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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Feb 22nd 2014 new
Big Brother Program? Another possibility to make a difference.

A lot of stories about open adoptions where the single mother (who is usually young - teen or early 20s) can look at files of hopeful applicants have a running theme. Time and time again, the mother usually rejects couples who are or look "older." Whether that's right or wrong, I think I can understand why they would do that.

There has to be a reason why fertility declines with age.
Feb 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Jacqueline-198 said: with God all things are possible, however not too many younger women would want to date an older man, and to think its for the possibility of having children (brood mare?) i always wanted children to late for me, but Ive always wanted to adopt, perhaps that would be a great option for you. keep it all in God's hands.

Well, I just got a view from a never married 57 year old man. In his profile he states he still looks young and wouldn't mind finding a woman to have children with.... Haha that's not going to happen with me:) I see quite a few men in their 50's still wanting to start families on this site. Like I said in my previous post, I'm not going to judge them. Hopefully the Lord will lead them to women with children or like you said, be willing to adopt.

Feb 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Kathy-730470 said: I like what you said Laura that God will give us a way if it is meant to be. Everything happens for a reason and in God's time not ours. However, at 55 to have a child for the first time would be difficult. It is hard when one is biologically younger. For me I would be worried about birth defects, the child not having a parent after 20, and my wife becoming a widow. For me I believe that at 55 it is not a good idea. Why not be a father to your wife's children should you marry someone with children? Although you may wish to have your own children you need to find a spouse first. Then it would be a decision that you could both make together. I wish you well in your search and decision.
He could easily marry 10 years younger and a woman 45 could still have children. My mom had her last of 7 when she was 42. In the Catholic Church they would have to be open to life, so it still boils down to God's will if you believe in the teachings of the church. Poor guy, I notice he hasn't been responding...
Feb 22nd 2014 new
I cannot believe the older parents nightmare scenarios that are being cooked up on this forum.

How many children with special needs are the result of poor pre-natal health care amongst younger parents? How many children with special needs are the result of parents who abused drugs and alcohol? (I believe there is a condition called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, but I have never heard of Fetal Parents Are Too Old Syndrome.) How many children with special needs are the result of a chance genetic mutation that has nothing to do with the age of the parents? How many children with special needs are the result of environmental factors such as toxic spills, contaminated water, etc.?

Some (not all) of the comments are borderline bullying - using fake nightmare scenarios to intimidate someone from not seeking a spouse and building a family. I would hope that CM members would encourage other members to be open to the will of God and be open to life and family values.

Feb 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Ronald-937125 said: I think that a lot of men, never married, including me would like to have children who are in their 50's.....
I don't know, children who are in their 50's aren't nearly as cute as little ones and they're even less likely to do what you tell them. On the other hand, they're presumably housebroken :)
OK, I'm really writing because of Angela's comment about a lot of 'borderline bullying' in this thread. She makes some great points as usual, but I still think it's fair to ask 'why are you thinking of fatherhood now, after all these years (decades)? what stopped you before? do you see any downsides in being married to someone 20-35 years younger than yourself?' etc. Of course there may be Joseph-and-Mary instances where God leads a couple of widely divergent ages to marriage, but prudence being the first of the Christian virtues, I think it's fair and indeed necessary to ask these questions and some of the others that have been raised here. I am guessing that we're all open to the possibility where the answers are not prohibiive and the 50-year old marries the 30-year old and all is well. But it can't be wrong to ask the questions.
The other side of openmindedness, too, is that you may end up with someone who is older than the person in your ideal target age range. If one is going to argue 'people should be openminded enough to accept the possibility of my marrying a woman who is 25 years younger than me', it seems only fair to add 'and I'm openminded enough to accept the possibility of my marrying a woman who is seven years older than me'.
Feb 22nd 2014 new
You need to ask Jesus for a miracle. I'm younger and already have little hope of such a thing happening to me. While anything is possible, the odds are slim. Just read through these forums and see for yourself what women under 40 think of men over 50 even looking at their profiles. Of course, the odds are worse if you don't try, but be prepared for some fairly nasty rejection, assuming anyone will even write back.
Feb 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Edwin-936532 said: Hi guys, I`m interested in having children at 55, but most women my age are through having children or can`t have children. That means I need to find a gal young enough to have kids. I know they`re out there, but need advise on how to ask. What do you think?
That ship may have sailed. Try to put others ahead of yourself. Your wife may be widowed and your child fatherless at an early age. Why? because after waiting all these years, NOW you want a wife and kids?? Seriously, Do you want to be 60 and sitting in an orientation for parents of kindergarten children and 74 years old at your child's high school graduation? Find a woman your age who has children and be there for her grandchildren.
Feb 22nd 2014 new
Edwin - I see y our situation as difficult but not impossible. There are women who prefer an "older" man and probably some who already have a child(ren) and are open to another. It is safer for an older woman to have a baby if she has already had at least one child. All any of us can do is pray that God will listen to our prayers and grant us our desire if it is His holy will.
Feb 22nd 2014 new
(quote) Paul-1049651 said: I don't know, children who are in their 50's aren't nearly as cute as little ones and they're even less likely to do what you tell them. On the other hand, they're presumably housebroken :)
OK, I'm really writing because of Angela's comment about a lot of 'borderline bullying' in this thread. She makes some great points as usual, but I still think it's fair to ask 'why are you thinking of fatherhood now, after all these years (decades)? what stopped you before? do you see any downsides in being married to someone 20-35 years younger than yourself?' etc. Of course there may be Joseph-and-Mary instances where God leads a couple of widely divergent ages to marriage, but prudence being the first of the Christian virtues, I think it's fair and indeed necessary to ask these questions and some of the others that have been raised here. I am guessing that we're all open to the possibility where the answers are not prohibiive and the 50-year old marries the 30-year old and all is well. But it can't be wrong to ask the questions.
The other side of openmindedness, too, is that you may end up with someone who is older than the person in your ideal target age range. If one is going to argue 'people should be openminded enough to accept the possibility of my marrying a woman who is 25 years younger than me', it seems only fair to add 'and I'm openminded enough to accept the possibility of my marrying a woman who is seven years older than me'.
Haha! Seriously though, I think those questions are perfectly appropriate for some considering a relationship with him, but questions like "Why didn't you get married?" and "Why didn't you have kids?" can be a little intrusive if there is no potential for a relationship. The answers to those questions can be very personal. He doesn't owe those answers to the group at large.
Feb 22nd 2014 new
I completely understand your desire to have children. I am also 55 and only had one child. I have always hoped that I could re-marry and have more children. Sadly, that hasn't happened and I'm reaching the point that I won't be able to. I went through the program to adopt when I was 50, but it didn't happen.
My grandfather was 56 when he married my grandmother. She wAs 32 and it was a first marriage for both. They had three children, and althiugh he died when they were 20, 17 and 15, I can't imagine life without my uncles, and wouldn't be here without my mom.
Try to be open to the many possibilities.
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