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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

AGE

Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Celine-1048968 said: It would appear that quite a few people on this site are preoccupied with age in choosing a wife or a husband.
I think we all need to step back and remember that people mature at different rates-
Some are quite wise and mature and responsible at 28 because of the life events that they experienced.
Perhaps we should make listing your age as optional on this web site.


If this site is a meet market, then we're all different brands sitting on shelves, waiting for a customer to choose us. We bear our profile labels, advertising some of the things inside. If the shopper doesn't care for the ingredients, he or she moves on to the next products until he or she finds a package containing what is the right stuff for that particular person. Glade lavender-scented room freshener smells disgusting to me, but it doesn't make that item "bad"--Glade should not change it, because Glade also offers Floral Bouquet, and Cashmere Woods, and Powder Fresh....and then there's Renuzit, Air Wick, Febreze.... plenty from which to select.

There are people for whom age is important. If it isn't for you (the general 'you', not specifically Celine), there are many others who share your disregard. Continue wandering down the aisle till you come across someone you find more attractive.
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said:  Men are not nearly the efficient "planners" that women are; men live for the "here and now" (immediate gratification), thus they tend to be short sighted when considering their future demise.

All we can ask for is RESPECT from the other gender.
huh? Is that irony ? scratchchin
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Feb 26th 2014 new
I don't want to speak for Celine, but there are hints in her post that she is not committed to the view that CM shouldn't list ages, but is only drawing attention to the degree of preoccupation some people have with the issue.
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Martin-1061986 said: huh? Is that irony ?
IF you are suggesting that I was disrespectful in saying that women are generally more efficient "planners" and men tend to live for the "here and now", I don't believe that to be the case at all. There are hugely positive attributes to both, being a planner and living in the here and now. What did Jesus say, "look at the birds and see how they don't worry about what to eat or wear"; this is an example of living in the here and now. It is not in the least bit disrespectful. I am just asking older men to respect younger women and not contact them, especially since it has been a contemptuous topic on CM on a regular basis. AS Aretha Franklin puts it, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T".
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Celine-1048968 said: It would appear that quite a few people on this site are preoccupied with age in choosing a wife or a husband.
I think we all need to step back and remember that people mature at different rates-
Some are quite wise and mature and responsible at 28 because of the life events that they experienced.
Perhaps we should make listing your age as optional on this web site.


Celine,

I respectfully disagree with you ... age is important. Most 20- and 30-, even 40-somethings don't have the knowledge about life's events that an older person would have. Yes, I can widen my age search to 10 +/- years my junior, and the same for those older than I am, but dating someone in his 20's!!!! Yikes!!! shocked

laughing

angel


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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: I am just asking older men to respect younger women and not contact them, especially since it has been a contemptuous topic on CM on a regular basis. 
Yes, and especially in the online environment. A guy who strongly feels he wants a much younger woman (I take it we're talking about serious age differences here) would be better advised to meet them in person -- at church or in a cooking class or whatever -- rather than online; he can, if he insists, try out his flirting style and see immediately whether it's welcome or not, and it probably isn't. The online environment is already so awkward by comparison that messaging a much younger person probably does amount to disrespect, or at the very least is likely to be perceived that way.
A useful bit of self-talk for older guys: "This is, after all, someone's DAUGHTER!"
(OK, let the outraged responses begin - ! :))
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: No woman wants to be a "nurse" to an elderly spouse.
Of course a younger spouse never gets sick or becomes disabled where the older, even an elderly, spouse has to be a "nurse" for the younger spouse.

Do the wedding vows still include "...for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health ..."
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Bob-59786 said: Of course a younger spouse never gets sick or becomes disabled where the older, even an elderly, spouse has to be a "nurse" for the younger spouse.

Do the wedding vows still include "...for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health ..."
Sure, and if it happens it happens, but isn't it still better in general to be guided by statistical probabilities?
You and I are never going to agree on this one, Bob. rolling eyes Perhaps we can agree that there are always exceptional cases, St. Joseph and Mary for one.
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: Men are not nearly the efficient "planners" that women are; men live for the "here and now" (immediate gratification), thus they tend to be short sighted when considering their future demise.
Hey... my beneficiary will get money to pay for my funeral, should I die. That does not count? :p
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Feb 26th 2014 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: Age is important for the reasons already named. No woman wants to raise children alone because their "elderly" spouse passed away. No woman wants to be a "nurse" to an elderly spouse. Men are not nearly the efficient "planners" that women are; men live for the "here and now" (immediate gratification), thus they tend to be short sighted when considering their future demise.

All we can ask for is RESPECT from the other gender. Older men (and you know who you are), please respect younger women and do not contact them. They have asked for this courtesy, yet time and again their request is ignored (as Patrick pointed out). THAT is not respect.
Your so right, age is very important! I don't want to raise a man, I want a man to be a man in the relationship. I've raised kids, and though I am delighted when someone else responds to me with their kind words and gestures, it's nice, but I want someone really no more then five years younger or five years older. Thought I respect the older men in their 60's and 70's for also reaching out, I like yourself, don't want to have someone grow older and faster then me where I am taking care of them. Now understaind marriage vows, for better for worse, for sicker for poorer, doesn't mean that it cannot happen at any age. But like yourself, I have to agree with you and say sticking closer to age for myself, is a whole lot better for me.

blessings,
sharon
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