(quote) Rob-362135 said: I'm not sure if this is truly "good" advice... but a CM friend who is now a CM "success story" said this to me as she & her husband were leaving an outing at my house... "Just Pick One!" This was said after a Sunday discussion after brunch where we have some wonderful conversations. This talk was some version of how to make it work once you meet someone. Her advice was geared toward me (and the other men on CM), with the assumption we're not truly pursuing (from my perspective).
Well I thought about this quite a bit, and even asked for input on a FB Catholic group (mostly singles) to which I belong. I asked if it was just that simple... "Just Pick One?" As you can imagine the responses were on both sides (yes and no)...
Turns out, I still haven't figured our this advice. Any thoughts forum posters? Is this good advice or not?
The online environment, for better or worse, tends to foster a much different personal attitude than what we would perhaps have in most real world situations. In the real world, most of us wouldn't tolerate a smidgen of what we tolerate in this environment.
Ask yourself this...
In the real world, would you juggle 30 women at once until you felt like choosing one? Of course not. You wouldn't want the headache nor would you want to show a level of respect towards the women that most would consider to be indecent.
In the real world, how long do you think those same women would stick around when they found out that they were one of 30? You'd be considered a "pig" and a "player". Women would be called even worse than that!
That's the real world. Yet, when we come into this environment, all of a sudden, all boundaries of common respect seem to get thrown out the window and we develop something of a smorgasbord mentality toward the opposite sex. - something that we would never consider doing in the real world.
As for me, I talk to many. However, I limit my "communicating" to only one at a time. Personally, for me, it's a matter of respect, whether she's aware of it or not. I've never in my life juggled women around like disposable commodities and I've never allowed anyone to do it to me. It goes against my values and violates my sense of common decency. And I refuse to allow this environment to change me, regardless of its outcome.