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Mar 25th 2014 new
Tara:

There is nothing wrong with your profile that I can see if I had to be super nit picky I would say to be cautious about how you describe your personality. Let someone you meet determine how they view you rather than you stating it and putting that thought in their mind. It allows for some discovery and also might prevent someone from narrowing it too much on a specific aspect and ruling you out. (As dumb as that might be.) That being said if you changed nothing I think you would be just fine. I am not an expert in profile but I have literally seen 10s of thousands of them over the years and I at least have a sense of what is more complete.

One thing I will mention and a mistake people often make is that they spend a bunch of time creating their profile and then they set it and forget it. Avoid this. I would make at least one change per month. Photos are important (probably the most) but change other aspects as well, make little updates about things you recently did etc. This keep your profile more active in the site feeds and you never know when that new photo or piece of info might be the thing that catches some guy's eye.

Lastly don't wait to be contact go ahead and flirt a little bit. Use short messages to let a guy know you are interested. Be confident and don't worry about those who don't respond. At the end of the day you are not looking for guys but the RIGHT guy.

Hope that helps.

-- brian
Mar 25th 2014 new
(quote) Brian-278516 said: One thing I will mention and a mistake people often make is that they spend a bunch of time creating their profile and then they set it and forget it. Avoid this. I would make at least one change per month. Photos are important (probably the most) but change other aspects as well, make little updates about things you recently did etc. This keep your profile more active in the site feeds and you never know when that new photo or piece of info might be the thing that catches some guy's eye.

Lastly don't wait to be contact go ahead and flirt a little bit. Use short messages to let a guy know you are interested. Be confident and don't worry about those who don't respond. At the end of the day you are not looking for guys but the RIGHT guy.

Hope that helps.

-- brian
nice tip brian! thanks for sharing! thumbsup
Mar 25th 2014 new
I've encountered the same thing too. I do my best to show my personality, I've answered the interviews of women that get my attention. My biggest problem is that my career path keeps me confined to a few states, and all of the women who returned my messages are not from those states.

Music definitely isn't scaring the men away. I like music too, in fact that's been one of the conversations that I've begun having, is how to describe my taste in music that doesn't fit into one artist, genre, or instrument. Especially when aesthetic appeal is so subjective.
Mar 26th 2014 new
I think we all feel this way! I know I commented on another thread earlier today about the same thing. I think all of us would love feed back on our profiles. I know I would!

I wish I could give you insight as to why you aren't getting contacted. If I could, then I'd be able to answer the same question for myself. If someone who looks at your profile catches your eye, look at theirs. Perhaps they need a little reassurance you might be interested in them before they make a move. Or contact them. Although, lots of people (men and women) do that and complain of getting no responses. I wish I knew what the deal is, because it sure is frustrating.
Mar 26th 2014 new
Hi Tara. Like everyone else, I see nothing wrong with your profile. I want to applaud your courage in mentioning the CP. You're a lovely young lady and appear to have it all together. I know this means nothing but if I were 20 years younger, your profile would definitely have my interest.

I do agree with another poster who said you shouldn't wait but make first contact. I'm no expert at this online stuff but what I have noticed is that I get more responses when I include something I found interesting in a lady's profile as part of my introduction. That at least communicates to her that I read her profile and didn't just look at her pictures before I sent a smile.

Anyway, you're too young to give up yet. Keep your chin up. When the time is right, God will put the right man in your path.

Mar 26th 2014 new
Hey Tara! Your updated profile looks great! I would agree with Brian's post above that it is always better to let others determine your personality than to be so specific about it. For instance, I am pretty quiet, but instead of saying that on my profile, I describe things that I like to do (curling up with a good book for example) that can give those viewing my profile an idea of my personality without being specific. Hope this helps, but like I said, your updated profile looks great!
Mar 26th 2014 new
Tara in answer to your question, Probably not I looked at your page and it looks fine, but I'm new here so what do I know. the other people who posted replies had some interesting ideas.

speaking personally when someone views my profile I like to view theirs if some one takes my interview I take it as a possiblity that hey might be interested but If they don't it feels like they aren't because I put it their for people to tell me what they think and to help me get to know them, so if they don't try it I feel like they are telling me they are not interested.

