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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) Carol-1007500 said: Just a question, Chris. In that you are unable to change the culture of your living environment, have you ever considered the option of moving to an area where there would be a broader mix of people?
No, I have too good of a job to do so. Also, this subject doesnt bother me enough to do so, im just saddened a bit that so few have my same ideal. Even on here, i have come across only a handful of people with a similar ideal.
Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: Thank you and I see you understand my problem then better than most might. Around here, I have found no such thing, or place to hang out. Most of my favorite winter hobbies more often than not, still have alcohol incorporated into it. Ice fishing for example, around here it is an ideal excuse to sit in a ice house and drink a lot of beer. Curling for example, part of the culture of this sport is to kick back and have some beers before and after, unfortunately my friends I play with usually have quite a few. I enjoy golfing in the summer. This one also usually involves heavy beer drinking. I can't really escape it. It is ingrained into our culture.
I would suggest to go more frequently to Mass and find out whether your Parish has a young adults group or some volunteer opportunities. Get involved with them. If your Parish does not have one, maybe you can find a Parish that has one. You can find good people and potential close friends in these groups. They usually organize small gatherings after activities and if they don't you can propose to have those. These people might drink but very moderately, and I'm sure they are not going to judge you for your no-drinking decision.


Feb 27th 2014 new
I want to thank you all for your words of encouragement and for your suggestions. Really though, I didnt intend for any pity, or help, or validation of my life choice. I appreciate it all but I thought I would get the thread back to what was intended. I really wanted to find if there are other "weirdos" like me on here. It seems a few have come out of the woodwork. Glad to know you! Any others please feel free to chime in!
Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) Chris-947337 said: I made a decision back in my early teenage years that I would never have anything to do with the consumption of alcohol. Many things contributed to this decision, and to this day, I have held true to it.

I would say I have had quite the enjoyable life without it, although, it makes some things more difficult. I find it most difficult to find others that want to do anything that doesn't involve drinking. I hang out on occasion with work friends at the bars, but I find it only fun until everyone around me stops being themselves due to the effects of consumption, at which point I usually say goodnight and head for home.

To this day, I have found absolutely nobody that has made such a decision as I have. While I do have some friends that drink very casually, most of them are pretty bent on getting drunk at almost all social functions if possible.

So, this brings me to my question and reason for posting this topic. Is there anyone else on here that has made the decision to go against the societal norm of consuming alcohol? How do you deal with it friends wise and even dating wise?

Hi Chris - I am so much older than you that maybe my opinion will not matter but here goes. My parents were both heavy drinkers. I think I was about 5 years old when I made myself a promise that my children would NEVER see me drunk. And I have never been drunk. Being human, I have plenty of other faults but not that one. When I was in my early 20's I thought I "had" to have one drink "to be sociable". I finally figured out that if a person could say no, thank you to coffee, dairy products, desserts or other foods/drinks for any reason, they could certainly say no to alcohol. I have been saying no since then. Many people will not believe I have never been drunk or experienced a hangover but it is the truth. I avoid occasions where people will be drinking more than a little simply because I do not enjoy being around people in that condition.

You ARE normal. You are not average but I consider you better than average. Keep your standards and I'll bet you will meet a young lady with similar standards. Alcohol is never necessary and there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying no thanks. Don't forget there are those who cannot drink because of disease or medications. Also while alcoholism isn't directly inherited it does run in families. That's another reason why I don't drink. There are so many problems that happen in life so why take a chance on becoming an alcoholic.

God bless. Karen


Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) Karen-856326 said:

Hi Chris - I am so much older than you that maybe my opinion will not matter but here goes. My parents were both heavy drinkers. I think I was about 5 years old when I made myself a promise that my children would NEVER see me drunk. And I have never been drunk. Being human, I have plenty of other faults but not that one. When I was in my early 20's I thought I "had" to have one drink "to be sociable". I finally figured out that if a person could say no, thank you to coffee, dairy products, desserts or other foods/drinks for any reason, they could certainly say no to alcohol. I have been saying no since then. Many people will not believe I have never been drunk or experienced a hangover but it is the truth. I avoid occasions where people will be drinking more than a little simply because I do not enjoy being around people in that condition.

You ARE normal. You are not average but I consider you better than average. Keep your standards and I'll bet you will meet a young lady with similar standards. Alcohol is never necessary and there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying no thanks. Don't forget there are those who cannot drink because of disease or medications. Also while alcoholism isn't directly inherited it does run in families. That's another reason why I don't drink. There are so many problems that happen in life so why take a chance on becoming an alcoholic.

God bless. Karen


Your opinion has no less weight than anyone else's regardless of age, so thank you for your response! I am just glad to know of another person that has made a similar decision in life as I have. Much respect!

