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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: Carol, I see why you thought I wasn't confident. Poor wording on my part. I meant that others seem to have a difficult time accepting said aspect of me. Not me having difficulty accepting it.
I am now even holding you in higher regard, Chris. Thank you for accepting ownership. You are a sweetheart! Are you reaching out to the type of girl that is right for you?
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: I would disagree. I feel I am plenty confident in myself. I am proud of my decision, and if I wasn't confident in it and myself, I would have faltered and gone against my ideal long ago. The problem is, I am judged for it, just as almost anyone is guilty of judging another for some trait or look or preference. This one seems to weight heavy for people, including potential matches on this website. I have been told that my decision not to partake in the consumption of alcohol makes me no fun, boring etc. I know for a fact that is not true, I am the silliest, most fun person I know ;)
Chris, I commend you on your choice. A tough one in a relatively small Mn town. These long winters here bring out the bottle around here, so do summers on the lake. The Twin Cities used to have great hangouts for young people that were alcohol free zones and they had great music venues every weekend. I haven't been to Alex in a long time but,,,,, it might be far fetched but is it possible that there are groups of adults interested in promoting that kind of hangout for young people in your area? It might be something to look into. Then you wouldn't be judged as 'odd' but as 'awesome'.
Nope, you're not a buzz kill at all. "they" just won't know it until they meet you.
Growing up small town here in my age group meant inevitably that you would drink. Two of my own kids have escaped falling into that so far and it has been pretty amazing to watch, I admire them too.
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Karen-712407 said: Chris, I commend you on your choice. A tough one in a relatively small Mn town. These long winters here bring out the bottle around here, so do summers on the lake. The Twin Cities used to have great hangouts for young people that were alcohol free zones and they had great music venues every weekend. I haven't been to Alex in a long time but,,,,, it might be far fetched but is it possible that there are groups of adults interested in promoting that kind of hangout for young people in your area? It might be something to look into. Then you wouldn't be judged as 'odd' but as 'awesome'.
Nope, you're not a buzz kill at all. "they" just won't know it until they meet you.
Growing up small town here in my age group meant inevitably that you would drink. Two of my own kids have escaped falling into that so far and it has been pretty amazing to watch, I admire them too.
Thank you and I see you understand my problem then better than most might. Around here, I have found no such thing, or place to hang out. Most of my favorite winter hobbies more often than not, still have alcohol incorporated into it. Ice fishing for example, around here it is an ideal excuse to sit in a ice house and drink a lot of beer. Curling for example, part of the culture of this sport is to kick back and have some beers before and after, unfortunately my friends I play with usually have quite a few. I enjoy golfing in the summer. This one also usually involves heavy beer drinking. I can't really escape it. It is ingrained into our culture.
Feb 25th 2014 new
Hi Chris, I am now more sensitized to the cultural and geographic challenges of your social situation. I appaud your resolve and discipline in not succumbing to the group norm. Do any of your friends respect your choice?
Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Carol-1007500 said: Hi Chris, I am now more sensitized to the cultural and geographic challenges of your social situation. I appaud your resolve and discipline in not succumbing to the group norm. Do any of your friends respect your choice?
Some do, some don't. Some say they do, but I sense they don't really. I often get friends trying to convince me to have a few drinks, to try it. I recall my college buddies often pondering what I would be like drunk. All good fun to me, I can laugh about my own life choices but that sort of shows the amount of respect I receive from most of my friends.

Believe it or not, I find it extremely difficult to find much for close friends due to my decision. It somehow prevents further connection between me and another that does drink due to how much of a part of their life it plays. I cannot relate, and they cannot relate to me. This is equally an issue I feel with dating life.
Feb 25th 2014 new
I think it is great that you have decided not to drink alcohol. That is the problem with bars, too much drinking. I went to bars when I was younger, but now I want nothing to do with the drinking and people smoking around me. Any woman who does not like you because you do not drink is a fool. Stick with your convictions, it will get you far in life. biggrin
Feb 25th 2014 new

Hi, Chris.

I'd like to join the chorus of those singing praises to your choices. It's not an easy one and your reasons are ones I tell my kids. There is a lot of alcoholism in my family, too, and they have a good chance of having it. "Don't start and you won't have to worry about it ruining your life." That said, I know it is hard to meet people outside of activities where there is a lot of drinking. I always act pretty silly myself, and I enjoyed live bands and dancing. If you act crazy enough, no one will know if you're drinking or not. LOL! In all reality, I think we are more aware of it than others. I have a harder time at work when my bosses are always trying to buy me drinks. I'm fine with water, don't need the extra calories.

As for places to meet people, I would say the gym is probably a good option for health conscious adults that won't press you to drink. Or how about looking for a young people's AA or Alanon group? They have tons of positive energy and there is always a lot going on. If you like Christian music, KTIS puts on a family friendly concert in Blaine every year. The best thing about it is the hundreds of kids that are high on life in Jesus Christ.

I know it isn't easy finding someone that doesn't drink. (I have the same criteria.) But I think it is important enough to be patient for the one God has in mind for us. Drinking causes enough regret in people's lives. It is so much more freeing having control of your faculties.

So, keep up the good work! You're doing great!

Feb 25th 2014 new
(quote) Carol-1007500 said: I am now even holding you in higher regard, Chris. Thank you for accepting ownership. You are a sweetheart! Are you reaching out to the type of girl that is right for you?
Thank you :) and you are welcome. I do indeed try to reach out to the type of girl that is right for me, but like I eluded to in an earlier post, both parties I think, still have to feel all the pieces fit in order to progress on these dating sites.
Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: Some do, some don't. Some say they do, but I sense they don't really. I often get friends trying to convince me to have a few drinks, to try it. I recall my college buddies often pondering what I would be like drunk. All good fun to me, I can laugh about my own life choices but that sort of shows the amount of respect I receive from most of my friends.

Believe it or not, I find it extremely difficult to find much for close friends due to my decision. It somehow prevents further connection between me and another that does drink due to how much of a part of their life it plays. I cannot relate, and they cannot relate to me. This is equally an issue I feel with dating life.
Have you tried to figure out any places you can go to meet people who are like-minded?
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