Also if I send a message but I don't get a message back I'm kind of shy so there is an excellent chance that's the last that person is going to hear from me.

I agree with others that if you see a profile that you think is interesting taking an interview or sending an emoticon or even a nice little message will improve your chances with a guy/gentleman/dude. regarding attractive photos well they can't hurt either but you seem to have that covered already. At minimum reciprocate but I wouldn't mind a girl for initiating.

Don't get discouraged Some guys are looking for specific things that are important to them so some attempts will miss and you will not know why.

Oh and I don't know how much this matters but I customized my Interview questions. I figured if some one is going to go through the effort of filling it out I should try to make it at least a little fun and interesting.

Also I don't see this site as a quick-fix. I'm not saying you do. This site is just one method and any method will take some time. I have to admit I get a little excited to see all the people that show up when I do a search, but I try not to let that feeling run away with me cause this is kind of like fishing and you can put out all kinds of feelers but you don't know what will come back. One has to be prepared that what might come back will just be a nice person who is looking for different things in a spouse. I'm sorry you haven't been having much luck. What is your activity on the site like? do you check it a lot or just a little.

Mar 26th 2014 new
(quote) Brian-278516 said: Photos are important (probably the most) but change other aspects as well, make little updates about things you recently did etc. This keep your profile more active in the site feeds and you never know when that new photo or piece of info might be the thing that catches some guy's eye.
I would agree with Brian's comments 100%.
There is an apsect of the home page that many members may not realize and that is in the section labeld "Album Photos:"
Any viewing of the photos in the "album photos: section of the home page does NOT register as a view to a members profile. So someone who may be interested - but is not sure may never click on your profile so that they do not show up as someone who viewed your profile.
But they may browse your photos without such a fear. This can be used to ones advantage:
  • Placing descriptions/comments along side each photo allows them to see more than just the photo - a bit about you in words also.
  • Every time a photo is added it increases your visibility on the site in that recent photo additions are automatically highlighted on the opposite genders' home pages - on a rotating basis.
Keep in mind that any other clicks on member information listed in the homepage will result in a view being registered by that member - but also keep in mind that any changes your make in regards to the sections also improves your visibility on their homepages - such as:
  • Adding a question to your personal interview shows up in the "Personal Interviews" section.
  • Participating in the chat rooms weekly adds you the "Chat Rooms" section
  • Updating your profile photo adds you to the "Profile Photos" section
  • Participating in the weekly trivia adds you to the "Weekly Trivia" section
The type of participation mentioned above put your photos and snippets of information from
your profile in front of everyone - even the ones who did not search - thus improving your visibility.

The text along with the pictures to me is a nice touch on any photo and can provide the type of
insight into ones life that a bullet point in the text of your profile might not be able to match.

I have found all of the above parts of CM interesting and use each of them at various times - and have had many a conversation with a CM member because of my participation in one of the sections that probably would not have happened if I were not involved in those portions of CM.
My recommendation would also be in the photos as the most bang for the buck in that it along with any text
along side of it may catch the interests of some much quicker than hoping that one may visit your profile. So keep an eye on what CM displays on the Home Page of its users and the more active you are in those areas if they interest you may just more easily gain the interest of someone else there see you there also.



Mar 26th 2014 new
I enjoyed your profile Tara! biggrin
Mar 26th 2014 new
(quote) Tara-1015701 said: I am getting really discouraged! Like I have said, this is my third time on this site and nothing. Is it something about my profile men are not attracted to. I don't like sports. My passion is music. Is it because of this fact that I won't find someone? I don't get it. What is wrong with my profile? I am getting views, but hardly ANY messages. I don't get it.
your profile is great I wish I was 33 living in NC
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