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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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AGE

Mar 3rd 2014 new
(quote) Jeannie-822585 said: I very much agree with the approximately 5 year difference. Seems like men have an inflated ego with even being Catholic because men in their 70's and 80's contact me despite my profile stating that my desired age range is 5 plus or minus. I would never consider doing this in reverse in contacting a much younger man. Men just don't want to be humble regarding this or grow up in this area.

I'm always shocked that a lot of men's profiles don't even mention God. Huge red flag for me.

Jeannie

Good points Jeannie... They obviously are not reading your profile. How true is Mt 7:13-14 eh! So one should not be surprised even on a Catholic dating site. haha lol

Give em hell when they contact you... haha lol A strong rebuke may be what they need!


God bless,

Gary

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Mar 3rd 2014 new
I got hit on and asked out by a guy who is 71 and a guy who is 23, in the same day. Even though neither one are in the age range, nor had the qualities, I'm seeking, rather than be discouraged, I politely declined, but found it flattering, and a little funny. It's nice to know others are attracted to you, even if you aren't to them.
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Mar 3rd 2014 new
(quote) Gary-916309 said:

Hi Meg,


Thank you for writing... Temperament can be deceiving.... It is truly hard to see a person behind their writing. One can be passionate and in doing so, it could be their love behind them in the way they write, sometimes bold and direct writing may be seen as unloving because some people like a feely wheely fuzzy way of writing.

I think the best read on a person is talking on the phone with them. Not just one call but many. For Bible Only Christians sole source of info about God is their interpreting the inspired word of God. The follow Sola Scriptura, that is, bible alone... If they can distort the inspired word of God then we can also not see the writers on the forums clearly. The Catholic Church has the living word, whether lived out Oral Tradition to compliment the Written Word of God with a living teaching authority or voice of God. This is why the CC has the fullness of God's truth without error. The same goes with the way one writes or perhaps the way one perceives the temperament in ones writing. So I would suggest one not just base their judgments on the forums, I think getting to know the living person behind the writings to be the more effective means of truly knowing their heart.

What do ya think about my thoughts here? Always interested in another view of what I think... Keeps me in check... Some folks never want their views challenged or open to constructive criticism. I am open for I want to be right and if I have to look at myself more so to be right, then this is good. I guess my experiential knowledge in humility has helped me desire this. Confession has taught me such humility... What a blessing confession is.

God bless you Meg,

Gary



Thanks, Gary. For me the Fora and phone calls would only be a start. I like the forum posts initially because the posts indicate how they think and believe and are not anticipatory of what a specific lady on a date may expect to hear. Did I express that in a way that makes sense?
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Mar 3rd 2014 new
(quote) Gary-916309 said:

Perhaps this may be of some help.....

http://www.catholic.com/blog/michelle-arnold/the-blessed-virgins-guide-to-catholic-modesty

The Blessed Virgin's Guide to Catholic ModestyMichelle Arnold February 19, 2013
Thanks Gary. There are quite a few Marian dress codes out there. Some have us cover wrists and ankles. Over the centuries styles come and go. It used to be quite a deal to glimpse a woman's ankle, even when covered with a cotton sock.
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Mar 3rd 2014 new
I don't think you can sum up the age factor all in one categories. It is a individual event.
It is hard to figure how it is that some couples fall in love, and age is not the issue. I know many couples who are way out of their age range, for the standard compatibility, they are truly in love and have had long outstanding marriages. They are still surviving happily today.
Maybe when love hits you, it makes all the difference. Love is a funny thing. It can withstand everything.
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Mar 3rd 2014 new
(quote) Christie-931753 said: I got hit on and asked out by a guy who is 71 and a guy who is 23, in the same day. Even though neither one are in the age range, nor had the qualities, I'm seeking, rather than be discouraged, I politely declined, but found it flattering, and a little funny. It's nice to know others are attracted to you, even if you aren't to them.
biggrin The ages here have a wide range. There are men here that are 90. How far can we go? God gave us the life expectancy of 120 years. Tiring............
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Mar 3rd 2014 new
(quote) Meg-920823 said: Thanks, Gary. For me the Fora and phone calls would only be a start. I like the forum posts initially because the posts indicate how they think and believe and are not anticipatory of what a specific lady on a date may expect to hear. Did I express that in a way that makes sense?

