I understand your desire for children, and I share it. It is interesting that instead of answers to your question about how to ask out women young enough to have kids, you've received so many mean, nasty and negative comments. Fortunately, there have been a few nice ones about the joys of older parenting or being the children of older parents.
My Mom's Dad was 48 when she was born, and she loved him dearly. He was a role model for her in so many ways, that I feel I know him through her. He was a little different than the other kids' dads in that he wasn't out there playing ball with them. But, he did really charming things. For example, for one of her high school birthday parties, he dressed up as a butler, and as all her friends came by to Trick or Treat, he greeted them at the door and announced them as one might announce a guest in days gone by in a wealthy mansion (although they were by no means wealthy). He never let on that he was Dad until my Mom told the kids herself. To this day, my Mom has a special love for polder people because of her great love for her Dad when she was a child.
Some terrible misinformation has been spewed forth by the ignorant regarding the safety of fathering kids at advanced ages. There does not seem to be any convincing evidence of increased problems with the children of older fathers, once the age of the mother is factored out. For example, there is no connection with Down's syndrome from fathers. Down's is caused by spindle anomalies in the egg due to the fact that they begin meisosi about the time a gorls is born and hang in metaphase until that egg is selected for maturing and ovulation. All those years on metaphase lead tot he risk of trisomy. Sperm are bener frozen in metaphase, so thjis risk does not exists.
It is true that sperm, like any other dividing cell in the body, accumulate mutations with time, due to radiation and errors of replication, but the sperm have a natural selection pressure: they must swim a long way up the cervix through the uterus and into the fallopian tuve in order to achieve conception. This likely eliminates mostr of the defective sperm before the reach the ovum, and probably selects for the healthy ones. Sperm production is fairly constant between the ages of 40 and 70. There is a recent epidemi9ologic study associuating older age fathers with autism, but the rates ore very low and these epidemiologic studies are fraught with complications. I would not be surprised if there is a very small but measurable increase in some physical problems with children taken as a large population, but the indicidual rishk is going to be very low...nothing like the risk of Down's in women over 35 for example.
But, the benefits to having an older father should be taken into account. Some men, once past the age of needing to fight for their careers, prove themselves to society and themselves, chase after glory, adventure, and conquest, and largely be absent from the home, may reach a point where they have the time, patience, skill, and love to give to a family, and be a truly attentive spouse and a truly caring, involved, engaged, and loving father. Some men have missed this opportunity because they were completely engaged in their careers. Some had family entang;lements that sapped their time, energy and resources. Finding themselves in an emotionally, financially, and worlk related stable place, the love they have to gove is still there, latent, nascient, ready to be given to a lucky child. This could be a grandchild. But it also could be a natural child or an adopted child.
I'm in Fiji just now, and a few days ago I met a man in his 70s who has just adopted a beautiful little Fijian girl of about 3. She is actually his grand daoughter, but the mother was deemed incompetent, the father has disappeared, and he and his wife petitioned and were granted legal custody, and now they weill raise this lovely girl. Rightly so. He appears to be a level headed man who has much to give to this lucky child. Whenever the Lord takes him home, she will still have had some years, perhaps many, of love, care, concern, and example. I found him an inspiration.
Anyway, I just wanted to write you and the few others of us guys out there that missed out on a real family life but have reached a stage of life where we are ready. Hopefully we have 20 or 30 more good years left, lots of love in our hearts, and enough time, energy, focus, wisdom, money, and skill to be a great dad and a full time husband...not someone flitting off to save the world, like so many 20, 30, and 40 year olds who only see their kids in passing.
Of course, as you may have gathered from this thread, you are not too likely to find the women who appreciates this in America! I won't speculate on why. But, there are places in the world where age is considered a matter of respect and wisdom and honor, and not a thing to be ashamed about. We must look into our hearts and see if we have the energy, love and compassion to commit to it. We must take care of our health, stay happy, and not let the naysayers discourage us.
So many things I've accomplished in my short life started out with people saying, no way...you can't do that because....blah, blah, blah. In most cases I've proved them wrong. Yes, you can do that. But, you can't do everything all at once. To achieve the really challenging but worthwhile goal, you have to commit to it fully with all your heart. A fellow who in his 40s or 50s or higher who commits to being a great dad and husband would have a high likelihood of succeeding, I think, provided he were willing to put chasing the other things that distracted him in his youth aside and truly focused on those roles. Non illigitimi carborundum!!
Good luck, mate!