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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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AGE

Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) Virginia-1026653 said: If we were all immortal, age wouldn't matter in this life. When I get looks from guys 15 years younger and 15 years older than me two days in a row, I am thankful that the ages are posted. I think it is hard to tell someone's age from a picture. So since I keep getting looks from guys in their 40's, I decided to change my introduction to start with " I am 60." So far it hasn't helped. I would think they must be grossed out to think they viewed a 60.

Virginia... you do yourself great disservice to think someone 40-ish "must be grossed out to think they viewed a 60." I've noted a fair number of "60s" who look and "read" under 50 ... and I've noted even more 45+'s who look to be approaching 70 (some are obviously lying about age). Point is - consistent with most postings - within a few years, as long as two people are mutually attracted and can relate to each other, then that's a mighty good start. No one should feel "grossed out" over a mere 'look'. We do (all) need to be careful of "gold-diggers"... and of course some of us are here because we already fell for one. surprised

I know several people who have married someone 15 years from their age - going both ways! I also know people who have met and married knowing that one of them is already suffering from something that will mean several years of care/nursing; but they cherish the now and what they can share, and accept the coming challenges, but also the continuing companionship; and in the right mind set it is a privilege to attend someone through their final moments... as it is to know you were a faithful companion when you didn't/don't know the end was/is near... I've been seeing a bit of that too. Praying
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Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) Lina-796057 said: If this site is a meet market, then we're all different brands sitting on shelves, waiting for a customer to choose us. We bear our profile labels, advertising some of the things inside. If the shopper doesn't care for the ingredients, he or she moves on to the next products until he or she finds a package containing what is the right stuff for that particular person. Glade lavender-scented room freshener smells disgusting to me, but it doesn't make that item "bad"--Glade should not change it, because Glade also offers Floral Bouquet, and Cashmere Woods, and Powder Fresh....and then there's Renuzit, Air Wick, Febreze.... plenty from which to select.

There are people for whom age is important. If it isn't for you (the general 'you', not specifically Celine), there are many others who share your disregard. Continue wandering down the aisle till you come across someone you find more attractive.
Nice post, Lina! To some, age matters. To others, it doesn't. (To me personally, it never has. I enjoy communications with folks I find things in common and enjoy communicating with. Pretty simple, really.)

One person making initial contact with another is mandatory for ANY kind of relationship - no way around it! There is NO reason to think badly of anyone who sends a respectful message / emotigram to see if there might be mutual interest. Politely declining further communications is something every adult on a dating site is capable of doing for themselves.

There are successful relationships with all kinds of age gaps - hey - it it's working for the couple themselves - that's all that matters IMHO.

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Feb 27th 2014 new
All I can is I had a fair share of all ages anywhere from 28 to 87, but I just figured they are just wanting to look at my IRS comic!
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Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) Cindy-534370 said: All I can is I had a fair share of all ages anywhere from 28 to 87, but I just figured they are just wanting to look at my IRS comic!
all I can say....
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Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) Mary-363093 said: Nice post, Lina! To some, age matters. To others, it doesn't. (To me personally, it never has. I enjoy communications with folks I find things in common and enjoy communicating with. Pretty simple, really.)

One person making initial contact with another is mandatory for ANY kind of relationship - no way around it! There is NO reason to think badly of anyone who sends a respectful message / emotigram to see if there might be mutual interest. Politely declining further communications is something every adult on a dating site is capable of doing for themselves.

There are successful relationships with all kinds of age gaps - hey - it it's working for the couple themselves - that's all that matters IMHO.

