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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Feb 25th 2014 new
Paul that is a good point. I folk who want someone to drink with.
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: Hi Chris,

My total lifetime alcohol consumption, excluding medications, has been about 3 sips of champagne and maybe 1/4 glass of wine, so I guess I qualify.

In my case, there are many alcoholics in my family: having seen the damage it causes and given the potential for a genetic predisposition to the disease, I decided it wasn't worth it.

As for dating, my preference is women who do not consume alcohol at all; I doubt I would consider anyone who drinks more than a very limited amount on an infrequent basis. As William noted, alcohol consumption itself is not an inherent moral concern (although it can easily become one); however, there are a variety of practical considerations I'd rather avoid entirely.

What you stated is one of the many reasons I made the decision I did. Part of me fears the weakness that may lurk inside me to such a substance. I recall having to take some powerful cough medicine when I was a kid, and the crazy craving for the stuff I had after taking several days. That actually struck some fear in me even as a kid and right then, I knew I had a weakness that may or may not be controllable. Best cure was to avoid such substances that can be addictive and potentially ruinous.

As for finding women that don't drink at all, that is a big bonus to come across. I have however always struck out on said women. Even with that one big piece fitting, all the other pieces need to fit to complete the puzzle.
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said:  So again yes, really this has to do with myself being judged and having a difficult time accepting this aspect of me. It makes it very difficult to find someone.
Hi Chris, There is absolutely nothing wrong about your choice not to drink. It seems to me that you hit the underlying problem on the head. That is, not being confident in your self and worrying about being judged negatively. Mature, responsible people will respect your choice. Why do you need the approval of those who don't?
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: Thank you for the kind words and I commend you as well for quitting and staying that way! I can only imagine how difficult that was. One of my reasons for never starting was seeing so many that couldn't quit! Best way to never have that problem is to never start I figured. Same philosophy I had to smoking, drugs and the like. Never start, never have to stop, never potentially hurt anyone because of it. Also, prayer for a prayer sounds like a deal to me!
Well....you did great there too. I "polluted" my lungs for 10 years. So apparently I do everything the hard way!! lol! Anyway, I handed my last pack to my neighbor 31 years ago. Good job....on your life choices!
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Carol-1007500 said: Hi Chris, There is absolutely nothing wrong about your choice not to drink. It seems to me that you hit the underlying problem on the head. That is, not being confident in your self and worrying about being judged negatively. Mature, responsible people will respect your choice. Why do you need the approval of those who don't?
I would disagree. I feel I am plenty confident in myself. I am proud of my decision, and if I wasn't confident in it and myself, I would have faltered and gone against my ideal long ago. The problem is, I am judged for it, just as almost anyone is guilty of judging another for some trait or look or preference. This one seems to weight heavy for people, including potential matches on this website. I have been told that my decision not to partake in the consumption of alcohol makes me no fun, boring etc. I know for a fact that is not true, I am the silliest, most fun person I know ;)
Feb 25th 2014 new
Carol, I see why you thought I wasn't confident. Poor wording on my part. I meant that others seem to have a difficult time accepting said aspect of me. Not me having difficulty accepting it.
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: I would disagree. I feel I am plenty confident in myself. I am proud of my decision, and if I wasn't confident in it and myself, I would have faltered and gone against my ideal long ago. The problem is, I am judged for it, just as almost anyone is guilty of judging another for some trait or look or preference. This one seems to weight heavy for people, including potential matches on this website. I have been told that my decision not to partake in the consumption of alcohol makes me no fun, boring etc. I know for a fact that is not true, I am the silliest, most fun person I know ;)
Yes Chris do not buy into that hogwash. I've never had to wait to dance until I had a few, or sat out of playing softball or having fun in the water or anything else because I didn't drink -- if you ask me, and I agree with you, we are more fun. . . and not only that we remember the fun we had :-)
Feb 25th 2014 new
Alcohol is run of those interesting things about catholics,,, not only is not condemned in the way the mormons do and some protestants,,, in many ways it is encouraged. I lived once in Ireland in college and in the deeply catholic country, alcohol is a way of life. I also once worked in the Jesuit residence and they had beer on tap.

However, I dont really know why a woman would hold the fact that you dont drink against you. And if she does, well then, you and her obviously arent a match, so just move on to the next one. As for social occasions and friends, I am sure you could find plenty of people that dont drink, that you could hang out with, if you are finding that going to bars just isnt any fun for you.
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: I would disagree. I feel I am plenty confident in myself. I am proud of my decision, and if I wasn't confident in it and myself, I would have faltered and gone against my ideal long ago. The problem is, I am judged for it, just as almost anyone is guilty of judging another for some trait or look or preference. This one seems to weight heavy for people, including potential matches on this website. I have been told that my decision not to partake in the consumption of alcohol makes me no fun, boring etc. I know for a fact that is not true, I am the silliest, most fun person I know ;)
Well I certainly see confidence in your willingness to share your concerns with us. But my question goes back to: Why do you need their approval? If people are going to judge you negatively, and not respect your choices, do you want to be friends with them anyway? I am sorry and surprised to hear that your choice has even affected potential matches here. I am sure there are others who would appreciate a mature, responsible man.
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: I have been told that my decision not to partake in the consumption of alcohol makes me no fun, boring etc. I know for a fact that is not true, I am the silliest, most fun person I know ;)
I found it became much easier to accept this type of attitude when I realized that it was saving me the investment of time and potentially emotion to find out those people weren't the right ones for me, even if alcohol consumption was not an issue.

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