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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 23rd 2014 new
(quote) Larry-994477 said: Silver Linings Playbook directed by David O Russell. His scout showed up at my door. David came by later with his creative team to spec out the house. Funny, but he was taken by a photo of all my children in the dining room. He actually took a picture of my picture. Too bad they didn't use us, but it still makes for an amusing anecdote. Would have loved to have rubbed shoulders with DeNiro.
Wow Larry!! How did they hone in on your house? The protagonist has a "broken wing" as he lives with bi-polar disorder and despite this, finds someone to love him.
Jan 23rd 2014 new
(quote) Sara-979131 said: Wow Larry!! How did they hone in on your house? The protagonist has a "broken wing" as he lives with bi-polar disorder and despite this, finds someone to love him.
Beautifully sensitive story that was realistically portrayed. Shocking to more sensitive sorts. The director was looking for that slightly "shabby" look which we have so lovingly imparted to our home. Our house is a real "Velveteen Rabbit" home. It has been loved to death and so is quite "real". This more than any discernible personality disorders in myself or my family, drew them to our home...(I hope)
Jan 25th 2014 new
Today is the Conversation of Saint Paul the Apostle in the Catholic Church ... how fitting this thread is to most of us with or know someone with a broken wing ... St. Paul sending the letters to address with conviction fo mend our lives and remind us who gave it all to mend our broken wing .... blessing and peace hug Praying theheart rosary rose rose rose
Jan 25th 2014 new
(quote) Larry-994477 said: Beautifully sensitive story that was realistically portrayed. Shocking to more sensitive sorts. The director was looking for that slightly "shabby" look which we have so lovingly imparted to our home. Our house is a real "Velveteen Rabbit" home. It has been loved to death and so is quite "real". This more than any discernible personality disorders in myself or my family, drew them to our home...(I hope)
LOL

Come 'ere little birdie........
Jan 25th 2014 new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: On a couple of occasions I've broken up with (or been dumped by) women whose emotional limitations or baggage led friends of mine to attempt consolation by saying things like "you're better off, believe me"...generally followed by a patient enumeration of the lady's faults. This strikes me as a poor though understandable strategy that only prompts me to shake my head and reply, "ah, but you don't know....!". For one thing, when I love someone I find even their flaws endearing (obviously I am not talking about obvious life-wrecking dealbreakers like alcoholism or a propensity for violence). For another, I strongly suspect that I'm drawn to women to whom I feel I can be of some service--helping to mend their broken wings. Of what use could I be, anyway, to those mythical personages who 'have no baggage', who never wake up afraid in the middle of the night, never lose their keys, whose lives are an unbroken succession of personal triumphs? If I met such a woman I'm sure I'd admire her, but not love her, not romantically anyway.
It would be easy to dismiss this quirk of mine as pathological but I'm not convinced that it's entirely a bad thing. It didn't stop me from having a happy 13-year marriage (ended by my wife's death four years ago).
If anyone other than myself finds the topic worthwhile, I'd be interested to hear their views on the preference for a broken wing.
This is a very thought provoking thread which has me going on several levels.

On one level this involves the different ways God has created men and women. As a man, I think you would very Normally tend to want to protect a woman. Even if a woman does not find herself in heroic need, she still has the need. I was talking to a friend the other day and he was out on a date with his girlfriend and when she went to get some popcorn or something he noticed another man kind of cornering her. So he stepped in. He said to me, "Oh, but she can take care of herself" when it comes to fending off unwelcomed advances from a "jerk" like this guy was. But my response to him was, no woman should be required to expect her man to sit by while she dispatches jerk after jerk. We don't really want to act like that, and with someone like myself, I can be thinking of how I will escape, but will usually feel paralyzed to do or say anything directly to said jerk. This is a bit of a tangent, but shows how uniquely men are created. When my daughter was pregnant with her first and riding in the car with her husband, a really raunchy song came on the radio. My son-in-law looked at my daughter and said, "I think I just felt like a father for the first time."

The other angle I look at this with is the fact that we are all given gifts to be used to help others. If you are a doctor, say, you want to heal people and make them well. Does that mean you should mistake that for romantic love and marry your patient? Once they are healed, your work is done. Your mate cannot be your project. Your mate should be the one who can accompany the doctor on his mission. I found this out when I first entered the dating website world, on fire to evangelize. It was such a thrill to see someone convert that I was attracted to those who exibited a need for what I wanted to give. It was actually a let down to converse with someone that didn't need that from me. Then I had to think, wait, I am looking for a mate, not a project! Someone who can love me and nurture me and not detract me from my God given mission. This does not prevent me from continuing to evangelize. It makes me better able to.

