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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Feb 20th 2014 new
The only real consideration is the possibility and the probability of sperm from men above a certain age (with or without eggs from women above a certain age) causing a child to be born with physical and/or mental disabilities, because to allow hurt to come to another is surely a matter of moral accountability.

I don't think there are any biblical prohibitions against older men begetting children, but there are reasons for prudence identified by modern medical experience which morally licit medical technology may be able to overcome. Talk to a priest and to a Catholic doctor. Perhaps someone from an NFP clinic will be able to give sound technical advice.

Children, and children to be, should be protected against foreseeable physical and emotional stresses, such as ill health, and early bereavement caused by the death of a parent. Ideally, a parent shouldn't be dying until their children have reached an age at which they should be emotionally independent (mid-20s?), and, these days, it may be good for a grandparent to hang around long enough for their grandchildren to experience the love of two generations at least until they are post-teen.

But the aesthetics are important too. Children have been born at the darkest of times, collective and personal, as a sign that the light of the future can never be extinguished, because God is, among other things, the future. Women are said to be saved by childbirth. So too, possibly, are men.

Feb 20th 2014 new
(quote) Edwin-936532 said: Hi guys, I`m interested in having children at 55, but most women my age are through having children or can`t have children. That means I need to find a gal young enough to have kids. I know they`re out there, but need advise on how to ask. What do you think?
HI Edwin,

You are right most women in your age group are past the child-bearing age, but not all would be past child-rearing. There are many, many children in need of loving parents and I would strongly urge you to consider if your desire to have children might not be leading you to a child forgotten but very much in need of a loving family.

While my children are grown and I now have grandchildren and even held out the idea of having more children until I hit about 43, if I remarry and my new spouse and I discussed it and prayed about it, I would not be averse to opening my heart and home to some older children who need to be loved and cared for. Perhaps God is leading you in this direction rather into biological parenting??

Losing a parent is hard at any age and it does not get easier because a child is in his or her early twenties. My husband lost his father when he was 25 and then our son was 25 and his sisters younger when Pete was killed. it is a very hard loss. That is the time period when fathers and sons, moms and daughters and vice versa begin to embark on a new relationship where the parent is again a source of wisdom and advice and the child is mature enough to appreciate the parent. A terrible loss for children.

And, there is no guarantee that you will live to be 60 or 70 or 80. But, the closer you get to those ages the more likely the eventual end. The thought of leaving my children alone and unprotected and without my guidance would be enough to make me think twice about starting a biological family now.
Feb 20th 2014 new

I'd like to add a few comments.

My own parents were older when I was born, and my father a bit older than my mother. Being older and starting a family is not a bad idea; God invented the biology that makes it possible.

People should not be forced to be alone for the rest of their lives because for whatever multitude of reasons they have not married and had children "already".

However, finding a spouse is hard enough. It gets more complicated, if not impossible, if you start to seek outside of your generation. We must be open to the will of God, and not the motivation of our own selfish wishes.

Starting a family through marriage can include adoption, it can include becoming a step-parent, and it can include biological children. Blessings to all in their search.

Feb 20th 2014 new
Great comments here, esp. from the women.
I know a 51 year old woman who has never had children and is considering doing so with the help of technology - it's not guaranteed but supposedly it's possible. Same problems, pretty much, as with the 55-year-old man.
I don't recall for sure, but I don't think anyone's asked Edwin "Why now, after all this time?"
Feb 20th 2014 new
My dad turned 59 two days after I was born (I was the third & last child); my mom was 37. When I started first grade, my father retired from his job. For many years, people always thought Dad was my grandfather.
I suspect that some of my health challenges are due to being created out of old sperm.
I have never experienced what having grandparents is like. This is something to which I cannot relate, and in my younger years was a significant emotional loss.
Through having at least one parent who was older than most others', I believe it shaped me to be more mature and responsible at a much earlier age. And I had an affinity for the elderly that perhaps others my age did not have.
I birthed my one and only child at age 35. It was truly what Roystan said--having him saved me.

Edwin, in this thread you've been given a number of things to consider which you might have not considered prior to creating.. the thread. I hope that your pondering over them, and praying about it, will lead you to do the most loving choice.

Feb 20th 2014 new
Edwin I am sorry you have not had any children for whatever reason. Maybe never married, you do not say. I had my first child at 23 by the time I had my last child at 37 I was getting tired of getting up nights and lack of sleep. Things you might consider as you arealmost 20 years older than I was. I think it less likely to find someone younger online than in person> If that is part of your life plan maybe you could join some Church groups or other Catholic Organisations. It would be heaps my opinion to ask someone younger out for dinner etc after they got to know you. I will pray that you find just the right person that God has in mind for you.
Feb 20th 2014 new
(quote) Edwin-936532 said: Hi guys, I`m interested in having children at 55, but most women my age are through having children or can`t have children. That means I need to find a gal young enough to have kids. I know they`re out there, but need advise on how to ask. What do you think?
I think that a lot of men, never married, including me would like to have children who are in their 50's. If you find someone that young that is interested in you it won't be on this site.
The advice here is to look for someone within 5 years of your own age or you'll be wasting your time on this site.
I know someone that married a woman 20+ years younger than him but it was not on the internet that they met. They shared a lot of common interests that were more important than age and I don't think that you can find that on a dating site where most women search only within an age range.
I've wanted to be married at a younger age and think maybe God wanted me to wait until I was older. Maybe I wasn't doing the Will of God when I left Cincinnati and was dating someone there 15 years younger than me, who maybe I should have married.
It's hard to judge someone in their 50's never married; I personally know some beautiful women never married in their 50's, educated, athletic and good Catholics.
I don't think we should be judging the divorced here either who may not be as bad as they appear to be....
Feb 20th 2014 new
Good grief Ronald. What does. Not as Bad they appear to be. Lets hear it so we understand. Is it the profiles, the questions. What.
Feb 20th 2014 new
A point that has not been over discussed. If u do intend to start a family, have at least a million dollars (today's value) available to your widow and child. More if u father more than one child.
Feb 21st 2014 new
I too am a never married gentleman, but not quite in my 50's yet laughing I also wanted to become a father, but as I have grown older I had to accept that the probability of me being a biological father was diminishing. At this point, I fully understand that my options are limited to being a step-father or an adoptive father. Perhaps I will only be a spiritual father to the children in my life.

I cannot fully explain why I am still never married at this point in my life. It's easy to say that it must not have been God's will for me or that it's not yet God's time... but I'm not naive enough to say that I've always followed God's will. I understand that to a certain degree, this is my fault, due to the choices I've made. I pray now that I have learned and grown enough to make better choices and follow more closely God's will for me. Should that lead to the sacrament of matrimony, I will accept that wholeheartedly.

Edwin, my brother, I pray that you will discern and do your best to follow God's will for you too.
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