I always enjoyed the company of older people (It would annoy my mom to no end.). I found out that I could learn alot from their wisdom, and I also enjoyed their anecdotes -- often-times very funny. But, it comes down to attraction, and if we're going to be honest, a young handsome, healthy man is eye candy just as a young pretty, healthy lady is eye candy. What we see is not always what we get. There is a time and season for everything and I believe we need to stay within our own age group. Keeping real in this matter will help us hopefully find that special person, and not waste anymore time -- while the clock is ticking.
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Feb 27th 2014 new
A CM'er once posted a good "rule of thumb" that got a chuckle out of lots of people:

Anne Marie said: " I will not consider anyone who is not old enough to have been my OLDEST child's babysitter....(and she added) LEGALLY! " Bow laughing

For me this means: 38 + 13 = 51 scratchchin Seemed sensible to me!! thumbsup
Good News! duck


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Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) David-870960 said: I know several people who have married someone 15 years from their age - going both ways! I also know people who have met and married knowing that one of them is already suffering from something that will mean several years of care/nursing; but they cherish the now and what they can share, and accept the coming challenges, but also the continuing companionship; and in the right mind set it is a privilege to attend someone through their final moments... as it is to know you were a faithful companion when you didn't/don't know the end was/is near... I've been seeing a bit of that too.
Excellent Lesson today. Bow
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Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) Mary-363093 said: There are successful relationships with all kinds of age gaps - hey - it it's working for the couple themselves - that's all that matters IMHO.

Another Excellent Lesson for today. Bow
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Feb 27th 2014 new
(quote) David-870960 said: Virginia... you do yourself great disservice to think someone 40-ish "must be grossed out to think they viewed a 60." I've noted a fair number of "60s" who look and "read" under 50 ... and I've noted even more 45+'s who look to be approaching 70 (some are obviously lying about age). Point is - consistent with most postings - within a few years, as long as two people are mutually attracted and can relate to each other, then that's a mighty good start. No one should feel "grossed out" over a mere 'look'. We do (all) need to be careful of "gold-diggers"... and of course some of us are here because we already fell for one.

I know several people who have married someone 15 years from their age - going both ways! I also know people who have met and married knowing that one of them is already suffering from something that will mean several years of care/nursing; but they cherish the now and what they can share, and accept the coming challenges, but also the continuing companionship; and in the right mind set it is a privilege to attend someone through their final moments... as it is to know you were a faithful companion when you didn't/don't know the end was/is near... I've been seeing a bit of that too.
As I read through this thread, and now especially the last part of this post, I kept recalling what Roystan said in a different thread some time ago....can't recall the exact words, but the gist was that it would be an act of charity to let your spouse 'marry up' economically: if you are well-off financially, then choose a spouse who is less fortunate than you are. You would be helping her/him, their family, and society in general, because you contribute to eliminating the poorer class--instead of the rich so often marrying only the rich and keeping wealth in a small circle. I do not know whether Roy personally believed this philosophy, or whether he was posting a viewpoint alternate to others in that particular thread just for the fun of it (I cannot always tell when he is jeering and when he is sincere embarassed my bad). But it does give us something to think about and weigh our "preferences" against. As does David's description of people who choose to marry someone who will definitely require nursing care soon or who will almost certainly die in a shorter time than "usual". We are loving THEM rather than loving our idea of what a great life/marriage should be. We sacrifice our wants so that we make someone else happy/happier than they would without our sacrificial love. And that love is not a one-way street.

Just some ideas to toss around the ol' grey matter and the cardiac ventricles. Could bring us to tweak our beliefs and behavior a bit?

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Feb 27th 2014 new
I tend to look in a certain age range myself--I like the idea of a match who has a lot in common with me and if he's about the same age (give or take) then chances are we had similar experiences when we were kids, growing up, etc. It's a matter of shared experience. So in that regard, having age posted is a good thing because it's a preference like anything else. Since (for me) it's preference like any other, it's also one I am willing to bend if the man is a great match in other ways. I won't rule out a man because of age. The last man I dated wasn't in an age range I preferred, but we had so much else in common that it was easy to overlook. Unfortunately, that didn't work out.

But even with willingness to bend, I do think there is a limit (at least for me). I don't think I could date a man as old (or close to the age) of my father and I don't think I could date a man who could be my biological son. It's just too great a gap for me. Maybe that's a flaw in my personality or maybe it's common for most people to think this way. But it is what it is.
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