Dear Meg,

I am a Polach err Poleluck errrr Pollack yea... ok what was the question? laughing haha lol Yes, you were clear.. However, I know I am very different in different situations.... People can be that way. For me, I am very passionate... When I go to Mass daily, I can write so lovingly but when I get caught up defending the faith on like Christian Mingle, which I am on as well, I wish I did not write at times when I am not going to Mass daily. So I have seen a great difference on writing on the boards.... Keep that in mind when you are reading folks writings on here as well... Just my 2 cents worth of input dear sister!!! Oh, I have fun on Christian Mingles "Bible Study/Theology Board". Some are so nasty to the Catholic Church... I give them answers and I share it with love but boy they get so fired up.... I feel sorry for them, most are parots of anti-Catholic sites that use straw man arguments.... I have had non-Catholic women defend my charity I use there and blast their own Protestant anti-Catholics for attacking me... haha.... What I learned though is that I can get caught up into the heat at times and what I learned to do is to copy what they wrote, paste it to my WORD file and respond a few days later without going on... When they put down our Blessed Mother by saying she sinned, had sex with Joseph and we can't ask for her intercession or pray the Rosary, oh yea,, this can get me fired up.. But I know the Blessed Mother would always want us to respond with a gentle word not a blasting them out of the water... haha..... Apologetics is good but the best part of it is sharing with love and the only way that one can give that love is if they are close to LOVE Himself, Jesus. Daily Mass is necessary, adoration, confession, praying devotions like the Divine Mercy Chaplet or the Rosary or reading the sacred Scriptures is so key... it is vital.....

Well, I guess this Pollack said a lot for only being 2 cents worth eh!!! lol

God bless you,

Gary

P.S. I hope I was funny in my first line.... laugh please... haha

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Mar 3rd 2014 new
(quote) Gary-916309 said:

I totally disagree that men and women should not worship together. They did not do this in Acts 2 they all came together. Your point of women dressing modestly is valid and good. I just do not see we eliminate the sexes worshipping together just because your ex had a problem... We need more education on this and prayer for others who suffer... Offering up your suffering for him would be helpful that God can take that to help him and others.

Gary

I don't believe men and women should worship separately either, HOWEVER I do believe that the two sexes should attend separate educational institutions, as well as separate religious instruction.
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Mar 3rd 2014 new
(quote) Gary-916309 said:

Hello Joan,

I can agree with you on the age up to 45. I was trying to make a point not a divinitive age, sorry for my quick writing but 40-45 somewhere in that range but not in the 20s was what I was trying to point out My bad..

However, scripture clearly says we can cause a person to sin. I agree with you that we are to guard our own eyes and we are accountable for our own sins. However, IF we know that there are people who are weak in areas of being holy and more prone to sin if they are exposed to things then we who are trying to be Holy should out of charity never do anything knowingly to cause another to stumble. So, for a woman who knows there are men in the world that have a problem with their eyes, she has an obligation to our Lord and her brother to dress appropriately. She can cause a man to sin if she does not. For a woman who does not care about this, she shows either an ignorance or lack of charity.

With Food a good thing but look what the HS is saying here:

1 Cor 13: 8 Therefore, if food causes my brother to sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I may not cause my brother to sin.

My example would be if I would not have a drink around those I know who suffer with alcoholism. If I invited a friend over to my house I would not have a beer if I knew he was a struggling alcoholic. If I knew that having a beer would cause him to stumble then yes, I am guilty to some degree for his stumble.

