Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

May 7th 2014 new
A good cry, movie night, and cheese-its with milk!
May 7th 2014 new
I eat a box of chocolate truffles and then move on. Like Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde.
Jun 2nd 2014 new
(quote) Joanna-615441 said: We all go through it at some point in our lives, a relationship ends. Whether we ended it or the other person did, whether it needed to end or we didn't expect it and it came as a shock. We all know that sick feeling in our hearts when all the hopes and dreams are crushed. We have all experienced that feeling of vertigo and nausea like we are on a bad carnival ride after eating salmonella laced chicken.

So what do you do to cope?
Cope?

Delete emails, txts, phone numbers, photos, cards, clothing (ties, etc)...throw out anything that reminds me of them (like when I gave up smoking, all the ashtrays, lighters, matches, pipes, etc got tossed).

Look at myself in the mirror. What did I do wrong? Fix it.

Move on. Life's too short to eat chicken that's turned.
Jun 2nd 2014 new
I often remind myself that this is Gods will for my life. I know he expects us to forgive them, as he forgives us. This is how I find my peace. Just remembering God is in control and He alone knows Whats best. So no need to further question the situation, just offer up the pain. :)
Jun 3rd 2014 new
Alison, this response is not intended to be directed towards you, but how else does someone add commentary except to "respond"
? believe that in God's love for everything, people are allowed to be people, and nature is allowed to be nature. I don't believe it is God's will for relationships to begin or end. But rather, God is present in all situations and we but need to turn toward God for strength and comfort when our lives are troubled. I just don't buy the whole thing about God "wills" for a relationship to end and someone is hurt! The only thing I believe God wills for us, is deep joy that comes from being closer to God day by day!
Do we honestly believe it is God's will for things to happen?
Like a plane crash, earthquake, car accidents, and hurricanes?
Perhaps it is a way to comfort ourselves to blame God for our broken relationships. But I won't blame God for anything at this point! Just my 2 cents!
Jun 3rd 2014 new
(quote) Christine-960631 said: Alison, this response is not intended to be directed towards you, but how else does someone add commentary except to "respond"
? believe that in God's love for everything, people are allowed to be people, and nature is allowed to be nature. I don't believe it is God's will for relationships to begin or end. But rather, God is present in all situations and we but need to turn toward God for strength and comfort when our lives are troubled. I just don't buy the whole thing about God "wills" for a relationship to end and someone is hurt! The only thing I believe God wills for us, is deep joy that comes from being closer to God day by day!
Do we honestly believe it is God's will for things to happen?
Like a plane crash, earthquake, car accidents, and hurricanes?
Perhaps it is a way to comfort ourselves to blame God for our broken relationships. But I won't blame God for anything at this point! Just my 2 cents!
Christine, I agree with you- telling someone who has suffered a loss through death or the end of a relationship that it's "God's Will," is one of the worst things you can tell them. An old friend lost his adult son several years ago to congenital heart disease. At his son's memorial service, someone said that to him. His blistering response can not be repeated here.
Jun 3rd 2014 new
Though it has been since 2007 when my ex husband and I separated and 2010 when we divorced, there are still things that I grieve. The loss of our family unit is a biggie. Holidays and special occasions when we would have all been together, now disjointed especially since he is re-married. I have spent a lot of time in introspection and prayer. The silver lining is that I have learned a lot about myself-- the good, the bad. I had the good fortune of a great marriage and family therapist's help during the crisis period and beyond. Supportive friends and family, getting to know myself as a single woman, thinking about what I want and praying for God's wisdom and guidance. If it is His will that I meet someone and have a loving relationship, I hope to be open to it. If not, well, I have come to the realization that isn't so bad either. I have been blessed with two wonderful children and have led a pretty blessed life overall. I am not defined by the failure of my marriage. I pray for my ex, and I have learned the peace that comes with forgiveness, which has been a great gift. Dove
Jun 3rd 2014 new
I dont blame him. I trust him. He is in control.
Jun 4th 2014 new
The ending of my marriage was a long, drawn out affair. In many ways it was sad, but a relief. The most difficult part was making sure the kids were okay and understood. Very unlike my early relationship endings. In my younger days, my relationships were difficult and drove me to distraction. I coped with prayer, long walks thinking about life, working out so hard I could hardly stand up at the end, and trying to keep busy at either work or school. Since my divorce, I have had a couple short term relationships. These ended with a bit of disappointment, but I am more at ease with accepting the results and moving on than I was when I was younger.
Jun 7th 2014 new
(quote) Christine-960631 said: Alison, this response is not intended to be directed towards you, but how else does someone add commentary except to "respond"
? believe that in God's love for everything, people are allowed to be people, and nature is allowed to be nature. I don't believe it is God's will for relationships to begin or end. But rather, God is present in all situations and we but need to turn toward God for strength and comfort when our lives are troubled. I just don't buy the whole thing about God "wills" for a relationship to end and someone is hurt! The only thing I believe God wills for us, is deep joy that comes from being closer to God day by day!
Do we honestly believe it is God's will for things to happen?
Like a plane crash, earthquake, car accidents, and hurricanes?
Perhaps it is a way to comfort ourselves to blame God for our broken relationships. But I won't blame God for anything at this point! Just my 2 cents!
This is where the misunderstanding about God's will comes in. There is God's perfect will (that which, if followed leads us to love, Him and joy). Then there is God's permissive will (where He allows things to happen, because of our free will, but brings good out of the situation). If the relationship is bad or harmful, then absolutely it is His will for it to end, He has only His best for us. You see, God is outside of time. Everything in our lives (past, present, future) is present to Him. That is why I pray for Him to heal me as a little girl, so I can be the woman He created me to be.
In all things He calls us to "love" with His love which is agape love. It doesn't mean to endure something harmful. If we find ourselves in that situation, we are called to detach in love and trust the other person to Him, because He loves them too. In all my learning experience for this last relationship, I have truly learned to love more and not allow rejection to wound me.
Blessings




Posts 21 - 30 of 33