So maybe first we need to determine what our special gifts and mission are, recognize the gifts God has given to us as a man or woman, and then find the one who can love us for that, and strengthen us to deliver these gifts on an ongoing basis, and be able to do the same for them according to their gifts.
Jan 26th 2014 new
(quote) Virginia-1026653 said: This is a very thought provoking thread which has me going on several levels.

On one level this involves the different ways God has created men and women. As a man, I think you would very Normally tend to want to protect a woman. Even if a woman does not find herself in heroic need, she still has the need. I was talking to a friend the other day and he was out on a date with his girlfriend and when she went to get some popcorn or something he noticed another man kind of cornering her. So he stepped in. He said to me, "Oh, but she can take care of herself" when it comes to fending off unwelcomed advances from a "jerk" like this guy was. But my response to him was, no woman should be required to expect her man to sit by while she dispatches jerk after jerk. We don't really want to act like that, and with someone like myself, I can be thinking of how I will escape, but will usually feel paralyzed to do or say anything directly to said jerk. This is a bit of a tangent, but shows how uniquely men are created. When my daughter was pregnant with her first and riding in the car with her husband, a really raunchy song came on the radio. My son-in-law looked at my daughter and said, "I think I just felt like a father for the first time."

The other angle I look at this with is the fact that we are all given gifts to be used to help others. If you are a doctor, say, you want to heal people and make them well. Does that mean you should mistake that for romantic love and marry your patient? Once they are healed, your work is done. Your mate cannot be your project. Your mate should be the one who can accompany the doctor on his mission. I found this out when I first entered the dating website world, on fire to evangelize. It was such a thrill to see someone convert that I was attracted to those who exibited a need for what I wanted to give. It was actually a let down to converse with someone that didn't need that from me. Then I had to think, wait, I am looking for a mate, not a project! Someone who can love me and nurture me and not detract me from my God given mission. This does not prevent me from continuing to evangelize. It makes me better able to.

So maybe first we need to determine what our special gifts and mission are, recognize the gifts God has given to us as a man or woman, and then find the one who can love us for that, and strengthen us to deliver these gifts on an ongoing basis, and be able to do the same for them according to their gifts.
This is excellent. . . a mate not a project. . .love it.
Jan 26th 2014 new
Let's get rid of that second 'owe' as it's bad wording. Let the statement read, "When you are commanded to love your neighbour as yourself, is it because you owe him love to the extent of the love you have for yourself, or because you are commanded to give him that amount of love even though, but for the commandment, you would be required to do nothing for him?"


I guess we could approach the situation of Simon of Cyrene like this:



Commandments don't justify: they only tell you what you must do. (We are told that the Old Law could not save. It could only incriminate.) The reasons why you must do as the commandment says are something outside the commandment, to be found directly in or extrapolated from Scripture and Tradition.



God loved Simon first. His desire would have been that Simon be saved and he took steps to bring that about, especially by dying on the Cross. So Simon owed him. But the virtue of an act of charity lies in its being done freely out of love or care for the recipient, and not out of physical or moral compulsion. Human motives are mixed. If Simon knew that he owed Jesus, we wouldn't be able to tell whether he truly acted out of love. He wouldn't himself have been able to tell, either. It is better for clarity if he didn't know about his obligation, and he didn't because he couldn't have. And so the situation is simple. He thought he owed nothing to Jesus. If he helped Jesus out of concern for the broken man (as opposed to being afraid of the consequences of defying a Roman order), he was truly showing love because he was helping a person to whom he thought he owed nothing. There lies the righteousness of his action.



But why does the commandment to love you as I love myself exist if I owe you nothing? I can't owe you, in the normal meaning of the word 'owe', because you've done nothing for me (as far as I know). Perhaps it's because Christ lives in you. If he didn't, I'd owe 'you' (the flesh and blood structure that is Karen from Cottage Grove) nothing. But he lives in you and your pain becomes his pain. As I owe him no pain, I cannot inflict pain on you because it'll find its way to him, unless Christ himself through his delegated authority, the Church, permits an exception.



The commandment doesn't tell us that, but that might be why it exists. We are to love our neighbour as ourselves because we owe the Christ in each of our neighbours, not necessarily because we owe anything to our neighbours.
Jan 26th 2014 new
(quote) Roystan-340472 said: The commandment doesn't tell us that, but that might be why it exists. We are to love our neighbour as ourselves because we owe the Christ in each of our neighbours, not necessarily because we owe anything to our neighbours.
"Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself your neighbor is the holiest thing you will ever encounter with your sense,,,,if he is your Christian neighbor, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also, Christ....Glory himself, is truly hidden." ~C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
Jan 26th 2014 new
Thanks, Virginia, there is a santaclausette of wisdom, distributing pieces of wisdom such as this which are well worth memorising before you open your front door in the morning to encounter the World of Other People, some of whom will get up your nose.
Jan 26th 2014 new
So, blow gently, and use 2-ply tissue.
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