Here St. Paul writes to the Romans via the HS.

Romans 14:

Consideration for the Weak Conscience.

13 Then let us no longer judge one another, but rather resolve never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.

14 I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; still, it is unclean for someone who thinks it unclean.

15 If your brother is being hurt by what you eat, your conduct is no longer in accord with love. Do not because of your food destroy him for whom Christ died.

16 So do not let your good be reviled.

17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of food and drink, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the holy Spirit;

18 whoever serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by others.

19 Let us then pursue what leads to peace and to building up one another.

20 For the sake of food, do not destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to become a stumbling block by eating;

21 it is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.

22 Keep the faith [that] you have to yourself in the presence of God; blessed is the one who does not condemn himself for what he approves.

23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because this is not from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin.

1 Tim 2:9

Similarly, [too,] women should adorn themselves with proper conduct, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hairstyles and gold ornaments, or pearls, or expensive clothes,

10 but rather, as befits women who profess reverence for God, with good deeds.

Luke 17:

Temptations to Sin.

1 He said to his disciples, Things that cause sin will inevitably occur, but woe to the person through whom they occur.

2 It would be better for him if a millstone were put around his neck and he be thrown into the sea than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.

Sure here is a case of causing one to sin is a child but verse one speaks that we can have the ability to cause one to sin.

Since we know that un-modest dressing by a woman can cause men to be excited and we know that far too many men do have a problem with this temptation, then a Holy woman should always dress modestly and if she says the heck with this I want to look HOT and SEXY, and this causes a man to stumble and sin, they she WILL be also accountable for her actions. Notice, I use words like if & knows etc. I understand that ignorance is bliss but I am responding to you writing, that no one causes another to sin, your statement is not in harmony with Gods word or perhaps I am not understanding what you are saying but if I did perceive you correctly, please rethink what you stated with my evidence. Perhaps I worded my writing not clear enough before which could be so J I hope this helps

Here is some sites for purchasing modest Prom dresses.

http://www.modestprom.com/buyagown/websites.htm

Another site I googled is this

http://www.catholicmodesty.com/

Leah Darrow on Catholic Answers

http://www.catholic.com/search/content/leah%20Darrow

Gary, thanks for the links to "modest dress".

In regards to a woman dressing seductively even though she knows it will cause a man to sin, then yes, she too has sinned. However I believe that she has sinned even before leaving her house, because of her intentions. Thank you so much for the scripture references. You have covered the bases very well! I never thought of someone who would purposefully cause someone else to sin.
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Mar 3rd 2014 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: I don't believe men and women should worship separately either, HOWEVER I do believe that the two sexes should attend separate educational institutions, as well as separate religious instruction.

Interesting.... point you make... I tend to not agree but well.... well let me share what is going on in my mind and bounce my thoughts back at ya and see how you feel about them ok! This is good, makes me think... Some are dead set I guess in things but this one I am not completely sure what is best...

My problem with total separating different schools is that it can create a Puritanical over doing it where it actually builds this desire for both sexes to want to be with each other so badly that when they do, watch out!!! With the Puritans within 1 generation of their absurd strictness the next generation left the faith.

I would go with uniforms to take the peer pressure and fads out of their formation... I think though that having a class per day or few per week or one per week that is separate for boys to learn about manhood in the eyes of God, how to respect women and their role as a future father would be good. The same for girls to know their role in God's eyes as a wife and mother..

My thoughts are that mingling with proper supervision is a good thing. They need to know how to interact as boys and girls do in a family. Of course if a boy is going to the seminaries then of course seminaries should be separate to help them discern....

I am not sure, I tend to disagree with you again, I'm sorry but I do appreciate your insight regardless and I thank you for it. Perhaps if you can offer me some of your reasoning I might be swayed... But my initial reaction had negative thoughts to separating them... I guess I just do not have enough info to truly form a sound perspective on this...

Thanks,

Gary


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