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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Apr 6th 2014 new
(quote) Peter-366677 said: The best advice I received in dating is to be patient & forgiving. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
Yes Peter... Forgiving ties into some advice I've given in other threads.

I would advise giving people a second chance (and maybe even a third). In regards to that elusive first meeting, some people (mostly women, from my experience... but I'm sure it happens on both sides wink) expect there to be a HUGE spark or large dose of that undefinable CHEMISTRY to knock them off their feet. When that doesn't happen they continue the night or weekend just fine, but when it's over you may exchange a message/phone call or two, but they generally have discerned that the two of you are not a match.

Sometimes it takes time for chemistry to develop, so please folks, give it some time.

One more thing... meet sooner rather than later. If you give it too much time it's natural and probably subconscious to effectively assume the best or fill in the blanks of what you don't know yet about this person from your fantasy (for lack of a better term right now). You can't really know someone until you meet and if it goes well... make sure to meet in person as often as you can.

Good luck to all. God bless each of us.
Apr 6th 2014 new
Prayer, communication, hard work, willingness to be open, trust, friendship, accepting your crosses, (because they will come) forgiveness x's 100,000 x 100,000, remembering your vows, and of course love. Not necessarily in that order. The order may change over and over.
Praying heart hug lovestruck!
Apr 6th 2014 new
(quote) Nessa-1054423 said: Hello Dear CM'ers!

I was an active member of CM a few years ago and just recently re-subscribed!! I enjoyed the fora and the variety of topics.

So, here's one I think would be interesting. We're all here to hopefully find someone we connect with and build a relationship with. The process can be fun but also taxing at times. So....what is some of the most valuable advice you've gotten with regards to dating?

Have a fabulous Sunday!!!:)
wave Nice to see you Back!! One advice is on a (first) date Never (ever) Kiss & tell laughing laughing
Apr 6th 2014 new
Thanks Mike!!!:) wave
Apr 6th 2014 new
(quote) Rob-362135 said: I'm not sure if this is truly "good" advice... but a CM friend who is now a CM "success story" said this to me as she & her husband were leaving an outing at my house... "Just Pick One!" This was said after a Sunday discussion after brunch where we have some wonderful conversations. This talk was some version of how to make it work once you meet someone. Her advice was geared toward me (and the other men on CM), with the assumption we're not truly pursuing (from my perspective).

Well I thought about this quite a bit, and even asked for input on a FB Catholic group (mostly singles) to which I belong. I asked if it was just that simple... "Just Pick One?" As you can imagine the responses were on both sides (yes and no)...

Turns out, I still haven't figured our this advice. Any thoughts forum posters? Is this good advice or not?
Rob this is good advice. :)
Apr 6th 2014 new
No one wins an argument. Learn to discuss things without becoming angry. Count to 10. Show each other every day how important he/she is to you. No one is perfect, not even you.

This is advice I received from an old married couple. What's funny is that I got this advice a long time ago, and I learned just how true it was as I became older and grew much more patient. Things that I used to think were important became less important as time went on. Perhaps with age does come wisdom.
Apr 7th 2014 new
(quote) Diane-1049865 said: Wait. What? Regarding annulments, when one's marriage is annulled it means that the Church recognizes that there was no sacramental marriage there in the first place. And if the other spouse was the one who wanted the divorce, there isn't anything you can do to keep the marriage intact so you divorce. I knew that my marriage wasn't a sacramental one the first year we were married but we managed to stay together for 13 years
I believe that Victor was speaking in general terms. I don't believe that this was aimed at any one person and her/his specific situation. I, too, am annulled, and I agree with him! biggrin
Apr 7th 2014 new
Do not expect the other person to be responsible for my happiness. This is not his job; it is my job! When I am happy with the life that I've created for myself, it takes a lot of pressure off of the other person. This allows a healthy friendship to grow because the person that I am dating is not weighed down with the responsibility of making sure that he is doing "all the right things."
Apr 7th 2014 new
Friendship is the best foundation for any successful relationship.
Apr 7th 2014 new
(quote) Meg-920823 said: Eeney meeney miney moe...
Meg, I was to say that too! But you said it first... :-)

To me perhaps, it is this advice a wiser friend shared with me - Let go and let Godl

And enjoy life while God is excitedly working on the details of the life He planned/wanted for us.

Let go of everything that stops you from being happy. It can be your past pains, your expectations, the long-list of what you want from a relationship/partner, or from your own fears and doubts...

Difficult at times - but truly, when I apply this simple rule, things do go smoothly and I am lighter and happier. But when I begin to take in charge - I only get disappointed in the end.

I also love this from the movie - eat, pray and love.

Eat means to enjoy life, even and most especially, in simple things. Pray for everything, most especially when you are happy, not only when you are sad. And love, even those who hurt you, but most of all, yourself, because that is oftentimes what stops you from finding love - when you do not truly love yourself. You are born to love and be love. There is no other way. Only love. - that is the Holy Spirit talking to me at times.

Peace and God bless!

Lesil


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