotional maturity level of a 3 year old. He was neglected and abused as a child. When I asked him about his childhood he could not recall ANYTHING, good nor bad. This lack of recall is very common amongst children of abuse. At one point he was told he has borderline personality disorder as a result of the abuse and neglect he endured at the hands of his mother. He has never been able to fully recognize the damage done to him and continues to try to "please" the woman who has caused him such emotional turmoil. His mother suffered from emotional abuse/neglect as a child (her mother tried to abort her and when she wasn't successful she gave her to her sister to raise until she was school age) as well. And the cycle continued.
Then consider, "why" are we attracted to someone who cannot "fly"? Who's wings are broken? Because of my sensitive nature and having grown up in a home in which my mother was not available to nurture me, my wings were broken, so I sought someone who also had broken wings. And together we stayed on the ground; neither one of us was strong enough to fly on our own, much less help the other fly.
As was mentioned earlier, we are not here to help others fly (that is called co-dependency). We are here to do the work to strengthen our own wings and once we are strong we will be able to recognize another individual who is healthy enough to be in a relationship.
AND damned be to those parents who abuse and neglect their children, causing them to have broken wings.
Only by the grace of God (and alot of work on our part) can the wings be healed so we can soar.