Thank you also for the kind words. My philosophy at times is this.......Life is hard enough without alcohol getting in the way, so why drink? Sounds similar to yours.
Feb 27th 2014 new
I don`t drink at all, period. All my coworkers do and if we go out or meet at a bar, I just be myself and do what I want, which is to not drink. People have tried to pressure me to drink, but it`s a non issue for me, because I simply don`t let others opinions matter on the topic. Take me as I am, if you don`t like it, then don`t. People know I don`t drink now and they don`t say anything to me. Who goes to a bar and doesn`t drink? I do, LOL and it`s not going to change and if you don`t like it, it`s your problem. I have no issue getting some food or a Coke or a Pepsi. I`m the only one who can remember what happened during the night, because everyone else is drunk. I don`t have to worry about getting home without killing myself or others driving drunk on the road, and I`m not making a fool out of myself screaming and yelling and getting out of hand, saying things I`ll regret, etc. Another thing is no hangover issues. I can go to work the next day and function like a normal person, not being sick and throwing up. I decided to not drink because I`d rather deal with my problems and grow as a person instead of using alcohol as a band aid, not to mention all the health issues it can cause. Drinking "socially" is fine for some people, and I don`t condemn that, but one drink can lead to another and another, not worth it to even start for me. I still get invited to go out, so clearly people still like me regardless of whether I drink or not. If your decision to drink or to not drink is a problem with one of your friends, they are not a true friend. Stay the way you are, because ultimately, it`s a smart decision.
Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) Amanda-818043 said: I don`t drink at all, period. All my coworkers do and if we go out or meet at a bar, I just be myself and do what I want, which is to not drink. People have tried to pressure me to drink, but it`s a non issue for me, because I simply don`t let others opinions matter on the topic. Take me as I am, if you don`t like it, then don`t. People know I don`t drink now and they don`t say anything to me. Who goes to a bar and doesn`t drink? I do, LOL and it`s not going to change and if you don`t like it, it`s your problem. I have no issue getting some food or a Coke or a Pepsi. I`m the only one who can remember what happened during the night, because everyone else is drunk. I don`t have to worry about getting home without killing myself or others driving drunk on the road, and I`m not making a fool out of myself screaming and yelling and getting out of hand, saying things I`ll regret, etc. Another thing is no hangover issues. I can go to work the next day and function like a normal person, not being sick and throwing up. I decided to not drink because I`d rather deal with my problems and grow as a person instead of using alcohol as a band aid, not to mention all the health issues it can cause. Drinking "socially" is fine for some people, and I don`t condemn that, but one drink can lead to another and another, not worth it to even start for me. I still get invited to go out, so clearly people still like me regardless of whether I drink or not. If your decision to drink or to not drink is a problem with one of your friends, they are not a true friend. Stay the way you are, because ultimately, it`s a smart decision.
Glad to know you! Yes I feel very much the same way about the subject. I think of all of the negative things that it can do to people, and I think about how hard it is for me to even stop drinking pop and any inkling of ever starting goes away completely.

I have made it clear to my friends (in a nice way) not to ask me to come with them if they are planning to get drunk. I don't have much fun surrounded by heavily intoxicated people, and I don't like being a DD. I tell them to call a cab and that I won't facilitate something I don't believe in. I also sometimes get very tense when at a bar on a very busy night. Sometimes the atmosphere turns very negative feeling like a fight is going to break out or someone is going to get hurt in some way. I very much dislike that feeling. Other times, I can handle it just fine and the atmosphere isn't so negative, and I am at ease.
Feb 27th 2014 new
Nothing wrong with teetotalism. Where I live the societal norm is not to drink, and personally I seldom do, but I imagine there are other teetotalers in your area or at least people who only drink moderately. Maybe you could meet and hang out with some of them?

I did date a guy who didn't drink because he was a recovering alcoholic. I was fine with him not drinking. (Would have troubled me more if he was still drinking heavily.) I'm sure there is someone out there who would be cool with you not drinking.

Feb 28th 2014 new
Last Summer I was at the beach with a female friend, and at 6:30 I said to her , "Julianna , it's time to get out of this wet bathing suit and into a dry martini."
Mar 1st 2014 new
By the Grace of God, I have not had a drink in 4 and half years. I could not stop by myself, it took a power greater than myself to relieve me of my obsession to consume a poison that I thought was helping me deal with my problems.

That being said, in the past few years I have found life is infinitely more fun without alcohol. I never need to worry about how I am getting home or if I drank too much to drive. I now have the life I dreamt of while I was drinking. Above all, every single woman I have dated actually enjoyed the fact that I do not drink. Mostly because I am always 100% lucid which leaves no chances for a jerk to enter the picture. Even one drink can change someone's behavior for the worse. As for my friends, those that are not aware of my situation simply do not care that I don't drink. "Oh, no thanks I don't drink" suffices for 95% of situations because 95% of people don't care whether you drink or not, they are just being polite by offering. The other 5% are problem drinkers that want someone else to drink with so they don't feel alone. I know, I was that guy once upon a time.
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